Last National Bank and Bust

Are financial luminaries being serious when they suggest that the best solution to our nation's financial woes is to form one really bad bank?

What is the goal here? We already have a lot of shitty banks. Is the Federal govt trying to prove that they can create a shittier bank than any in the private sector? Are they trying to create a bank so shitty that all the other banks will look shitty by comparison? More importantly, will Wolie-witless try hooking up with employees at this fiduciary crapshack the way he did at the World Bank?

ewwww...

Well if all that is left are absurdest answers to this fiscal chaos let me nominate myself to be the first president of Last National Bank and Bust.

I've even got a slogan: "Throwing good money after bad since 2009."

And when it comes to managing toxic assets, I'm your guy. Hell if I wash down some Home Run Inn pizza with a coupla cans of Old Style, my wife is on the phone with the lawyer, half-way to divorce court.

Maybe a better slogan would be: "Putting the douche in fiduciary since...well, since there's nothing left to invest."

And that's the way I see it America.

If there's anybody out on the intertubes who thinks this is all too serious for mild to moderately funny jokes and think this crisis should be met with sobriety and resolve I say it's just big piles of money that never existed in the first fucking place. Me, I'd rather listen to this song by Talk Talk

Or if you're too snooty for all that get yourself some Bix Beiderbecke and get offa my beiderback.