Sexy News

Some sports hits to get out of my system…real news has actually been more exciting and I am slowly freeing myself from my addiction to stupid sports radio…

But, I’m dying to know what Rex Grossman said after throwing that winning TD pass against the Viqueens earlier in the season.
Darrin Sharper said, I believe, it was the most X-Rated thing he’d ever heard.

He’s a Minnesota Viking for cripes sake!!!

Was he left off the voyage of the Smoot Boat?

One point on Bonds and the Hall of Fame…

Here is some bullshit logic: “Well he was a hall of famer in 1998 before he started cheating so he should get voted in.”

What?

Shoeless Joe Jackson was a hall of famer before he was implicated with a group plotting to throw the World Series.

Pete Rose was a hall of famer before he bet on baseball.

John Wayne Gacy was an innocent citizen before he started committing horrific crimes.

Hall of Fame voters should turn to the State of Illinois if they want to understand how to deal with corruption.

Former Gov Thompson has amassed a legal defense fighting to secure some of the pension of retired/jailed George Ryan. The argument was that Ryan served the state for many years before he became Sec of State and Gov and lapped up every drop of goose grease from the plate of the state licensing…

…he (or his wife) should receive some of his pension, for his years of service before he became a guy in a trench coat going “Hey, you wanna buy a license?”

The response?

Sorry. Ryan’s employer the whole time, Sec State years, Gov years – was always the state of Illinois. Once he betrayed that trust he forfeits the pension. That’s that.

Enough of this steroid talk.

Real news has been so sexy – a former Russian spy was killed with POLONIUM!

How’s that for irony pie?

Say It Ain't Joe

I may chime in on this ridiculous notion of benching Rex at some point. For now, those considering sitting this Bears quarterback, I have two words for you:

Bob Avellini.

By the way the wiki article on BO, er, BA is fantastic…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Avellini

Right now I’ve got bigger fish to fry in the sporting world. Although Alex is a Tigers fan, his favorite player of all time – REALLY ALL TIME!..is Joe Crede. How can I prepare this precious 5 year old for the inevitable trade that will send his favorite player, his favorite 3rd baseman, his favorite #24 to another team?

He watches the World Series DVD segment on Crede’s run saving plays at 3rd in the playoffs and WS. He dives on the floor and imitates every catch.

This is not A-Ram (who hasn’t done anything yet – he might this year), or my favorite 3rd baseman growing up, Eric friggin’ Soderholn. He’s so lame I don’t think I can even spell his name.

This is World Series Champion Joe Crede. This is a guy who the organization groomed and became really good at the right time and he looks like a cool third baseman…

And Joe Crede provided Alex with that WOW baseball moment when he hit the Grand Slam last summer to tie the game with the Astros in a midseason World Series rematch.

Ok, midseason World Series rematch doesn’t sound old school…

,butt fuck old school!

Baseball is so cool that it doesn’t have to be old school.

Old school is old school and we dredge it up to pretend we are something that we can no longer be.

Baseball deserves better.

Baseball is better.

It is a human thing, but with a touch of the eternal sprinkled over it.

Nothing happens, nothing happens….your team is down four and struggling at the dish all afternoon

…a hot afternoon like so many in the middle of the season…

suddenly in the late innings you get a gork single, a walk, a hit batsman and…

MAGIC!

It is the moment that makes a baseball fan. Mine was the Fisk home run against the Reds that led to another inevitable World Series ending for the other Sox. I didn’t get to see it live but that’s when I knew baseball was dull like everyday life can be and all of a sudden you can be swept up in emotion that leaves your endorphins gasping for breath.

That is drama to me. You never see it coming. I’ve had some limited action and adventure in my life but what most people call “drama” I call boring.

A bad relationship, heading for a break up…you know where it’s going just let it get there.

Friends who change, drift apart *yawn

Somebody once asked me to explain the drama between the girlfriends of friends of mine. They thought I knew the skinny whatever.

I am the guy who thinks drama is so fucking fucking boring.

By the way, what is more exciting than the drama is the possibility of healing.

I have people I’d like to patch things up with, people I’ve done wrong…doing so and getting to a normal (some say) boring, even-keeled relationship with them – that would be exciting to me.

Forgiveness. That is wondrous. See ChrisB’s post about the Amish.

If you can heal these pains, that’s real magic or a real miracle and more important than baseball moments.

But we were talking about:

Drama = Boring

,and the beauty of the moment that makes you a baseball fan.

a-hem, I divest.

Anyway, Alex had that moment with Joe Crede. He had that moment in person. I saw the boy’s eyes get wide as garbage can lids. I felt his little arms wrap around my neck and pull my head down to his level. I saw him thrust his hands together and scream “Joe! Joe! Joe!” when Crede accepted his curtain call.

