Phineas J. Foggo, You're an Idiot
…or, Foggo Went A’ Courtin’
Foggo? Nine Fingers? (Mordecai Brown?) A guy with the first name Porter? Are these men part of our intelligence/defense/security community or are they the bio-duplicated/cloned remains of the 1908 Chicago Cubs?
God Bless the 2006 WhiteSOX and the 2006 Cubs. The way the schedules have been shaking out, I have had back-to-back, wall-to-wall, metaphor-to-simile baseball as the background while I grade papers. Interestingly enough, I tend to turn down the sound of Hawk and DJ after a while (the tension between those two – Yeeesh, did they have a one night stand in Kansas City or something?)…but I am becoming quite fond of the chemistry between the Blue Team’s TV men. I didn’t like Bob B when he was a manager and I hated the D-Backs. I hate all expansion teams. I think I may have even secretly rooted for the Cubs when they lost to the ’03 Marlins. Now that’s some good old fashioned, I-hate-the-new baseball hate. But I really enjoy the C tv broadcast team. We all know how I feel about No Legs Mordecai Santo.
Regarding the 1908 Cubs, it is my sad duty to report that “next year” was 1908. But be of good cheer my Cub fan friends. When the 2008 Chicago Cubs are mathematically eliminated from playoff contention (sometime in early June of 2008), the Sultan o Swaff, Four Strings (I could’ve gone a lot of ways with this one folks) Mordecai Old Dog and me (No Brain Mordecai edP) will host a special bar-BQ to ease the pain of 100 years of frustration for all our Blue friends. Mark it on your colander. No wait; don’t do that you’ll get blue ink on your spaghetti. Mark it on your calendar. There will be so much beer you will forget the past 100 years.
SOX are trotting out a knuckleballer tonight. Should be fun. Thome’s home run kicked so much ass last night. Joe Crede, you will never be called the lamb again for you are the Comet! Man, it sounds like I’ve been eating Comet. What is wrong with me? It makes my eyes turn green. Too many damned papers to grade.
When this semester is finally over, I’m picking up a copy of the new Philip Roth novel EVERYMAN (yeah, I still can’t do italics when I want to on my blog). Here’s a brief review of the book for anyone interested:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5377345
In an alternate universe, I would not be paid a bit more than starvation wages to re-read and teach crusty old books, instead I would spend my time reading novels.
I guess that would be an alternate universe written by Philip K. Roth.
Foggo? Nine Fingers? (Mordecai Brown?) A guy with the first name Porter? Are these men part of our intelligence/defense/security community or are they the bio-duplicated/cloned remains of the 1908 Chicago Cubs?
God Bless the 2006 WhiteSOX and the 2006 Cubs. The way the schedules have been shaking out, I have had back-to-back, wall-to-wall, metaphor-to-simile baseball as the background while I grade papers. Interestingly enough, I tend to turn down the sound of Hawk and DJ after a while (the tension between those two – Yeeesh, did they have a one night stand in Kansas City or something?)…but I am becoming quite fond of the chemistry between the Blue Team’s TV men. I didn’t like Bob B when he was a manager and I hated the D-Backs. I hate all expansion teams. I think I may have even secretly rooted for the Cubs when they lost to the ’03 Marlins. Now that’s some good old fashioned, I-hate-the-new baseball hate. But I really enjoy the C tv broadcast team. We all know how I feel about No Legs Mordecai Santo.
Regarding the 1908 Cubs, it is my sad duty to report that “next year” was 1908. But be of good cheer my Cub fan friends. When the 2008 Chicago Cubs are mathematically eliminated from playoff contention (sometime in early June of 2008), the Sultan o Swaff, Four Strings (I could’ve gone a lot of ways with this one folks) Mordecai Old Dog and me (No Brain Mordecai edP) will host a special bar-BQ to ease the pain of 100 years of frustration for all our Blue friends. Mark it on your colander. No wait; don’t do that you’ll get blue ink on your spaghetti. Mark it on your calendar. There will be so much beer you will forget the past 100 years.
SOX are trotting out a knuckleballer tonight. Should be fun. Thome’s home run kicked so much ass last night. Joe Crede, you will never be called the lamb again for you are the Comet! Man, it sounds like I’ve been eating Comet. What is wrong with me? It makes my eyes turn green. Too many damned papers to grade.
