Frown Lines

Dev couldn't practice. His car's a'leaking. Don't want Dev to get stuck somewheres between the big city and the hinterlands. We didn't think we'd be able to play any other day this week so I wanted to start At or Near the End of Things with Joe and Chris so they could start adding shit to it. Good first effort. Missed Dev tho

I sent Rachel a note saying we were not going to be able to play her party. It sucks but I did not work the schedule out in my head. That's Kim's 20th reunion and there's no way I'm letting some dudes from back in the day try to say "Hey Hi How are ya?" ...without me giving them the frowning of a lifetime. I hope I don't get frown lines

Speaking of 20 years ago...





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Friday Oct 13, 1989 Get Offa Me

Went over to E ‘{‘ ‘s to see if she wanted to meet up with me after Phantom of the Opera. She said, “Are you asking me out after you go to the theater with Susan?” I said, “Yes, that’s exactly why I came over here.” She said, “So you want to go out with me after you go on a date with this other girl.” I said, “It’s not a date. Susan likes this other guy.” She said, “This makes no sense to me. I’m going home. I’ll get in touch with you Sunday.”

It’s not a date with Susan. She likes this other guy. I already said that didn’t I. She also likes Mark more than she likes me. I’m at least third in line. She's still in love with John. I'm probably fourth on the best day of my life. Shit.

I brought flowers for Mindy at Naptime. She fell asleep with them on her chest. It looked like she was dead. Dead, but still pretty. I don’t want to say anything else lest these pages are used to condemn me for a crime I didn’t commit.

Can't spend the rest of my days living a Banner-like existence, hitchhiking across what looked like the same five roads in Northern California.

Bah, puny television.

Susan barged in while Mindy and I were napping together. She told me to get my ass up. She told me we had to get ready. I told her it was only 4pm and the performance wasn’t until 8 or something like that. She said she wanted us to look good and it was going to take time. I told her to speak for herself and that I already looked great. She slugged me hard in the chest. Mindy giggled and I knew it was time to go.

As Susan was dragging me down the hallway, Dawn poked her head out of the door and asked me where I was going. I thought I said Egyptian Theater but she called back, “You’re going to Egypt?” I wouldn’t last five minutes in fucking Egypt.

I told her to pull the car up to the lobby. I had to go up to my room and grab my backpack. Susan looked at me funny and said, “Move it buster.”

I moved it. I put the rest of the stuff I got from the guy from the fish house (we’ve developed a code system so bad that it’s got to throw off the authorities because we forget what it is half the time) also threw some rubbers in the backpack and the journal just in case I might get to stay the night. Wouldn’t I look cool the next morning smoking a cig, drinking coffee and writing? Actually I had some phone numbers written on the back pages of the journal and I didn’t have time to copy them anywhere else. Sue C, Dee and a few other people wanted to know where things were happening after Phantom. If Susan and her roomies were cool with it we could have them all over to the John Street place.

I ran down the stairs and jumped in the Honda (the one intentional/unintentional error in these pages…I can’t read my writing and don’t remember if Susan had a Honda or a Hyundai – sorry to break the spell). Susan cranked up Powerslave and said, “I’m buying us sandwiches. Then we get dressed.”

I like sandwiches. We could even skip the getting dressed part.

One note on Maiden, they’re another band that’ll do until rock ‘n roll comes back. I hate the singing. But I’m not too proud to admit that I love the bass on Aces High. So flat and formless, yet just right for this horseshit. I also love watching Susan scream along with Maiden while she is smoking my cigarettes and driving too damned fast.

Earlier in the day she picked up a sporty jacket for me at the Army of Salvation. Sporty is ok when it’s on me. I’m just dorky and reckless enough to pull off sporty. One of her other roomies, Alyssa gave me a shirt and a tie. I said, “Where did these clothes come from? You got strangers just leaving clothes here?” “They’re mine,” said Alyssa. It felt good wearing her clothes. They were men’s clothes. The tie is not one I’d normally wear but it was ok. Susan went nuts with my hair. She said, “Your hair might be better if you washed it more.”

I’ll take my chances.

Susan looked fucking fantastic and, to be honest, I’m glad E'{' went home. Nothing will come of it but only a fool wouldn’t try with a woman who looked like this. Oh yeah, this is me we’re talking about. I’m liable to try or not try anything, depending on the state I’m in.

She drank her brandy. I now kept a bottle over there so I had my whiskey. I’ll be ok so long as Jeannie or Mark do not find it. They can drink more whiskey than I can. Bastards.

In my defense I’m always sort of drunk when I start drinking something at someone else’s house. It’s the drinking before I go out drinking that gets me.

Some defense.

Phantom was what I thought it would be. The fun was hanging out in the lobby. Everyone had cameras and we all took pictures of each other. I smooched Millie Olson. I figure you can kiss your teacher if she’s in her mid-70’s…and you’re drunk….and it’s not on the lips.

I love Millie Olson.

Susan told me that we were not going to Millie Olson’s party after the performance. When I asked why she said, “I don’t like where that was going.” And we laughed pretty hard. It was one of those laughs where we both had to wipe our eyes. I love eye-wiping laughs.

Drank back on Down Street, er…John Street. Of course we went back to her place and as good as she looked, I didn’t try anything. I actually value this girl’s friendship. I don’t want to screw it up. This is new for me. But even this won’t last. I always screw things up whether I want to or not. Alyssa and John P. were there. Jeannie found my whiskey. Listened to Social Distortion and Wynton Marsalis. Sometimes Susan is Mommy’s Little Monster. The best part of that part of the night was when Alyssa showed me a teddy that little Frank Moran bought for her. She wasn’t wearing it for me. She just took it out of the box. I think he went to Homer. He’s got money to buy teddies for girls at college. I’m just jealous I guess. I wouldn’t know where to go to buy a teddy so all the money in the world is wasted on me.

Walked back to Douglass with Jeannie and John. You know who was working at the front desk. They encouraged me to go to my room without stopping to see her. I didn’t listen. I never listen. Kim asked me why I never tried to look good when we were dating. I said, “You did my laundry and liked me for who I was.” She reminded me that remarks like that were why she left me. I said, “Well you did my laundry and liked me for who I was for awhile. I guess that was enough for me.” She called me an asshole and I threw a pencil at the plasti-glass “protecting” the front desk. I didn’t even throw it in her direction. I threw it at a panel off to the side. She said, “Real nice Ed.” Little Sandy Clawson peeked her head from the back room and asked Psychobitch if everything was ok.

Mindy came walking across the lobby. I bet she was still hanging out at Mark’s and Jeannie told her to rescue me. I’ve got good friends.

“Hey you,” Mindy said as she put her arm around me, pulled me to her hip and smiled.

Yeah. Now I was walking away from the front desk. Mindy brought me back to late night naptime. Bill told me the next day that I was so funny (or was that obnoxious?) that I was almost canonized then killed. “Made a saint?” I asked. He said, “No Ed. You were almost shot in the face with a cannon.”

That was another eye-wipe laugh.

We all stayed up until 7am and fell asleep on Mark’s floor.

If that floor could talk it would say, “Get offa me.”