We talked about it the whole way home from the Hyde (after he woke up). He crashed on the way to take Miss E back.

We talked about it all the way to the Hillsdale Oasis where we ate Micky Deez and sat next to the window over the toll way.

We talked about it all the way back to DeKalb and until bedtime.

We still talk about it.

He’s modeled his batting stance after Joe Crede.

Incidentally, you can tell that somewhere in Bill Garver’s childhood he had that moment with Rick Monday.

NOT THAT YOU SICK BASTARDS!

We convinced Bill to play whiffle-ball at one of the Squirrel’s cookouts and I swear, he got down and into the Monday crouch-thing. Maybe there was a little Pete Rose in there, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

I’ve got to tell Alex that Joe Crede, the guy who made his baseball moment, his Joe Crede, the one who “hit the glam slam for me”…

….might be traded for a guy named Chone.

Dreams and War

I had a bunch of things I was going to say about the motivation behind the potential conscription debate in the House. There are some who would argue that Americans are not sharing the burden of the war in Iroc. I can see part of that.

There is a side to the rhetoric that wants to make those “responsible” for the war feel the pain of war the way the disenfranchised do. This is a fine thing.

Maybe Charlie Rangle and his crowd think that people who have no choice are forced to do two and three and sometimes more tours of duty to pursue what might be the policy and policy failure of a small group of men.

But if they are serious about conscription they enlarge the group of people fighting and dying with no choice…aren’t there people like me and the sons (and possibly daughters) of people like me who will be included in the no exemptions draft? What choice do I and people of my ilk have in pursuing adventures in Iraqisitting?

Fucking fucking none.

Is Charlie Rangle insinuating that the middle class is somehow standing at the sidelines, half-cheering for the war but will change its tune once there is a debate over a draft?

I voted against the war in what I consider to be a meaningful way in 2004. I’m here blasting away at cocksuckers who I think may have lied to the American people to get their war, and a defense secretary that brought shame to the army.

If the debate over conscription was anything more than an excuse to make another point, the reality would be – a larger group of Americans subjected to the whims of a few. Maybe Rep (and soon to be Chair of the House Ways and Means) Rangle thinks that is fair. I think it’s a bottle of piss and I’d like to open it under the noses of the conscription debaters and make ‘em take a good whiff.

We all know that the debate over conscription is an excuse to make another point.

That may be as reprehensible as the notion that me and douche bags like me need to be subjected to the wars and international/social morality of Charlie Rangle, George Bush or any of those guys.

But we know Rep Rangle and others would not seriously bring conscription to a vote. Now rem the Dems and opponents of g bushy have screamed to high heaven that the g bushy crew has played politics and made distractions when there is a war going on

AND SHAME ON THEM FOR THAT

But really, if this debate takes place, shame on those D’s wasting time w/ subterfuge in Congress when America is at war.

I was going to go on and on but we were all mercifully saved by a horrible dream I had last night.

I dreamt that I was drafted, that I had to go to Iraq. I knew what my job was going to be, and even though it involved some shooting I had the feeling that it wasn’t going to be too dangerous…

Or I wasn’t afraid of the combat.

What scared the living hell out of me was the fact that the government official who contacted me said I would have to be gone for two years without any chance of coming back stateside.

In two years my son will be 7.

Right now he is enjoying his first loose tooth.

By the time of my planned return in the dream he will have made his First Holy Communion and will have lost a bunch of teeth.

No jokes about hard, undercooked wafers please.

What can dreams like this tell us?

I believe mine told me to remember those who are sacrificing all. Regardless of the ineptitude and worse on behalf of the civilian leadership, what is really important?

I don’t have any suggestions on how to get anyone home. I can sit here and say the US Army is really good at nation smashing, but lousy at nation building. But what is that worth to the guy who is really there and who is really missing his kid growing up?

I am going to put aside my anger at Charlie Rangle and others wrangling for a debate over instituting the draft. I actually like the Rep from NY’s 15th District. I find him charming and his passion for those he believes to be “his constituency” to be admirable.

Maybe I will temper my response to friends like ChrisB when they suggest that war does not have to be the permanent condition of man…or give my pompous – ‘There has always been and will always bee war and injustice that is the way of men’….

I shouldn’t throw away lines like that.

I shouldn’t just say ‘perfection is not for us in this world’ and go on about my business.

I should pray that the ways of God can be the ways of men.

I should pray that God in his mercy can help bring those moms and dads, sons, daughters, brothers and sisters, friends, and even the gun nuts from the local firing range/bar – pray that they all come home from Iraq and that somehow peace, mercy and forgiveness become part of the ways of men.

