CSI DK
The last weekly cop drama I watched regularly (usually weekly) was Homicide Life on the Streets. That was back when there was a semi-literate cad in the White House so it's been awhile.
Watched CSI NY tonight and noticed that I haven't missed anything in the last twelve years or so.
The whole endeavor seemed to be devoid of the basic components of fiction or drama as I understand them. In the moments before each commercial break I could almost hear the director counting "3, 2, 1...and now do something sort of dramatic so the audience will sit on their couches for a minute during the first, big-money commercial"...
And calling the characters from CSI New York two-dimensional would be an insult to trapezoids everywhere.
TV ought to give up this unwatchable, tired horseshittery and produce my Mangum Opus - - - -
Stripper Cops!
Shit, the douchebag tv execs could save money on bad actors and just get real fucking strippers. If they'll spit watermelon seeds at me 'n Bill Garver for a quarter a seed (ooops, I think I promised never to even allude to that story), they'll lower themselves to star in a 1 hour crime drama on *shudder* CBS.
I even have a couple of show slogans:
STRIPPER COPS - Undercover, and under-dressed
STRIPPER COPS - You have the right to remain in the bar without paying for a lap dance so long as you meet the two drink minimum requirement
STRIPPER COPS - So much better than our show about a fake-ass, metal-lite Jesus band posing as musicians and detectives called STRYPER KOPS
Watched CSI NY tonight and noticed that I haven't missed anything in the last twelve years or so.
The whole endeavor seemed to be devoid of the basic components of fiction or drama as I understand them. In the moments before each commercial break I could almost hear the director counting "3, 2, 1...and now do something sort of dramatic so the audience will sit on their couches for a minute during the first, big-money commercial"...
And calling the characters from CSI New York two-dimensional would be an insult to trapezoids everywhere.
TV ought to give up this unwatchable, tired horseshittery and produce my Mangum Opus - - - -
Stripper Cops!
Shit, the douchebag tv execs could save money on bad actors and just get real fucking strippers. If they'll spit watermelon seeds at me 'n Bill Garver for a quarter a seed (ooops, I think I promised never to even allude to that story), they'll lower themselves to star in a 1 hour crime drama on *shudder* CBS.
I even have a couple of show slogans:
STRIPPER COPS - Undercover, and under-dressed
STRIPPER COPS - You have the right to remain in the bar without paying for a lap dance so long as you meet the two drink minimum requirement
STRIPPER COPS - So much better than our show about a fake-ass, metal-lite Jesus band posing as musicians and detectives called STRYPER KOPS
posted by edP | 8:36 PM
6 Comments:
Mangum played 9 seasons? Holy shit!
Yeah, ya coulda knocked me over with a feather boa when I read it
Thank you for "horseshittery." You have made the world a better place.
It could be worse. Have you ever seen CSI: Miami? David Whatshisface has the same direction in every shot:
Stare off into space facing down and to the left. Begin line. Slowly turn to camera and raise head. Squint. Finish line. Put on/remove sunglasses.
Nice direction, Mike.
Ed, your idea is currently running under the name "Jerry Springer Show". They've upped the ante with stripper midgets, fetishists, and toothless people.
Actually, there's regular "Cops" where lots of people strip, just not the cops.
Chris:
CRAP! I gotta watch more tv.
edP
Mikey - good to hear from you son.
Jeanz - Did I spell horseshittery correctly?
Post a Comment
<< Home