D I V O R C E
I just found out that people I know are getting a divorce. I’m sure people you know are getting divorced, but we’re talking about me here. I guess we’re always talking about me here.
What were we talking about?
Oh yeah, divorce. So these people I know are not going to be married anymore. I don’t know why they are planning not to be married anymore. I really have nothing to say about their divorce.
While I am sad for them, I am sort of proud that many of my friends seem to have pretty good marriages. The men I know speak of their wives with respect. To hear Dev, Chris and OD talk about their wives is to be inspired. These guys have their priorities in order. I’m not saying it’s bliss to be married to them (sometimes they drive me fucking nuts and I only see them once a week!).
There is nothing they wouldn’t do for their wives.
Read some of these blogs. My Cousin Mike worships the ground his wife walks on. My friend Khyle writes heartwarming and sometimes downright romantic entries about his lady.
And don’t forget my friend Grant and his unbelievably gorgeous wife or whatever the hell he calls her.
I hope my wife doesn’t think I’m attracted to Grant’s wife or I may be getting a divorce.
That’s not the point.
My buddy Bill and his wife make a great team and it is a joy to see their love grow.
To those who have been throught the pain of divorce or the break up of a long term relationship, I don't mean for this entry to be a finger in anyone's face. It's really hard to make it work. And this isn't a problem of today or modernity...although certain elements of the problem are highlighted now. There is a wedding speech in a Sam Pekinpaw movie where the judge basically says: "Marriage...is hard."
Just imagine how hard it would be to be married to a man of iron.
Maybe that's not always so bad.
I write about being lucky in marriage and I am. But I’m actually surrounded by people that realize how lucky they are and act accordingly. They do not take what they have for granted.
We are all sort of getting to “divorce age” – it’s like junior high all over again…but I think most of us are going to make it.
It won’t be easy…just ask my wife. As sad as I was to hear the news about this couple I thought it was worth writing about those that are making it…those that love their loved ones and know what they’ve got before it’s gone.
Ok, I better stop before I make myself sick...er.
Lord,
Thank you for the gift of love. Please be with all couples and help us see that love is the greatest gift we can give each other. It is said there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for their friends. This teaching also seems to require us to be prepared to give our lives daily to our loved ones and not just forfeit them in some time of crisis. Let us learn to give our love freely and each day reflect the gift of your love.
Amen
What were we talking about?
Oh yeah, divorce. So these people I know are not going to be married anymore. I don’t know why they are planning not to be married anymore. I really have nothing to say about their divorce.
While I am sad for them, I am sort of proud that many of my friends seem to have pretty good marriages. The men I know speak of their wives with respect. To hear Dev, Chris and OD talk about their wives is to be inspired. These guys have their priorities in order. I’m not saying it’s bliss to be married to them (sometimes they drive me fucking nuts and I only see them once a week!).
There is nothing they wouldn’t do for their wives.
Read some of these blogs. My Cousin Mike worships the ground his wife walks on. My friend Khyle writes heartwarming and sometimes downright romantic entries about his lady.
And don’t forget my friend Grant and his unbelievably gorgeous wife or whatever the hell he calls her.
I hope my wife doesn’t think I’m attracted to Grant’s wife or I may be getting a divorce.
That’s not the point.
My buddy Bill and his wife make a great team and it is a joy to see their love grow.
To those who have been throught the pain of divorce or the break up of a long term relationship, I don't mean for this entry to be a finger in anyone's face. It's really hard to make it work. And this isn't a problem of today or modernity...although certain elements of the problem are highlighted now. There is a wedding speech in a Sam Pekinpaw movie where the judge basically says: "Marriage...is hard."
Just imagine how hard it would be to be married to a man of iron.
Maybe that's not always so bad.
I write about being lucky in marriage and I am. But I’m actually surrounded by people that realize how lucky they are and act accordingly. They do not take what they have for granted.
We are all sort of getting to “divorce age” – it’s like junior high all over again…but I think most of us are going to make it.
It won’t be easy…just ask my wife. As sad as I was to hear the news about this couple I thought it was worth writing about those that are making it…those that love their loved ones and know what they’ve got before it’s gone.
Ok, I better stop before I make myself sick...er.
Lord,
Thank you for the gift of love. Please be with all couples and help us see that love is the greatest gift we can give each other. It is said there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for their friends. This teaching also seems to require us to be prepared to give our lives daily to our loved ones and not just forfeit them in some time of crisis. Let us learn to give our love freely and each day reflect the gift of your love.
Amen
posted by edP | 9:44 PM
14 Comments:
YEah, I understand and sympathise. My spouse and I had quite a number of married couple friends over the years and all of them have divorced or are in the process of divorcing. All the weddings we went to in the first couple of years of our marriage. All of them except us.... and you and KJ, and Olekobe and J. We must be doing something right, or I hope so at least.
Maybe I am out of step with the times. I know there are some who have a different perspective on divorce. Everytime I hear it happen to someone I know or even someone I don't - whether there are children involved or not...I feel sad.
I guess I've lived a sheltered existence or have a limited view in this area.
I hope I am not coming off as narrow or judgemental - divorce just bums the shit out of me.
Excellent post. Marriage is tough. There are so many outside (and unexpected) forces trying to muck things up.
You are very lucky, Ed. Great wife - great kid. The right person to marry is the one that makes you a better person (and vice versa). I think all of the folks you named have done just that.
Amen, edp
and the pierogie Dawg too! He's got a great partnership - in some ways I can't believe all of us bar urchants(sp?) have married so well. Maybe I should be knocking on wood or something but we are doing good despite the hard times for all of us for different reasons.
A looming divorce can be stressful on anyone and in the heat of the moment people who once shared love and respect can do terrible hurtful things to each other. If care is not taken during this stressful time, divorcees can find themselves in hot water later on down the track, worse still it is possible that serious damage can be done to an individual’s credit rating. LEARN how you canProtect your credit before the divorce.
Congratulations of being lucky enough to get someone to marry you. Being married for me is pretty easy. It's my wife who deserves sympathy.
Whew, I'm glad that someone out there is lookin' to protect my credit rating during my divorce.
Granted, I'm not married, but still...
It's never too early to plan ahead.
What am I, Yogi Bera?
"Everytime I hear it happen to someone I know or even someone I don't... I feel sad."
I'll say it since no one else has: Sometimes it turns out to be the best decision you've made in your entire life.
Amen
Gundy, no doubt - it is important to know when to let go and how to deal with what happens after and I'm glad you jumped in on this.
I think somewhere in this entry I admitted to being naive about such stuff. I have gone from being soooo unlucky in love to being overwhelmingly lucky in love - and may have lost some of my perspective on things.
Yeah, but I'm still unlucky at cards.
It certainly hasn't kept me from falling mind-numbingly in love since.
And I think that's the right attitude vanGundy. We can't shut ourselves off from the world. I am not going to speak to what happened before because you were there I wasn't.
Love, mind-numbingly and otherwise is great - we all should try to find it and share it.
Will someone please kick my useless hippie ass?!?!?
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