This Could Be Heaven

I was a little pissed (Wed) because Dr. B did not tell us Alex would be having X-rays. Going to the dentist is traumatic enough…then that tongue displacement thingy wrecks (sp? Jeanz) havoc with the boy’s gag reflex. He wants to help too…breathes through his nose and everything. He doesn’t fight the dentist, it’s just that once the saliva starts welling up and that thing is in his cheek – he starts coughing. That’s why they call it a reflex. Got the X-rays, the checkup and the cleaning done - after all the crap early on, Alex still ended up giving his dentist a big hug.

His reward was going to be a rag ball hockey set. He played hockey w/ his friend Natalie earlier in the week and he loved it. Nat’s mom told Kim the hockey set was at MC Sports in D-Town. Alex and I stopped at MC Sports to pick up the sticks after the dentist. The salesperson told us that the hockey set in question was a seasonal item and they wouldn’t have anymore until next fall at the earliest.

Two bad surprises in a row: 1.) I couldn’t prepare Alex for the x-rays but he overcame that; 2.) The reward I promised him for doing well at the dentist wasn’t going to be available. How would he react? Alex looked over my shoulder and a large, thin smile spread across his face. What was he looking at? A SNOOPY 3 CLUB GOLF SET!!!!!

Alex: “I love watching you golf and I love Snoopy. Can we get that?”
Dad: “You betcha. Are you sure that’s what you want?
Alex: “Yep.”

I tried to hold it together and not jump up and down screaming w/ joy. I don’t care if my son becomes a good or even competent golfer, but it has been a secret dream of Daddy’s that the boy would want to go golfing with his old pop. Now, with no fucking prompting from me – the kid chose the clubs.

Alex: “Can I bring them to the Buena Vista with you?”
Dad: “You sure as hell can boy?”
Alex: “What daddy?”
Dad: “Uh, you sure can boy.”

We brought the clubs home and practiced for an hour in the yard. Alex got up early on Thursday and the first words out of his mouth were: “Good morning golf clubs.”

We practiced for another hour on Thursday – in the fucking snow. Dad doesn’t care. This could be heaven.

Being a dad and the primary caregiver for a good part of the year has been the greatest challenge of my life. I haven’t always met the bell with the right answers or approach. But being a parent, through the hard work and even some failures has changed me. I’m experiencing my usual manic energy in the middle of making a record and making life a little difficult for my collaborators. In the past, when this shit would come up, I’d move into a really dark place. After the little golf episode, all the frustration and hard feelings from early in the week are forgotten. A good day with the kid makes my little troubles evaporate.

This could be heaven.