A DeKalb by Any Other Name
...is still gonna smell like garbage.
Our town is all atwitter (although I refuse to follow DeKalb's coming and goings on Twitter) about a proposal to expand our already impressive landfill. County Board members are being advised not to speak to their constituents until a final vote is taken on doubling or trebling the size of a landfill I can sort of see from my house.
Who is telling our County Board members to keep quiet? My sources indicate it's got to be either the Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files, or Oscar the Grouch. More on this developing story as it...uh, develops.
The bigger question might be, why would a shadowy figure (or muppet) tell our elected officials to keep quiet on an issue such as this? Are they afraid that we are planning to steal the new garbage? Of course this is a town where a needle exchange program is 'hey, I haven't spiked this one before so it's new to me'
Sorry DeKalb junkies
Pun almost intended
At any rate, I see landfill expansion as a foregone conclusion so I, for one, welcome trash from the greater midwestern region. I think it was Horace Greeley who once said, "Dump your rotten banana peels there young man."
As this is our Manitrash Destiny, DeKalb should consider adopting an appropriate nickname. Consider the following:
1. The Down-Windy City
2. Garbage Shoveler to the World
3. New Gary
Feel free to submit your own and celebrate (or mock) our fate, to taste.
Our town is all atwitter (although I refuse to follow DeKalb's coming and goings on Twitter) about a proposal to expand our already impressive landfill. County Board members are being advised not to speak to their constituents until a final vote is taken on doubling or trebling the size of a landfill I can sort of see from my house.
Who is telling our County Board members to keep quiet? My sources indicate it's got to be either the Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files, or Oscar the Grouch. More on this developing story as it...uh, develops.
The bigger question might be, why would a shadowy figure (or muppet) tell our elected officials to keep quiet on an issue such as this? Are they afraid that we are planning to steal the new garbage? Of course this is a town where a needle exchange program is 'hey, I haven't spiked this one before so it's new to me'
Sorry DeKalb junkies
Pun almost intended
At any rate, I see landfill expansion as a foregone conclusion so I, for one, welcome trash from the greater midwestern region. I think it was Horace Greeley who once said, "Dump your rotten banana peels there young man."
As this is our Manitrash Destiny, DeKalb should consider adopting an appropriate nickname. Consider the following:
1. The Down-Windy City
2. Garbage Shoveler to the World
3. New Gary
Feel free to submit your own and celebrate (or mock) our fate, to taste.
posted by edP | 10:29 AM
4 Comments:
What's interesting is that when you think of Geneva, you think of rich people and fancy restaurants, right? You don't consider that there's a gigantic, stinky landfill really close to the downtown area (and looming behind the Cougars backstop). In all seriousness, the smell was part of the reason why we moved.
Hey, those banana peels are compostable! Throw 'em in the rose bushes!
As for the nom de parfum, I nominate Stankburg.
You sure that smell wasn't me after the third brat at a Cougar game? And jeanz...I think we have a winner - - our little town is now know as Nom de Parfum
uh, I mean Stankburg
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