ECUBS

It should stand for Ed Can't Understand Baseball Strategy. I kept a low profile at work on Thursday and didn't want to pounce on the deflated/sad/sucks to be at work after drinking to a late night loss cub fans I work with. It's not necessarily because I am nice. Hey! I gotta work with these people.

No, I like my cub fan friends.

The only thing I said to them was 'The cubs will win games two and three because the back-to-back lefties will put a crimp in the bats of the D-bags'

Man, I am an idiot.

I think Devin said it best when he said, "So you really don't know anything about baseball do you ed?"

The D-Bags had no problem with Ted Lily. Every hitter seemed to have a plan and executed some great AB's.

EVEN FORMER CUB MINOR LEAGUE VETERAN AUGIE OJEDA!!!!!

I bet his dear old dad was proud of him.

The only cub last night who looked like they had a plan against Doug Davis was Soto. He waited that slow-ass pitching motherfucker out and jerked a two run homer over the left field fence. Everyone else, with the exception of Lee seemed lost at the dish last night.

Theriot swinging for the fences? Puh-lease. He is supposed to be smart. He is supposed to know who he is.

By the way, Doug Davis' motion towards the plate is so slow I think birds can land on him, preen their feathers and fly out of the stadium (when the roof is open) between his leg kick and release.

Doug Davis is who we thought he is....and we let him off the hook!

Who is this we? I'm not on the cubs.

Nor am I a cubs fan.

But I am a baseball fan and the cubs moving on in the playoffs is good for baseball. Nobody (but me and a few other dedicated nerds) are going to give a fig-flying fuck (?!?) for a Rockies/Diamondbacks NLCS.

And that's the way it is America.

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ok, it is later America and, unlike my cub fan friends at work - I AM HAVING A GREAT FUCKING DAY! Not because the cubs lost but because I am playing hooky from work.

You heard me right. Fuck work today.

I took a revenge vacation day. Maybe more on that later.

I don't hate my job mind you, but some personal/family things happened (nothing bad) that necessitated me moving my work schedule around on Friday. I thought 'Fuck all that noise and trouble, I'll just take the day. I've got the time coming any way. Hell with it'

Pulled into River Heights early and thought I'd have to sit in my car for a bit. There was a gentle morning rain. It was the kind of rain that looked like it wouldn't stay long.

What would DC say? "It was just spittin'..."

Then he would shoot the rain.

Lo and behold, as soon as I turned off my engine the sky-spit stopped, the clouds receded and a gentle wave of sunlight washed across the first fairway. It was almost as if God said to me: "Go ahead kid. You can play through."

What little water remained on the course was almost refreshing as my blade cut through it sprayed at my ankles keeping my feet nice and cool as the morning got hotter.

Twenty some holes later there were no birdies, but a respectable number of bogeys (again, bogeys are par to me) and one par.

With golf weather quickly going the way of the Canadian geese (presumably to Tennessee) it looks like I am destined to only have shot one bird this summer.

On the golf course...playing the game...not the stupid Canadian geese that litter River Heights...the Canadian geese are protected.

By NAFTA I think.

Stupid NAFTA.

The minute they allow the sunset clause to kick in on the 'no beating the fuck out of protected geese' part of the agreement, that's when I take out my driver and go through those geese like crap through a Hun.

Sorry Patton.

And PETA.

This may be my best post yet as I have managed to offend supporters of the Third Reich - General George C. Scott, er S. Patton - NAFTA and PETA all with the same unfunny joke.

Who says I ain't working today?