Outside

Golfed and worked and played outside a lot this week...probably more than I should. My dear friend's mom passed away. Whenever someone I knew dies, even if I just knew them a little, my instinct is to go outside, to get in the sun, to look at the sky.

There's a part of me that thinks, 'they don't get to do this anymore (as far as I know) so I better enjoy it while I can'

Is that a selfish reaction to death?

Maybe.

Nobody knows, or can describe to me what comes next. Sure, I have my faith, but there is nothing in the teachings (as I understand them) that tell me what sensation is like with whatever comes next. I really enjoy it here. Does it make me a materialist? Does it make me a sensualist?

I dunno

I'm just a guy who likes to feel the sun on my face.

Maybe one day I'll die of face cancer.

But I'm going to enjoy the beauty of what is here while I am living in the midst of it all.