Amen.

AKYNot

I just heard a fantastic interview with the guy who wrote the new AK-47 book. The author seems to have this useful, detached view of the weapon, it’s importance, what it did/continues to do for warfare and it’s more sordid cultural impact in the West.

Apparently Mikhail Kalashnikov is planning to market a new vodka.

I think we all know what to get DC Liar for Christmas.

Leftovers

Before I say anything else – Charlie Rangle can you please take your planned conscription debate and shove it so far up your asshole that we never hear of it again?

Thank you.

You and your friends were not elected to do that.

Having gotten that bit o bile out of my craw…

Not craw, CRAW!

Let me say that I had a swell holiday. There is no doubt I am an over-privileged fuck and have no right to live the life I do. My biggest problem Thursday nite to Friday morning?

I ate so much that I vomited twice.

Yeah modern life is so fucking hard.

If it is hard, if we complain, it is only because we are so soft.

Played a good bigDrag show on Friday. My stomach hurt a bit from barfing the night before but it didn’t seem to affect my mood once we started playing.

Even before that – seeing all sorts of pallies and Steener and OD’s family members coming out for the rock. Mark and Jeanz! All the hhe folks…It was very sweet. There was no way I was going to play a half assed rock show with all these nice people in attendance.

Not that I ever play half-assed rock shows…if there is one thing that I have consistently used my whole ass for…it is the rock.

Ok, two things…

I won’t post the set list here. Ladi Di posted it on the bigDrag mySpace page. The link will be coming soon on the side of this blog. I know I’ve been saying that for several months, but I can keep saying it can’t I?

I’ve got to say that looking over the past year of rock…I know I have a rather small n, but these have been some of the best shows I’ve ever been involved with, played whatever…

That includes the floating Basement shows even though those were transcendent gigs (or most people thought they had ended up on a different planet at some point during the evening.

Really from the Phyllis’ gig (which I know was a looong time ago) to the Plainfield party, to last night – these have been three pretty triumphant shows. At least no one can say we don’t know what the fuck we are doing. We clearly do, or it feels like we do.

Were there a few troubling moments? Sure.

My vocals on Understandable were scary. It is clear that I did not hear how shaky they were at practice, and when you have a better sound system in front of you…look out.

But even that little roadblock – the band more than made up for it with the huge ending. My sense was that the audience really liked the new material and that makes me happy. I actually think as we do this more, get older whatever, we are more confident as rock and rollers. I didn’t feel very old last night, and despite being a little sore from moving the gear – I don’t feel old today.

I think this whole ‘I feel old’ is a bullshit excuse…a least when you’re still in your 30’s. Who knows how it’ll be when I’m in my 40’s?

But I’m looking forward to finding out.

Thanksgiving Prayer Final Edit

Merciful God,

We ask for your blessing on this day of prayer and Thanksgiving.

We give thanks for that which we have already received in this year.

We thank you for the years and the holidays we had with our beloved Leet.

Although we miss her at this table we are grateful for the gift she was to all who knew her.

We are thankful that the hospice service helped her make it safely and gently home to you.

We thank you for the gentle soul who cared for your son, my uncle.

We pray that he is in your care now.

You have blessed us with the Newman Center priests and we thank you for Mssgr Nelson, Fr.’s Hart and Godwin.

May their wisdom continue to bring us closer to you.

Thank you for all the charitable workers in our community.

We give thanks for all those who serve our country – in both military and civilian offices.

Please guide them and give them some share of your wisdom.

You have blessed our son Alex with wonderful teachers especially DB and KP.

Finally thanks for the family you have gathered at this table.

This can be the best time in life, as we hold you close in our hearts – bind this family together and make it a sign of your love.

In your son Jesus Christ’s Holy Name we pray - Amen.

Legally Eliminated

edP = 1
Voodoo Bullshit Consultants = 0

The company shitcanned our no-idea-having, green-fuzzy-ball-wearing, sea-bass-face- looking consultant yesterday. The official memo was priceless and I dare not say more about it since the whole reason I got mildly worked up about the consultant in the first place was out of loyalty to the big guy who built the business.

I will address at least one of the thoughtful commentators from the other day. Khyle asked me why I defended (even pitied) the guy and why I wasn’t pissed about the whole stupid situation. There are really two answers to this question.

