My New Baseball Predictions

I did not do my usual pre-season baseball predictions because I was tired of being so wrong year after year after year. Don't worry, I will continue to be wrong about politics, economics, physics, art, music, societal observations...but important shit like baseball...well Hell, I wanna get that stuff right.

The great Yogi Berra once said, "It's hard to predict things, especially the future."

And the equally great Yoda said, "Always in motion the future is."

...or some inverted shit like that. That little green bastard fucked up more sentences than villains (at least in the first trilogy).

But I think we've had enough present this baseball season for me to begin saying a few provisional things about the ball clubs in our part of the world.

FIRST (and I could've probably said this at the beginning of the season) best lineup top to bottom, of the Chicago teams belongs to the North side club. A-Ram may struggle with his timing a bit, but there's enough variety in types of hitters some plucky dinkers and dunkers/speed guys, mixed with moderate to heavy duty power and this year more cub hitters seem determined to take pitches, take their walks and the team OPB has benefited. More than that it has led them to play winning baseball for longer stretches of the season than the team I follow.

My beloved SOX started out that way, guys followed the example of a Swisher and took some walks...but now, not even Swish is seeing the ball all that well. This goes back to the Toronto trip. I will not judge the SOX too harshly on the basis of what happens from here on out on the West coast trip (cuz they always suck out there). I can't believe they took 2 of 3 from Seattle. Anybody else think the M's are overrated this year?

After the cubs took three from the D-bags (and yes I was rooting for your cubbies because A. Brandon Webb is the only pitcher I follow on Arizona and he pitched the day before the series started and B. I hate expansion teams and would rather seen the old school cubs beat those schlubs anyday)...

Oh, I had something cute and clever to say. What was it? Yeah - since the cubs swept the Diamonddogs can anybody guess who now holds the best record in baseball?

If you guessed the motherfucking Florida Fish then go ahead on and hang a star on your Mangini.

Two years ago Josh and I got so drunk during the course of a heated baseball argument that we kept confusing former Marlin's coach (and former Yankee 'n cub backstop) Joe Girardi with current Jets coach Eric Mangini. We were crossing over and spraying to all fields, all sports and Girardi and Mangini were caught in the crossfire.

Ewww

I will say more detailed things about the Chicago ball clubs a little further down the line. I have more thoughts, believe me but now I must go and see how things are unfolding in Wee Britain.