Brian Bemis Buggery

...in fact they give buggery a bad name, not quite as bad as Bon Jovi, but pretty damned bad.

Today Brian Bemis of Sycamore/DeKalb offered us a new low in shameless avarice and opportunism...even for a car dealership. Kim and I love our Rav4. Recently we noticed that it is difficult to put one of the middle seats in the down position and move it at the same time. Kim, the smart shopper in our family, is always leery of the dealership and rightfully so. I know they’ve tried to give us a royal dicking every other time we’ve reached out to them, but this thing with the seat seemed to be such an easy fix.

I won’t waste time with all the details of previous fuckery we've suffered at the hands of Brian Bemis of Sycamore/DeKalb I’ll limit myself to one example from right after we bought the car and then the shenanigans from today. We love our Rav4 (I’ve said that again, but it bears repeating since we are willing to give the damned fools at Brian Bemis of Sycamore/DeKalb multiple chances to perform their own brand of commercial buggery on us)...a few months after we bought our vehicle Kim backed over something and bent the bumper slightly. We heard a rattling noise after that. Since the car was new, I wanted to have it looked at by the folks who sold it to us so we took it to our friends at Brian Bemis of Sycamore/DeKalb. Actually it was Kim who took it in and when she did the first words out of the service station manager’s mouth was, “Lady what is your deductible? This could easily be over $800 because the part that is bent needs to be replaced and so does the assembly housing of the tailpipe.”

...and made up some other terms in the hopes of convincing Kim that we should hand over $800 to these cumswilling chumps. They were wrong. We took it to Illini Tire and the owner hit it a few times with a mallet, it looked stable and it didn’t make the rattling noise. It's driven great for all these years. I thanked our friend, we talked about golf and they charged us nothing.

At Brian Bemis Sycamore/DeKalb they probably could not figure out how to fix a bumper on one of their own vehicles for $800 and might not even be willing to talk about golf with me for less than $800 and the right to shove a nine iron up my already aching ass.

Now back to the not so pleasant present with these scoundrels at Brian Bemis of Sycamore/DeKalb. I guess I wanted to believe the staff at Brian Bemis Sycamore/DeKalb could do something right. They certainly could not handle our bumper/tailpipe issue (or two other times we came to them) for less than $800. It was my great hope that they developed enough skill and/or common sense to help us with this minor problem with our middle row seat, maybe find what jammed the track and be able to fix it between $50 and $100.

Kim dropped it off, they examined our beloved family car, called her and said the entire track and part of the seat had to be replaced, the cost would be $800 and the damage was caused by a child’s toy, a Connect Four piece. They blamed a child - OUR CHILD! What kind of shitbags blame children and then try to steal $800 from parents?

Oh, Brian Bemis of Sycamore/DeKalb are those kinds of shitbags.

What they didn’t count on is that we went back to pick the car up. We said “No you can’t have our $800” and when they said, “If you won’t let us steal your $800 you have to pay us $54” and we said, “Brian Bemis of Sycamore/DeKalb, we will pay your $54 just to keep you from impaling our keisters.”

Then Kim brought the car out to the parking lot, looked where the service manager said the Connect Four piece did $800 of damage and she gently pushed the chair back into the front part of the track and everything was in place. That was the bitch of the thing. They fixed the minor problem. They fixed it and did not count on us coming back without paying them the $800 for the privilege of pretending to fix our car and take it home.

When Kim realized what happened she said, “I am going to tell them that we know they fixed our car and that they were still trying to charge us $800.”

At this point I realized the futility of trying to impart any sort of moral learning on Brian Bemis of Sycamore/DeKalb. They aren’t interested in such stuff. Brian Bemis of Sycamore/DeKalb is only interested in trying to charge us $800 whenever the fuck they can.

I told my bride, “You don’t need to tell douchebags they are douchebags. They know they are douchebags. That’s what makes them douchebags.”

She went in there and all I saw was head moving and finger pointing and even some foot stomping. Maybe it helped, maybe it didn’t. I’m just glad we didn’t give those fools $800. They can take our check for $54 and choke on it.

So let’s review, Brian Bemis of Sycamore/DeKalb, bad fucking people doing bad fucking things.