Answer the First: They do not pay me enough to get angry about my job. One of the things I love about my new full time gig is that I get paid to help people that really need my help, need someone to be honest with them, give them straight, no BS options – here’s what I can do, here’s what you have to pay if you want this thing fixed…and not jerk them around to suck every last cent out of them. And when my day is over, I leave it all behind, go to church, go to practice, play with my kid, chill with my wife, write, work on the dis…do whatever I need to do without work looming. Quite frankly, even if they paid me a lot of money I don’t think I could ever be passionate enough about a fucking job to get really angry. Anybody who knows me knows that I have passion, opinions, blah blah blah – and I save them for things that matter. I will do a good job, I am not a slacker…but I’ll be damned if I ever give myself a heart attack or even a minor heart ripple over a job. I did that…got really stressed out when I started as a teacher and quickly came to the conclusion FUCK THIS NOISE…if I wanted stress I’d be a burglar or a politician. Then the payoff is considerably bigger.

There is a reason they call it work. You’ve got to eat. What did Michael Nesmith say? “You can’t live in a parking lot, it gets cold and rainy out there.” Work is something you have to do. How you do it, what it takes from you those things are up to you. If you’re not in control of that then you’ve got big problems.

Again, unless you’re trying to rule the world. You take your chances with burnout when global domination is your objective.

By the way, I am not so hubristic as to think that this is easy. I still get stressed out about certain time and appearance things at work…things that I need to overcome to be a happier person or less moody one in general. The point is, I am pretty good at not worrying my pretty little head over things where I have no control.

Answer the Second: I really did feel sorry for him, pity him whatever. Not because he cuts a figure of pity but rather because of his spouse he was forced to deal with a BS situation. Not everyone married as well as I did. Do I get pissed off at my wife? Yeah. Do we fight? Hell yeah, we have some doozies. But I married well in that my wife never embarrasses me. I am proud of her, her thoughts, opinions and contributions to our life together. It is sad that someone as successful and worthy as the person I am talking about doesn’t seem to have that – or at least this was one big situation where someone who is supposed to help you puts you in the position of having to put out a fire. What a drag. What a waste of precious time.

I believe he is worthy of my loyalty (in whatever limited capacity) because after the training was half done (and maybe all paid for – I dunno)…when he heard the kind of mumbo jumbo bullshit the consultant was peddling – he fired her ass and issued an official memo which was part explanation and part apology for wasting our fucking time. How can I not respect that? Should he have hired her in the first place? Probably not. I wouldn’t’ve…but shit everybody makes mistakes right? It’s what we do in the wake of them that really counts.

I might sound like a big stupid prick…but I sort of knew things would turn out this way. Maybe I felt all along the boss would realize this was horseshit. You wouldn’t know it from looking at the property I own, but things have a way of working out for me and I sort of assumed this would too.

I do sound like a big stupid prick.

Anyway, mediocre to bad bigDrag practice last night so I feel pretty good about the Black Friday gig. Too bad we couldn’t play at a mall. There’d be a big ass crowd fer sure.

Another gig just came down the pike. Rock legend Buzz and his Electric Whiskey Rodeo want us to open for them at a biker bar. More information as it becomes available (tras. as I remember it…I was sort of half paying attention when the Old Dog told me about this potential gig). I love Buzz and will someday devote a series of entries to my favorite Buzz/Moss and Moss crowd stories. I believe I was the only person who attended every Moss show (and that includes Buzz because I’m sure that guy was AWOL for a few of them).

Buzz, ever the eloquent and persuasive orator promised us: “A hundred bucks, free beer and pussy.”

I better remind my wife to bring her inhaler as she is allergic to cats.

Reason 8957

…why I married the best girl in the world. She was doing some online shopping last night for Christmas presents. I was listening to WILT Fall 2006…which is quickly closing in on Paradigm Lost at the top of my list of favorite mix tapes. Los Angeles Is Burning came on and Kimberly Jo said: “Ok, this song fucking rocks.”

Good grrrl.

Fun day on Saturday. Alex & I chilled with Grandpa edP while Kim went underwear shopping with my mom. Maybe that’s all I should say about this.

More later.

One last bit of unsolicited advice to the incoming House leadership. When making your speeches in January, consider inserting words like these:

"Solutions to problems cannot be found in a pool of bitterness. They can be found in an environment in which we trust one another's word; where we generate heat and passion, but where we recognize that each member is equally important to our overall mission of improving the life of the American people."

When 900 Years You Reach

look this good you will not.

To Post or Not to Post

bigDrag practice on Monday.

Rock show at Otto’s the Friday after Thanksgiving. Come one come all. Chris and I may have a little advertisement cooked up for the my space friends. We all need a place for friends.

There will be new material. Repeat! There will be new material.

This is not a drill.

If I could ask a consultant one question, that question would be:

Would you hire a consultant?

That is exactly what the world has needed…entire firms dedicated to sophistry.

Sure, I guess every business consults with consumers on some thing or other.

Any sophist worth their salt (and that’s about all they are worth) can make that argument.