When this semester is finally over, I’m picking up a copy of the new Philip Roth novel EVERYMAN (yeah, I still can’t do italics when I want to on my blog). Here’s a brief review of the book for anyone interested:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5377345
In an alternate universe, I would not be paid a bit more than starvation wages to re-read and teach crusty old books, instead I would spend my time reading novels.
I guess that would be an alternate universe written by Philip K. Roth.
posted by edP | 7:27 AM
18 Comments:
Mordecai Brown had three fingers on his throwing hand. I know someone who knows his granddaughter. Personally I like the tension bewteen Hawk and DJ. But my tream broadcast team - Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon. Or maybe Bob Costas and either of the PTI guys. Thome's home run last night just landed in South Bend.
You love Mr Tony too? Did you start listening to him when you became a stay-at-hote dad like me?
Is this another "what it sounds like when doves cry?" mmoment?
I hope not.
In an alternate universe, those books would be written by David Lee Roth.
June 2008 will be an ol' fashioned tent revival followed by a conversional baptism in the Kish. 100 years of despair and anguish will be washed from their souls. Brother Devin, brother Michael, come into the light!! Bring some kleenex. My dream team of broadcasters is Ernie Harwell doing play by play, Rick Sutcliffe doing color, and Harold Reynolds reporting from the field. All time worst list: Chip Carey, Bob Costas, Tim McCarver, Darrin Jackson, and Ed Farmer. Overrated---Bob Uecker, Harry Carey, Mike Shannon. If Juan Pierre doesn't up his on base % (currently .281), this could end up being one of the worst trades in Cub history (remember the name Ricky Nolasco).
Yeah forget all the good things I was saying about JP at the dish last week. Yikes!
I was cheering like hell for him last nite tho when he robbed Dr. Bonds of 714. The Cubs make nice spoilers.
Hope that's not true of the Crosstown series coming up...
The WS Champs deserve a better radio lineup. Farmio is too deadpan to be the main announcer. Home run, next pitch... Who's that other guy, Opie Taylor?
They had the best radio lineup...then they let Rooney go. He kept Farmer in line and interesting.
Thank you John Rooney. They got Singleton for a buck fifty and a coupla fungos.
Leave it to the SNORE to f' it all up.
Hey, these are good problems to have.
If they don't win by '08, I am going to burn down the Tribune building. I am more of a cleansing by fire kind of guy.
Good problems, indeed. If I didn't read the paper today, I would've forgotten they still have Dustin Hermanson. This team is sooo deep, they can have a couple guys scuffling and still produce runs. Rooney and Farmer, to the occasional listener, always came across as pro's pros. But the more you listened, you realized just how smarmy and aloof Farmer was, and Rooney was right there with him, but less so. Major overusage of colloquialisms. Just call the fucking thing a curveball one time, not an 'Uncle Charlie' or a 'kneebuckler'. Gheesh. I think Singleton is pretty good, but I worry he'll run out of things to say as he gets further away from his playing days, ala RonnieBoy.
...as long as he doesn't start running out of appendages a la Ronnieboy.
Um, clearly I've run out of jokes here at this blog since I seem perfectly content to run the un-funny 'Ron Santo has no legs' jokes into the ground.
By the way, I like the whole clensing by fire thing mr K. We will assume you meant a big pile of Tribune newspapers to deflect any future, suspicions, charges, insanity plea hearings etc...
Hey, I hear ivy burns pretty quickly.
DC Liar would be proud of the cruelty in the ivy burning line if he wasn't so busy kicking my ass right now!
Ow, those wristbands hurt!
Now there's a whole new layer of ugly on my face.
Back to grading papers.
Damn.
Re: Dustin H...not only are they deep on that front - in their weakest area, the bullpen...they've made another aquisition in the b-pen: the fighting, mustached Jeff Nelson. I expect they are going to make one more left-handed trade or something in the bullpen.
I told my kid once already, "Son, these are the good old days."
i was hoping to talk baseball, but apparently carli simon ate my cousin.
Sadly, I don't get the reference. But man, some of those Carli Simon album covers were pretty hot.
Ok, now everybody knows exactly how pathetic I am.
Phew, everybody already knew I was pathetic.
I identify too much with Tony K. I TiVo him and used to listen to his radio show. Neither my wife nor my daughters understand why Tony K. speaks to men of my generation.
You sexy MF.
I love you Official Site of Grant Miller. I've been on the radio w/ Mr. Tony a coupla times. Sadly I even blogged about one of the conversations right after Mr. Tony got the Monday Nite Football gig. I haven't been this excited about MNF in a long time.
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