His First Day Off In Forever
My favorite lyrics from the Chillout Tent? - -
“Their mouths were fizzy (busy?)
With the cherry soda
They had the privacy of bed sheets
And all the other kids were mostly in comas”
…ok, probably not the exact lyrics. Remembering lyrics is NOT an exact science.
Ok maybe it is but I don’t give a fuck.
Today really was my first fucking day off in forever. Kim and I had a meeting with Alex’s teacher, the OT, the speech lady and case manager this morning but that went well. He’s a great kid and he’s on track for first grade. The OT help is really all we are going to have to pursue. It helped that Kim got a script from the doc for the motor delay but other than that everyone was accommodating and answered my swimming pool full of questions.
After the meeting I drove past the River Heights Golf Course and rolled down my window. The words “Aw hell yeah” came out of my mouth. I pulled in, the clubhouse was closed but I talked to the maintenance guy. He said even though I’m not a resident I could play. He told me to just walk on if I am planning on getting another PD pass this summer. The grass was relatively dry and the course was in great shape, minus a few swampy traps.
I hopped in the tee box and with minimal warm up I shot a legitimate 6 on the first hole. Ok, it was a par 4 but double bogie is par to me. Later I put two balls in the river, but not on the same hole. I did not take the driver out of the bag. Believe me, that is a good thing. I benefited because the high grass, the fake heather has not come back to the lovely River Heights. I’ll take whatever help nature gives me.
Taking off on Wed has benefits for the whole week. Tuesday becomes your first Friday, the rest of the week is two days, one of those being the real Friday.
Broke my no Dan Patrick vow but only because I heard Rick Reilly on the show. Riles (I am not his friend but I just like saying Riles)….Riles is one of the funniest sports guys in the world. Sure, he can be mean and nasty but nobody can tell a Jon-Daly-peeing-in-a-Burger King cup story like Rick Reilly. And of course he is responsible for this:
http://www.nothingbutnets.net/
DP and RR were talking about Jim Nance having the perfect voice for delivering a eulogy. Then they listed other more entertaining sports personalities doing eulogies. Even though they both gave their version of a Dickie V speech, in honor of the NCAA Tournament, here’s my take.
Dick Vitale Speaking at the Funeral of edP
“He was totally awesome baby! Sure at the end he was a Diaper Dandy…Colostomy Bag Dandy…Droppin’ bricks in his pants…Building a new arena…He was a Cardiac Kid, too much horseradish on that sucker! Dipsy-doo, dead-a-roo!”
OK, just promise me you will all laugh at my real funeral.
“Their mouths were fizzy (busy?)
With the cherry soda
They had the privacy of bed sheets
And all the other kids were mostly in comas”
…ok, probably not the exact lyrics. Remembering lyrics is NOT an exact science.
Ok maybe it is but I don’t give a fuck.
Today really was my first fucking day off in forever. Kim and I had a meeting with Alex’s teacher, the OT, the speech lady and case manager this morning but that went well. He’s a great kid and he’s on track for first grade. The OT help is really all we are going to have to pursue. It helped that Kim got a script from the doc for the motor delay but other than that everyone was accommodating and answered my swimming pool full of questions.
After the meeting I drove past the River Heights Golf Course and rolled down my window. The words “Aw hell yeah” came out of my mouth. I pulled in, the clubhouse was closed but I talked to the maintenance guy. He said even though I’m not a resident I could play. He told me to just walk on if I am planning on getting another PD pass this summer. The grass was relatively dry and the course was in great shape, minus a few swampy traps.
I hopped in the tee box and with minimal warm up I shot a legitimate 6 on the first hole. Ok, it was a par 4 but double bogie is par to me. Later I put two balls in the river, but not on the same hole. I did not take the driver out of the bag. Believe me, that is a good thing. I benefited because the high grass, the fake heather has not come back to the lovely River Heights. I’ll take whatever help nature gives me.
Taking off on Wed has benefits for the whole week. Tuesday becomes your first Friday, the rest of the week is two days, one of those being the real Friday.
Broke my no Dan Patrick vow but only because I heard Rick Reilly on the show. Riles (I am not his friend but I just like saying Riles)….Riles is one of the funniest sports guys in the world. Sure, he can be mean and nasty but nobody can tell a Jon-Daly-peeing-in-a-Burger King cup story like Rick Reilly. And of course he is responsible for this:
http://www.nothingbutnets.net/
DP and RR were talking about Jim Nance having the perfect voice for delivering a eulogy. Then they listed other more entertaining sports personalities doing eulogies. Even though they both gave their version of a Dickie V speech, in honor of the NCAA Tournament, here’s my take.