Plato’s Socrates won me over the moment he showed me why the city COULDN’T listen to the philosopher. Maybe that’s my prejudice coming out. I want to embrace teachings associated with someone who understands where and in what way they are useless.

This blast at consultants may sound like frustration with my job. We are currently employing a foppish bag of useless organs who claims to be teaching us how to talk. I’m not insulted by this. I don’t even care that it is a waste of my time. Usually I am quite selfish about that. I want to waste my own time; nobody knows how to do it like me.

I’m not frustrated about any of these things.

To be honest, and I have no reason not to be, I feel protective of the guy who owns the company. I don’t know if he’s a great man, but for some reason he elicits loyalty from me. The guy who owns my company is a good guy, and I think this person he hired is taking him for a ride ride.

That makes me angry. I guess it is his company, his money, his ride blah, blah, blah…

I have a low level awareness of con jobs, even an appreciation for them if they are done right. There is something to the old adage that if you convince the sucker to give you the money, in some ways the sucker will be better off in the long run. They will at least learn that the world is nastier than they originally thought. What did Keith Richards say?

“I never worried about who took what from who, I consider it all the price of an education”

Then he laughed that raspy laugh and smoke came out of his ears and butt.

This is different.

The guy who owns the company should be smarter than this. He’s got a handicap in that his wife picked this consultant and I’m sure she is the one who ramrodded this damned thing through and up all of our asses.

I’m probably making a bigger deal out of this than it is. Plus, by posting this I am engaging in some contradictory behavior (and I really try to stay away from that bullshit).

I say I don’t like the consultant or the wife’s role in getting the consultant because it does something to the dignity of a man I sort of admire.

But talking this shit about him and his dumb decision to let his wife hire this consultant…well, what’s that doing for his dignity?

In this life, people are going to see your ass and that’s it. I’ve made mistakes in front of people. I’m sure I’ll do it again. So will the guy that owns this company, so will all the readers of the blog.

I guess we shouldn’t worry about our dignity being assailed by mistakes made in public.

We are only stupid if we never learn from them.

If this consultant experience proves to be as useless as I think it is, everybody’s gonna learn something.

I just hope the education is worth the price.

Overrated

Yup. The Bears are overrated. Apparently the only team more overrated is the NY Giants. No way could the Bears’ secondary stop the mighty Giant wide receivers.

Placixo(sp) Burris looked like Henry Burris.

Ok, a very tall Henry Burris.

How’s your hand Kiki?

Everyone (esp. Bears fans) who say the Bears are overrated probably nodded their heads in mindless agreement with the Hapless Madden. He’s run out of things to say when he drones on about how the first 28 minutes the Bears didn’t play with any emotion. The Giants stayed at home, plugged up the right gaps, played aggressive when it suited them and looked like they’d paid attention to all the film they’d seen on the Bears running game. They looked like the Steelers did against the Bears last year.

The difference, again – I don’t know shit about football so maybe I’m just droning on mindlessly….

The difference is the 2nd and 3rd string Giant defenders have tendencies that are easy for good coaches (esp. a guy like Ron Turner) to analyze and exploit. If you think I’m full of it, who was the fool in the Giants’ secondary – Corey Webster or the Webster that Michael Jackson fucked?

Rex stuck it right up Corey Webster’s no-hole in the 2nd half.

The thing I loved the most?

Tom Coughlin the old school, drill sergeant, piece of shit run out over and over again only to take a team so far, lose, lose their respect and blow up like a puss-riddled, ass-boil…

His tired and stupid ass didn’t punt or fake the 52 yard field goal (on the bad end of the field) which were the smart plays – and his team ended up getting outplayed and out coached by a guy famous for running “Camp Lovie.”

Then to get beat by a play that the Bears successfully executed last year on the field goal that should’ve never been kicked…on a deke(sp?) that Shanahan famously pulled off on Monday Nite a few years ago against that other gasbag who thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room, Brian Billick.

And good for you Rex answering the questions about being rated. I’ve been saying this all year – WHO RATES PRO FOOTBALL TEAMS?!?!?

I know, I know DC – Dr. Z.

He sounds like someone that tried to kill James Bond.

I’m not saying that the fix was in for the Bears, but the line judge looked an awful lot like Dan Jiggetts.

Hmmmm, there’s a guy, he’s got a name, he’s a line judge…

Do you think Hester and Vasher are arguing about who had the better 108 yard run?

Enjoy the ride Bears fans. Try not to exude as much hate or low level mockery as I am now.

I’m a generally hateful person so I can be excused.

Any Thoughts?

