And Matching Party Hat
Thursday July 28
Worked with KL on material for my state licensing exam. Asked KJ to text Erika on haircut times for this weekend. I am a balding schmuck but I need to seem like a more professional looking balding schmuck.
Went to the Loco for lunch. Kim thinks I need more protein during the day. I got some of that and some grease to wash it down...
Loved the food at the Loco...a swell treat. The only bad thing was they had daytime, local tv on in the background. Connie Chung’s bitch is still allowed to host a program. I remember him being on in the days when I was too hungover/incapacitated to turn off the television during daylight hours.
My mom used to say nothing good happens when you’re out after midnight.. There’s some truth to that and I found some of the bad out there at or past that time. In a similar vein, nothing good happens on tv from late morning through the afternoon.
Ok, I have a sample size of 24 minutes at a local Mexican food place (yes, that is the most non-baseball, daytime tv I have watched since I was a daily binge drinker) but that was all I needed. That shit was truly horrible. It was actually a clip show advertising other bad/mean tv gotcha shows. I’d be more entertained if someone hit me in the head with a hammer...repeatedly.
I bet I could get people to watch that.
Took Alex and his friends to the park on 7th St for more BP
NOT BRITISH PETROLEUM YOU OILY BASTARDS!
Kim made chicken and bacon and potatoes. That was a very good thing. The little family watched Inside Job after dinner. That’s not a good time for global markets but hey - not my bad paper.
Friday July 29 Twister and Shout
Memorized more fucking speeches and made other preparations for next week’s state licensing exam. We received a bunch of product from two different labs so by the afternoon the studying was kept to a minimum.
And by a minimum I mean none
Came home and rode my bike to the bank. I looped around to get some extra exercise because, quite frankly, my fat stupid ass can use all the exercise it can get whenever it can get it. Then the Civil Defense siren went off...the sky was blue, barely any clouds to the east. I thought ‘Well that’s it, we’re getting bombed or Byron just blew up. It is Bombing/Radiation Day at long last and me without my HASMAT suit and matching party hat.
Then I looked to the west.
I turned just for a second and saw a long, skinny funnel cloud. FUCK! There was no debris, it wasn’t loud at all and there were only a few dark clouds around it BUT WHO KNOWS WHAT IT COULD BECOME...
...again, probably nothing, but I don’t know how or under what conditions long, skinny things in the sky turn into death storms.
I got off the bike and called Kim and Alex. They were at Lowe’s with the in laws. I let them know what I saw and I probably sounded kind of crazy. Rode my ass off to get home and get Cookie and Frenchie (aka Carly aka the Mother-in-Law’s Dog aka the Dog-in-Law) into the basement. Banged the fuck out of my hand as I ran into the house. Poor Cookie was completely freaked out with the sirens blaring. She jumped straight into my arms...then started peeing.
Dog-in-Law was having none of my rescue attempt. Not only would the damned thing not go down to the basement, it tried to bite me. Like the American and British armies in 1942, I grabbed Frenchie by the collar and hollered, “No one gets left behind!”
I think I mixed and misused two war metaphors, but what do I know from war? What do I know from derFunbarrel?
Later I learned that while weather conditions were optimal for producing funnel clouds, it was unlikely if not impossible for those funnel clouds to become full blown tornadoes in our town on a day like today. I wish I knew that when I was in the midst of freaking out. On the other hand, I got more exercise on that seven block panic run than I had all week.
Saturday July 30
Got up early for some fun on the bike. Thoroughly enjoyed the fact that our town was not razed by last nights non-tornado making funnel cloud thingy. Technically, yesterday’s weather event in our town was classified as an F1, and unless there is an F0 I assume that is the weakest weather event of it’s type. I guess that when it comes to threats from animals or weather events, I am the weakest (or is it greatest) coward of my type. So there’s that to be proud of...
Came back from my wake up ride, wrote out bills and biked down to the mailbox on 7th and Taylor. Studied for a good part of the day and then went to get my hair cut. Kim went out with her girlfriends in the evening and Alex and I bought pizza and watched the Season IV Finale for Star Trek TNG. Nerds! I feel bad for dragging the boy down with me, but the sins of the father and all...
I may have accidentally charged our pizza to the company credit card. Oh well, they know where they can find me. Even my attempts at white collar crime are petty and lame.
Monday August 1
Busted my tail doing repair related shit this morning. Kevin worked me over on the simulator most of the afternoon.
NOT THAT YOU SICK BASTARDS!
I think I’m ready for that damned part of the stupid test.
My hand has healed and is almost 100%. Unfortunately my 100% is only worth about 75% of a normal human in the manual dexterity department.
Me and my lousy lack of coordination.
