Messy
I may end up nuking this entry because it involves some private business. I have to write about this here because I no longer have my journal. It hurts too much to keep it inside. One of Alex’s friends moved away today. We didn’t think he would be leaving until after Thanksgiving. Circumstances are now such that the best thing was for the fella to go now. The boys had their last night of hanging out on Tuesday.
This kid was part of this little crew that’s always coming around my place – raising some hell, making a big old mess, causing me to spend too much time out on the trampoline or playing baseball, drinking chocolate milk shakes, watching King Kong and the like. There are a lot of days that I come home and the house can be pretty chaotic. That’s not the right word. Kim wants our house to be the fun house for kids. I think she has been successful.
Kim wants to (what’s the U2 song?) throw her arms around the world.
Not like Matt Leinart’s slut of a wife mind you…
The kid that’s moving away is twice Alex’s age. He is almost always patient and kind with the younger ones. Alex was so happy when we took his pal with us to the movies to see the baseball flick by the paralyzed dead guy.
Ok I guess all dead guys are, by definition not moving.
That does not include zombies since they are technically undead.
Alex’s friend has a mom that is a teacher’s aide. She tries her best but is a single mom with health problems on top of everything else. Everybody thinks it’s best that this guy moves out to MT with his grandparents. It may be the best thing, but my wife is heartbroken. We can only imagine how the kid and his family feel.
You know, as much as I complain sometimes about kids tearing ass all over my house after I get home from my second fucking job – I miss the kid too.
Sometimes I think the Epicureans got it right. The world is painful on a variety of levels and happiness, or the best possible existence requires separating yourself from the muck and the heartbreak of the world as much as possible. Enjoy what you can and that’s it.
I can’t be like that and neither can my family. Life is messy. We are the lucky ones. We (Kim, Alex and I) have each other and we always will barring some big tragedy. I guess the point is, we have each other for now and we better enjoy that. Part of enjoying that is sharing whatever fun that is in our house. We do that now and we can’t stop doing that.
Funny, we think we are the ones who are helping out and showing other kids a good time. But they can and do share with us. Alex’s friend showed great capacity to share what he had with my son. When Kim dropped him off last night he gave Alex a light saber he decided not to pack. He said: “Here Alex, you can give this to me when you see me again.”
Godspeed Z.
This kid was part of this little crew that’s always coming around my place – raising some hell, making a big old mess, causing me to spend too much time out on the trampoline or playing baseball, drinking chocolate milk shakes, watching King Kong and the like. There are a lot of days that I come home and the house can be pretty chaotic. That’s not the right word. Kim wants our house to be the fun house for kids. I think she has been successful.
Kim wants to (what’s the U2 song?) throw her arms around the world.
Not like Matt Leinart’s slut of a wife mind you…
The kid that’s moving away is twice Alex’s age. He is almost always patient and kind with the younger ones. Alex was so happy when we took his pal with us to the movies to see the baseball flick by the paralyzed dead guy.
Ok I guess all dead guys are, by definition not moving.
That does not include zombies since they are technically undead.
Alex’s friend has a mom that is a teacher’s aide. She tries her best but is a single mom with health problems on top of everything else. Everybody thinks it’s best that this guy moves out to MT with his grandparents. It may be the best thing, but my wife is heartbroken. We can only imagine how the kid and his family feel.
You know, as much as I complain sometimes about kids tearing ass all over my house after I get home from my second fucking job – I miss the kid too.
Sometimes I think the Epicureans got it right. The world is painful on a variety of levels and happiness, or the best possible existence requires separating yourself from the muck and the heartbreak of the world as much as possible. Enjoy what you can and that’s it.
I can’t be like that and neither can my family. Life is messy. We are the lucky ones. We (Kim, Alex and I) have each other and we always will barring some big tragedy. I guess the point is, we have each other for now and we better enjoy that. Part of enjoying that is sharing whatever fun that is in our house. We do that now and we can’t stop doing that.
Funny, we think we are the ones who are helping out and showing other kids a good time. But they can and do share with us. Alex’s friend showed great capacity to share what he had with my son. When Kim dropped him off last night he gave Alex a light saber he decided not to pack. He said: “Here Alex, you can give this to me when you see me again.”
Godspeed Z.
posted by edP | 8:59 PM
6 Comments:
What a sad post, Ed.
I feel for Alex, his little friend and his mom. You're right, of course: "We are the lucky ones. We (Kim, Alex and I) have each other and we always will barring some big tragedy."
The important thing, I think, is to see this and acknowlege it NOW, as you have.
Rather then, "Oh, I was so happy/blessed THEN! If only I'd known."
That reminds me of a line from "Palindromes:"
Teenage Boy: "I was so happy then and I didn't even know it."
Teenage Girl/Aviva: "Myabe you're happy now and you just don't know it."
That is brilliant Ms. Queenie!
Not to diminish the gravity of the story but there are some silver linings here -
1. The kid has somewhere to go and it's with family.
2. The kid sounds like a good kid - he'll make new friends wherever he goes.
3. He's undoubtedly etched in Alex's mind - I'm sure the reverse is true. This leaves lots of possibility for an interesting reunion down the road.
4. MT is far away from strip malls and bullshit. The kid might learn something about nature, survival, etc. that the rest of us could use.
5. You ARE lucky to have Kim and Alex. (And your friends.)
Ya know, it's nice that you try and find the nice side of things but sometimes I think you are just supposed to feel sad. It's a part of life. Don't feel bad if you want to feel bad. Just don't feel bad for being happy. Does that make sense?
Anyways, you and Alex should go out and throw the football around and jump in the leaf pile for a while tonight and everything will be just fine.
I wouldn't mind going to MT.
I think I know what MT is.
I'm a Stoic Epicurean.
No, I'm not. But I think I'd like to be.
We're still pissed at the woman across the street for getting divorced and screwing up Katie having a best friend across the street her exact age.
I sort of feel it was a good ecosystem which Katie's friend's mom did not have the right to fuck with because she got on prozac lost weight and thought she owed herself some romantic intrigue.
But it's fucked, and Katie feels lonely now. It's occasional play dates at some depressing condo downtown.
How different from the situation you describe where it's all about the kids.
Sorry, I'm actually pretty politically feminist etc, I hope I don't sound like a turd about this -- but we had a nice neighborhood ecosystem, Katie had a friend she ran around with after school and "explored" the woods behind our house, and now it's all play dates and condos because the Mom wanted to be a sex object again.
Blah. I don't go in for that shit. I'd love to be a screenwriter or rock star, or folkie, or be dating mid-20s girls in their cute city apartments on the side. I don't pursue any of that shit in any way that would fuck up what's really important to me, my wife, my kids, my family, and frankly even the balance of the neighborhood.
Sorry for the rant. It's sad to hear about this thing you write about where it's inevitable, but it makes me more upset about the things that aren't.
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