Nicknames

This conversation from last night's band practice helps illustrate why we have attained the level of success we presently enjoy...


Dev: "Dude, be careful you almost walked through Chris' screen door."

Me: "It wouldn't be the first time, remember that one Labor Day incident like 10 years ago."

Dev: "That wasn't Chris' door. He still lived with me then, I think. That was Mary Kay's screen door you crashed through all f'd up on Moscow Mules."

Me: "Oh yeah. It was K's door I broke. But Chris really bailed me out. He came by the next day with some shit from the Bad Brains show and fixed Mary's door and smoothed everything over."

Dev: "That's why we call him 'the Bondsman'...cuz he's always bailin' your ass out."

Me: "What? Well, that's why we call you 'Nickname' cuz you're always giving people really obvious nicknames."

Then Joe came out of the bathroom...

Dev: "There's Joe. We call him Joe because his parents named him Joe."

Joe: "What the hell are you guys talking about?



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Just an aside, this is my one thousandth post on the ajusted blog. You'd think I'd have something interesting to say by now.

That being said, here's another Dear Diary (or Diary of a D-bag) entry from 20 years ago


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Saturday September 23, 1989 Moms, Geeky Girls and Me

Up with Miss D until 7am. That’s not right, and I sure as hell ought to know what wrong feels like by now.

In theory, I should be able to handle at least that, hanging out and not being a jag…with intermittent smooching. That’s my goal here. There is hope for me being a real person, and trying to be a decent fellow (not boyfriend) and be honest. Treat people with respect, have fun, be clear about what we’re doing, and end things with a friendly, heartfelt…uh, handshake. What the hell am I talking about?

Today was unproductive. Got up at 2pm. I watched the Cubs win. Why am I watching the Cubs? I don’t even like the Cubs. Some of my friends like the Cubs and those friends have beer. I didn’t go to support the Cubs. I went to drink the beer. Oh shit, I’m starting to sound like a Cubs fan. What is happening to me?

After the game went over to Nap at Mark’s. Anne Marie’s little baby was there. Sarah is here name. She is beautiful, and her mother isn’t so bad either. Yup. Can’t get into a bar legally and already into moms.

The kid stole everybody’s heart. Goofed off and got ready to go to some sort of thing on Harrison with Shawn and Tom. This girl from one of Tom’s computer science classes came with us. Tom thought I was hitting on her so he got kinda pissed at me. Tom is always a little pissed at me. That’s part of his charm. Tom may have been on to something because his friend was super geeky and I go for geeky in a big way. Can’t get into bars legally and into geeky girls. That’s me all over.

I sat next to the keg the whole night so I was no real threat to Tom or his little friend. There was a band called D.A….uh, I mean Shake the Cage there. They sounded like the songs they played. I’m not sure why they needed to do the Jeff Healey tune, as far as I could tell, no one in the band was blind. Sometimes I think Jeff Healy isn’t blind, he just likes to play sitting down. Lazy-ass, fake-blind bastard. I wish I thought of it first.

Got loaded and left early. Yakked on the way home. Called Little Miss D. I scared the shit out of her. What was I saying about there being hope for me?