Worked with KL on material for my state licensing exam. Asked KJ to text Erika on haircut times for this weekend. I am a balding schmuck but I need to seem like a more professional looking balding schmuck.
Went to the Loco for lunch. Kim thinks I need more protein during the day. I got some of that and some grease to wash it down...
Loved the food at the Loco...a swell treat. The only bad thing was they had daytime, local tv on in the background. Connie Chung’s bitch is still allowed to host a program. I remember him being on in the days when I was too hungover/incapacitated to turn off the television during daylight hours.
My mom used to say nothing good happens when you’re out after midnight.. There’s some truth to that and I found some of the bad out there at or past that time. In a similar vein, nothing good happens on tv from late morning through the afternoon.
Ok, I have a sample size of 24 minutes at a local Mexican food place (yes, that is the most non-baseball, daytime tv I have watched since I was a daily binge drinker) but that was all I needed. That shit was truly horrible. It was actually a clip show advertising other bad/mean tv gotcha shows. I’d be more entertained if someone hit me in the head with a hammer...repeatedly.
I bet I could get people to watch that.
Took Alex and his friends to the park on 7th St for more BP
NOT BRITISH PETROLEUM YOU OILY BASTARDS!
Kim made chicken and bacon and potatoes. That was a very good thing. The little family watched Inside Job after dinner. That’s not a good time for global markets but hey - not my bad paper.
Friday July 29 Twister and Shout
Memorized more fucking speeches and made other preparations for next week’s state licensing exam. We received a bunch of product from two different labs so by the afternoon the studying was kept to a minimum.
And by a minimum I mean none
Came home and rode my bike to the bank. I looped around to get some extra exercise because, quite frankly, my fat stupid ass can use all the exercise it can get whenever it can get it. Then the Civil Defense siren went off...the sky was blue, barely any clouds to the east. I thought ‘Well that’s it, we’re getting bombed or Byron just blew up. It is Bombing/Radiation Day at long last and me without my HASMAT suit and matching party hat.
Then I looked to the west.
I turned just for a second and saw a long, skinny funnel cloud. FUCK! There was no debris, it wasn’t loud at all and there were only a few dark clouds around it BUT WHO KNOWS WHAT IT COULD BECOME...
...again, probably nothing, but I don’t know how or under what conditions long, skinny things in the sky turn into death storms.
I got off the bike and called Kim and Alex. They were at Lowe’s with the in laws. I let them know what I saw and I probably sounded kind of crazy. Rode my ass off to get home and get Cookie and Frenchie (aka Carly aka the Mother-in-Law’s Dog aka the Dog-in-Law) into the basement. Banged the fuck out of my hand as I ran into the house. Poor Cookie was completely freaked out with the sirens blaring. She jumped straight into my arms...then started peeing.
Dog-in-Law was having none of my rescue attempt. Not only would the damned thing not go down to the basement, it tried to bite me. Like the American and British armies in 1942, I grabbed Frenchie by the collar and hollered, “No one gets left behind!”
I think I mixed and misused two war metaphors, but what do I know from war? What do I know from derFunbarrel?
Later I learned that while weather conditions were optimal for producing funnel clouds, it was unlikely if not impossible for those funnel clouds to become full blown tornadoes in our town on a day like today. I wish I knew that when I was in the midst of freaking out. On the other hand, I got more exercise on that seven block panic run than I had all week.
Saturday July 30
Got up early for some fun on the bike. Thoroughly enjoyed the fact that our town was not razed by last nights non-tornado making funnel cloud thingy. Technically, yesterday’s weather event in our town was classified as an F1, and unless there is an F0 I assume that is the weakest weather event of it’s type. I guess that when it comes to threats from animals or weather events, I am the weakest (or is it greatest) coward of my type. So there’s that to be proud of...
Came back from my wake up ride, wrote out bills and biked down to the mailbox on 7th and Taylor. Studied for a good part of the day and then went to get my hair cut. Kim went out with her girlfriends in the evening and Alex and I bought pizza and watched the Season IV Finale for Star Trek TNG. Nerds! I feel bad for dragging the boy down with me, but the sins of the father and all...
I may have accidentally charged our pizza to the company credit card. Oh well, they know where they can find me. Even my attempts at white collar crime are petty and lame.
Monday August 1
Busted my tail doing repair related shit this morning. Kevin worked me over on the simulator most of the afternoon.
NOT THAT YOU SICK BASTARDS!
I think I’m ready for that damned part of the stupid test.
My hand has healed and is almost 100%. Unfortunately my 100% is only worth about 75% of a normal human in the manual dexterity department.
Me and my lousy lack of coordination.
posted by edP | 4:31 AM
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