More of My Less Than Popular Ramblings

This may be another entry that makes people who come here wonder why I bother to write such junk. Good question. For better or whatever, this blog replaced my stupid journal, daybook call it what you will. I write about my family and friends, stupid lists of stuff I think I need to do, I write a whole lot about baseball and sports in general, song lyrics, practical nonsense, and thoughts about religion.

Something about this weekend is bothering me. I had a swell time with my friends out at the Annex and even the aftershock at Twins on the next day. However, in the course of all the fun, I engaged in some gossip and telling mean stories all (or mostly) for the sake of some yuks. By the way, I’m pretty sure I was the only person doing this. Many of the stories I tell revolve around embarrassing events or things said and done that are less than flattering. I feel sort of bad. Now somewhere behind the back of my mind I think, ‘well I make myself look stupid so it’s ok to do what I do’ – but the other people that get splattered in the stories, they didn’t ask to be a part of the folly did they?

Please don’t mistake this for Catholic guilt or anything like that. I really did say some bad junk, and I think anyone in my shoes might step back and wonder (a few days later) ‘should I have really said some of that crap.’ I believe all that stuff that people call Catholic guilt, when people just beat themselves up mercilessly for doing something wrong – I don’t think that’s Catholicism properly understood. Catholicism is about forgiveness, repentance (in the original sense of changing one’s mind). That other shit, when people beat themselves up and say I’ve sinned, I’m a dirty sinner, I’m not worthy of God’s love or anybody’s love for that matter, that seems to me to be the work of the Devil (feel free to tune me out here, I’m saying some pretty unbelievable and definitely un-provable stuff).

I get some of my friends who refer to themselves as “recovering Catholics” mad at me when they talk about Catholic guilt and I say, “What is that? I don’t recognize that.” Maybe this is silly naïve ed talking, but I think any priest that plays the guilt card and constantly reminds their flock that they are fallen, isn’t worth a damn – and by the way all the good priests I know (and I’ve gotten to know many in recent years) do not teach that, or that is not the core of their teaching. Forget any realities that may or may not be associated with the church and just think of it from the point of view of telling a story. If you want to drive people away from doing the right thing, tell them they are crap, they are not worthy of love and they’ll quickly come to the conclusion, “Why should I give a fuck?”

Anyway, when I talk about things I do wrong or things that I am ashamed of (let’s not have the same conversation about the importance of overcoming my shame, save it for fucking Dr. Phil), when I write about this stuff here….

…I feel better.

Ahhh…

Thanks friends.