So I’ve been using this as a bio to go along with the breather copies sent out for review. I also submitted this for a program when I played a recent benefit. Any thoughts on my dopey music bio? Can ya tell I’m not very good at this?

edP (a bio): My acoustic set is the obsidian shards of a rock ‘n roll career gone to hell, or heaven, or somewhere in between. Punk rock credentials include playing guitar and “singing” in the critically exclaimed band, the floating Basement (possibly the most criticized band of all time). I spent several years trying to revive (and then successfully killing) vaudeville in the catchy/nerdy pop band the Magnificent Ambersons. Currently I play rhythm guitar in a rock band called bigDrag. I made a record called breather at Smart Studios in Madison, Wisconsin (and no, I didn’t go there just for the German food). I love writing songs, playing live and making records (in that order)…and I’d have to love it for the crap I’ve put up with just to do these things.

I know you're supposed to write about yourself in the 3rd person (I think the Old Dog's brother told me that). I respect his tenacity and his ability to get projects off the ground...but edP doesn't go 3rd person.

Ricky Henderson on the other hand...

What

I don't know what has happened to the blog.

Rum Dum Dum Dum

Keener, I love the passion. You said: “We won and they lost.”

Who is the “we” now? Is Senator Elect Bob Casey part of the we? His dad, the former governor of PA wasn’t part of the Clinton Dem’s version of “we” was he? There was no reason to reach out to a Dem who was a state politician, part of a dying unenlightened strain of the Democratic party. The quicker it dies out the faster people will ever remember it existed. The party position was clear in 1992 at the National level wasn’t it. There was no choice but CHOICE. We can’t have someone like that speak at the nominating convention. It was then that many long time Democrats ceased to recognize their own party. Times have changed.

Clinton’s former White House council Lanny Davis’ words, not mine: “We have found a great new center in the Democratic Party.” If the “we” includes this, the Dems have a chance at real inclusion, at not being so isolated.

My darling wife’s reaction to the Rummy news: “Halle-friggin-lujah!” I’m sure the Lord will forgive her. I bet even the Lord whose forgiveness is limitless is even saying “What took the dufus so long to dump this other dufus?!?!?”

I’m sure I have sinned.

To my friends who have worked for and supported some good Republicans who have lost a referendum which, in no small part, appears to have been a referendum on the pig-headed stay the course until we run off the cliff approach of the g bushy crew…

…I can only imagine your reaction to the removal of Rummy. You guys are probably going: “NOW YOU FIRE RUMSFELD YOU STUPID FUCK! NOW YOU FIRE HIM!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING YOU DOUCHE BAG!!!!!!”

Unlike our friend Keener, I have no concept of “we” or “they” in terms of party or ideology in America. There are plenty of fucknuggets on all sides. I’m glad I’m me. But I feel bad for an American political landscape littered with some good Republicans who lost local elections on an issue that had nothing to do with them. It’s like our stupid “advisory” ballot initiative about pulling the troops out of Iraq in an orderly but timely manner. No wonder Rumsfled got dumped. That thing one by like 4,000 votes in our county. The people have spoken!

On a positive note, Bill Gates should do a great job as Secretary of Defense. He’s finally in a position where he will do far less harm.

See, I can make a bad joke about Bill Gates and nothing will happen to my bloka98741-&^54
0-=-0=-0=-00-=-=-00=-0=-0=-0=-0=-0=-0=-00==----=0000=-=0-0=-arglebargle

America, Why So Bitchy?

Enjoying the MSNBC coverage of the election tonight. Mercifully they are spending far less time talking about the blogging community and its pointless reactions to things important and otherwise. The Scarborough/Hardhead Matthews pissing contest has just been mercifully broken up by Andrea Mitchell.

So many friends, family coworkers have been down about the election, the candidates and the tone of the same. I didn’t find it to be particularly nasty (minus things like the anti-Ford ad in TN – but Corker and R’s far and wide denounced it)

…apparently they were for the ad before they were against it.

Imagine, the owner of the Milwaukee Bucks has won his race in WI. Can we hope to one day see President Jerry Reinsdork? Nah. He doesn’t need to be. Since the SOX won the World Series, there is only one Chairman of the Board - - the old, dead Sinatra can bite me. Sure he can sing, sure he boned Eva Gardner but he doesn’t know shit about baseball.

My condolences to a friend in Pennsylvania who worked on the Santorum campaign…

My congratulations to the rest of the country!

I see some of the slimy tendencies in some of my arguments in leaders like the soon to be former Sen. from Penn.

Good for Lieberman if this projection turns out to be correct. Lamont and some of his supporters called the Sen from CT an imperialist…an imperialist?!?!?!?

Do I agree with Lieberman’s support for the war? No, but to call your opponents tyrants and imperialists when they’re just some dork from CT, c’mon lefties you’re better than that. Folks like Lieberman (if he comes back to the fold) and Bob Casey, they make the Donkey tent open, or more open.