Dick Vitale Speaking at the Funeral of edP
“He was totally awesome baby! Sure at the end he was a Diaper Dandy…Colostomy Bag Dandy…Droppin’ bricks in his pants…Building a new arena…He was a Cardiac Kid, too much horseradish on that sucker! Dipsy-doo, dead-a-roo!”
OK, just promise me you will all laugh at my real funeral.
posted by edP | 12:10 PM
18 Comments:
You just wrote your own eulogy!
That was pretty fucking funny.
Oh yea and we have found our 5th starter, Samardzija!!
Nice! Golf is good.
that's funny as shit...
Meat Head-he will start soon, but not yet..he will be good
ed-you never looked at my 3b all-time not hof. what gives?
Dude for some reason it didn't let me post. I thought it was interesting that you and the Sultan (both fine baseball men in your own rihgt) switched Brett and Schmidt...every once in awhile with my new google settings I can't post on the blogs of others. The internet is getting wise to me my friend.
Regading your list of deserving 3rd B greats not in the Hall of Fame...you get the full respect as a cub fan who knows his baseball history - I can't debate the numbers of a Stan Hack vs. an Al Rosen vs. a Ron Santo...what I do know is I'm glad I threw the question out there to people who know more about the statistical history of the game than I do...I have learned something.
I'm also going to try to copy this in your friggin comments field to see if it works. Have you set your blog to block Spam and edPs?
Vital Vitale!
Totaly off topic but this one of the only places I have to talk about this.
Rose has lost his damn mind. Seriously if he has any friends in life, baseball or where ever. Some one please tell this guy to shut the fuck up. Holy shit he must be the most arrogant SOB on the planet.
I one sentence says he bet on his team every night and in the other saying he hopes to manage again! What the fuck is he smoking give me some!
You guys are killing me not talking about this Rose thing. I listen to the Dan Patrick interview.
Holy cow the guy needs to be in the HOF of morons!
Who's in your final four?
MeatHead...I heard the interview too. Some may say that as more fuckery from today's stars comes out, what Pete Rose did will seem less bad - but saying he bet on every Red's game and thinking that it is something that works in his favor...
THAT IS TOTALLY INSANE!
Pete Rose may be one of the greatest players I have seen in my lifetime but he needs to go away with this shit. He embarasses himself and the game...one of his other "arguements" yesterday was that he is a great ambassador for the game because he is always defending Bonds, Mac & Sosa...
AGAIN, TOTALLY INSANE, the reasoning portion of his brain must've been damaged after the Fosse collision.
What can one say about Pete Rose. I prefer to think of him as the player who had that incredible hitting streak. I seem to remember him getting the all times hits record too (in Montreal?)...or was he with Montreal when he joined the 4,000 hit club with one other prick?!?!?
You know, the more I think about this even the scum factor of Pete Rose sort of adds to his legend. I would not consider myself a fan of him or the story...
So that's probably why I didn't have that much to add and my only reaction was "What an idiot, he actually thinks he will score points with baseball or the public because he admitted to betteing on the Reds every day."
Grant - here we go, my very conservative picks: Florida comes out of the St. Louis Regional, UCLA coming out of San Jose, Georgetown from East Rutherford and Ohio State from San Antonio...
Finals a remnatch of the Football National Championship with the opposite team winning the NCAA Tournament.
That's right, I managed to go "oppo" with my brackets.
It all comes back to baseball.
hetied the record at wrigley while playing for the expos and broke against eric show (?) of the padres. it was a little looping liner to left field off his bat.
He is totally insane. Way back then i used to work illegally at a sports memorabilia store (the guy now heads up christies auctions for sports stuff) and the owner had all bought all of the stuff that rose wore and used in the game he tied. he never told me what he paid rose, but he did remark that Rose had said, "I want to be the ricjest pro player of all time"! that blew my mind. he was in it for the money at that point. that store was something and i saw some great stuff come through there.
Rose=Twatbag
One thing Santi isn't telling you about Pete Rose and the record...he got all 4,189 hits to tie Ty in one game against the Cubs.
I'm gonna get my shit slapped if the Cubs come screaming out of the gates this year aren't I...
you bastard!
Hahaha and yes you will get one hell of a smack down if the Cubs come on strong. Doubt it will happen but... you never know I could win the lottery tomorrow.
The more I think about it the more I think Rose is like Tyson. That's right Iron Mike. In life a one trick pony. Once that one trick is done they just go total insane.
I think that Rose is such and aggrogant SOB that he has friends telling him to shut the fuck up but he knows best.
I think he was one hell of a baseball player, one of if not thee best to ever play. His only downfall is he might also be one of the stupidest people on the planet.
Maybe he is what people talk about when they say idiot savant?
HOLY SHIT GUYS - I ACTUALLY PICKED THE FINAL FOUR. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I'VE EVER PICKED THE FINAL FOUR BEFORE THE TOURNEY EVER STARTED - THE END IS NEAR!
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