Not My Fault
...or, Deathquake 2010!!!
My stupid little dick town once again has made national news (not totally our fault...I think the epicenter was somewhere around Pinegree Grove or Gilberts).
In the aftermath of the 4.3 earthquake (don't believe the hype or the downgrade to 3.8 as was reported later in the day)...
here are edP's "Survival Tips When a Mild to Moderate Deathquake Jiggles Your Shit"
1. Jump out of bed, try to land on your feet and look straight up, straight down and then out the window.
2. Ask wife, "What the fuck was that baby???"
3. Put on pants. If certain death lies beneath the surface of DeKalb Rock City, it's best to meet it with pants on....especially if you're me.
4. Loot. Unfortunately due to the economic downturn and general lack of decent stores in the greater DeKalb Metropolitan area most of our city's residents skipped this step.
5. Call on a higher power...in my case I shouted out, "Save us P Diddy! Grab Larry King's suspenders and pull Nate out of the ruins of the Annex. Yes I know the Annex was pretty much in ruins before Deathquake 2010 but now even the ruins are totally fucking ruined!"
6. Start doctoring up your resume in the hopes of becoming Director of FEMA. It's DeKalb for fuck sake. You can do relatively little in the way of clean up and still say you saved it.
7. Drink...and wait for the aftershocks.
More later, if I survive...
My stupid little dick town once again has made national news (not totally our fault...I think the epicenter was somewhere around Pinegree Grove or Gilberts).
In the aftermath of the 4.3 earthquake (don't believe the hype or the downgrade to 3.8 as was reported later in the day)...
here are edP's "Survival Tips When a Mild to Moderate Deathquake Jiggles Your Shit"
1. Jump out of bed, try to land on your feet and look straight up, straight down and then out the window.
2. Ask wife, "What the fuck was that baby???"
3. Put on pants. If certain death lies beneath the surface of DeKalb Rock City, it's best to meet it with pants on....especially if you're me.
4. Loot. Unfortunately due to the economic downturn and general lack of decent stores in the greater DeKalb Metropolitan area most of our city's residents skipped this step.
5. Call on a higher power...in my case I shouted out, "Save us P Diddy! Grab Larry King's suspenders and pull Nate out of the ruins of the Annex. Yes I know the Annex was pretty much in ruins before Deathquake 2010 but now even the ruins are totally fucking ruined!"
6. Start doctoring up your resume in the hopes of becoming Director of FEMA. It's DeKalb for fuck sake. You can do relatively little in the way of clean up and still say you saved it.
7. Drink...and wait for the aftershocks.
More later, if I survive...
posted by edP | 4:13 PM
6 Comments:
tee hee hee! We go "was that an earthquake honey?" "Yup, probably." We've had only a couple since we've moved here, but after the first one, you only worry if stuff falls off the walls. Then the running mostly naked into the street happens. Yup. Can't wait to see that happens. Be prepared for your west coast visit. We haven't had one in our area or k's family's area for a while so we're due. Every now and again little ones means no big one, so.... oh well.
As you can see from my readiness plan, I will not run naked in the streets. Worst case, scenario I have pants nearby. The brave rescue crews combing the aftermath deserve better than a pantless me
I don't know why I put a comma after case...maybe it was another tremor
that could be.... tee hee hee... sorry- life's been a bit stressful here and I'm afraid that my brain may be temporarily fried. There's often aftershocks, or so the news says, but I really haven't noticed any as of yet. Ohh- now I've cursed us- bet we have one tomorrow. preferably after the kids go home-- that's just what I need- an earthquake during school hours which keep us after on a day I've loaded them up with sugar and sent them on their merry ways.... I'm evil. Yup.
The irony is that there was plenty of aftershock at the Annex.
I've been rubbin that stuff on my neck
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