And America, if you have a tent full of donkeys you better leave it open or that’s going to be one stinky tent.

It is very early in this process. Me and the news I’ve been watching might be focusing too much on these key Senate races going to the donkeys. I don’t know how these big Senate wins translate to a shift in the House. I know historically one party hasn’t taken back the Senate and not the House…but I haven’t seen anything like a projection of Rep races being put across here. It’s just some fait accompli, big projected victories in the Senate somehow translate to change everywhere. We’ll see.

The mood of many I know has been gloomy and pessimistic regarding these races. I think in some ways it’s a no brainer. If you oppose the war and feel the legislative agenda has disregarded you and your values the past five to twelve years, vote for a donkey.

If you think the donkeys will coddle the terrorists and only Bush and the law and order crowd will keep you safe, choose an elephant.

If you have seen your local Rep reflect your values, do good things for your district etc vote for them.

Sorry to Rep. Anne Northrup in KY. NOT THAT YOU SICK BASTARDS!

Back to the gloom and doom of my friends, family and coworkers: Would I have liked to have seen some substantive debate regarding the Bush tax cuts and different candidates’ stances on it? Sure. I would’ve liked to see a few donkeys fire back at Bush when he said they would cut in half the child tax credit. That’s an issue…hell, that’s a quantifiable issue. If I got $1000 for Alex and now I will only get $500 (please allow the gross oversimplification) why do I get $500 less? Where is the money going? Will that make a big enough chunk of the tax pie to do something useful for the country with it or are you against it because it sounds rhetorically “pro-family”?

I hope the legacy of some of the blue dog R’s is a good one – Christopher Shays and others always seemed to represent honest change to me. They never gave up and Shays was one of the first to call for DeLay to come clean – he said “They are our rules. We ought to follow them.”

I’m jumping around a lot here so I’m going to go back and watch more tv.

Dick Armey is saying that he now knows how Dick Gephardt felt in 1994. Oooh, that’s gotta suck.

Dick Armey has a right to be down in the dumps. He helped engineer a “contract” that appears to have run out. America, buck the hell up. Unless a lot of these House races go to court this has been a pretty and pretty harmless thing. If you hate the Democrats, the Democrats who are winning are a lot less Democratic than they’ve been in a long time.

What does that mean?

I dunno.

Maybe I should be depressed too. There are reasons, no matter how it shakes out for me to be a little sad. Sure I want the g bushy Whitehouse to feel like the nation is against them and their fucking war in Irock which was never explained to the nation – but where were these votes against Bush when he was an actual candidate for jiminy cricket’s sake! Good people are losing races because of some of this too little too late repudiation of Captain Jerk and his Veep – who says the war goes full speed ahead no matter what happens in the election.

Oh really? Oh really you swollen bag of goo?!? What’re you gonna do Mr. Vice President? Tell members who ask questions about the war to go fuck themselves? Are you gonna shoot them??? We’ll see what’s gonna happen.

Rep. Rahm Emanuel wants to remind us about Nancy Johnson and some members being in cahoots with the drug companies to serve some $$ fuckery. I don’t know if she was/is in collusion with Park Lilly.

But here is a thought for people who somehow fucking think that illegal immigrants are driving up health care costs in America…it’s the health care industry that is driving up the cost of health care in America! It’s like saying that more illegal immigrants driving around America with their green Buicks leads to a greater demand for gas and an increase in gas prices.

That’s racist, absurd and wrong.

Shell’ll tell us how much to pay and then to get the fuck out.

Did someone say Canary in a Coalmine re: Rep Johnson’s loss in CT? I knew that bastard Sting had to be behind it!

It’s too early to say anything big. No matter what happens, I’ll have mixed emotions. Sure, I’d like to see Hot Karl have to eat real shit from when he said he had THE MATH on his side. Where’s your math now wiener-face?

I'm glad Chris Matthews said some nice things about the Representative from my district. He said this representative was a real person. Circumstances were such that he was in a postion of great power in the US House of Representatives and this is relatively unique in the world and in human history. That is not nothing. I have every right to celebrate that.

More blah blah about the trends in Indiana and how the House might trend.

If the fate of America hangs on some of these House elections in Indiana, so be it.

However, if America ever relies on Indiana for anything, we’re in bigger trouble than I thought.

Maybe I have a right to be bitchy too.

God Bless America.

Tiny

The Republic never seemed so small.

Great fun on Meet the Press this morning – and if anybody doesn’t think we have it good here, just imagine if Sen. Chuckels S from New York and Sen. e-Dole had their own militias. Then we’d have some shit in this country.

I saw Rep. T Reynolds from NY sweating under the lights a bit when Russert asked him about what conversation he thinks he had when re: the overly friendly e-mails. Truth be told I hope Reynolds turns out to be another fall guy after the election. I think in the long run it would be better for Reynolds to not be able to have his “out” conversation confirmed…to make it look like the cover-up ended with him rather than with the Rep from the 14th District in Illinois.

My ears pricked up when I heard Charlie Bass’ name mentioned. Keener, who posts here from time to time is part of a blogging community determined to help another NH candidate get that seat.

I have nothing to say about the Swinging Party being planned in I-R0ck.

My new inhaler is helping. Kim found a good doctor who listened to me (to my words and to my lungs). This could be the beginning of a whole new something or other for me. I’ve got to say that the pain and the sick have made me a testy sonuvabitch this week and my wife & kid have bore the brunt of it. I’m a lucky sonuvabitch because they’ve stuck with me through all this whatnot.

Let me end by saying two things about football: 1.) There is no such thing as Bear weather; 2.) Stats do NOT matter when determining how great a defense is.

Me and My Big Inability to Respond

OK this is getting bad.

My sick has not gone anywhere except deeper into my chest. I ran across my own personal Freedom Road (the street I cross everyday from my job to my car) and as I walked past the bus stop I was coughing pretty damned hard. This blind guy who waits for the bus just about everyday between 5:15 and 5:20 said “You sound pretty bad.”

Great. The blind have taken pity on me.

It’s not so bad. He seems to be doing pretty well for himself. He’s got a mighty fine Daredevil stick there. And hey, who knows what exciting, fast-paced corporate job that bus whisks him to every day? The guy wears bulky clothes in the fall/winter, but I’ve seen him in a t-shirt in the warmer weather. He’s pretty ripped so I better not even sound like I’m making fun of him.

Plus he’s got that stick.

Thanks and much love to a few people who don’t know me but have reached out through a series of circumstances to get CDs by my old band, The Not So Great You Know What’s. As usual, it takes me forever to get off my ass and do something – even if it’s simple like put a CD in an envelope and send it to Cali, Oregon and VT. At least two of these inquirers were nice and did not give up on me and when they got their records they wrote nice e-mail responses.

Thanks to them. I’ve been sick and a little blue. Not that my life is misery, but every little thing in the plus column helps these days.

One of the e-mailers asked the following question:

“So what happened to the Ambersons?”

You know what’s funny, I couldn’t really answer him. Anybody who has ever written me e-mails or letters (or reads this blog) knows that I don’t have a problem being honest if I think I know something. Even if I’m wrong, I’m not afraid to throw some sort of answer out there in order to begin to investigate it further, or get some feedback from others.

Now I have a distinct advantage (or so I thought) because I’ve kept a journal (pretty active one) since 1989 (the whole idea went back to my first grade teacher Mrs. Wilson, but I’ve been keeping it regularly since 1989)…

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, so I thought ‘Welp, you don’t remember why something happened ed, you wrote it down, presumably so you could find it later. Now is later so find it.’

This is like Journal Book Twenty Fucking Three (the official Title) p.3578. Journal 23 covers July 1999-November 1999 so it’s a pretty big book. The entry is as follows:

--------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------ - - - - - - - --------
Sunday August 29 So It Goes

Sonia came by my place today to quit the band. I made it very easy for her. We still ended up having a long talk. I’m not going to go into detail about all her reasons – but I will say why this was a good decision. Look, there has always been something in this band that has turned off as many people as it excited. The schizophrenia between two very different lead sings with very different personalities (getting different-er all the time) and the all-over-the-map approach to songwriting I’ve taken along with the songs and input on each others’ songs from five other members has hurt us as much as helped us. Listen to our two records. Whatever their merits they sound like, well…samplers. That is sort of mostly my fault. I wanted to make records that were like my favorite album in high school – The White Album. It sounds stupider every time I say it. And our shows were even more confused with different styles of songs springing up out of nowhere and that’s when we were sober enough to pull off the different styles of music. It was exciting to do that for a long time but some of the shows had no structure at all.

I’m sad. I don’t want to just make a list of reasons and say “Here’s why we can’t or shouldn’t be a band anymore.” But I’m not happy in the band anymore, and I probably haven’t been happy for awhile. Ultimately I think Sonia did me a favor. I couldn’t leave the band if I had the guts to because of my commitment to Jerry (who I hope is cool about all the money I owe him). I think Sonia did Billy a favor because he wanted out or at least wasn’t happy with the prospect of having to do more or any work. He’s got a good girl and ready to get on with his life. In fact that was sort of confirmed when I talked to Bill. He said he hadn’t been happy in the band for some time but he was afraid if he did quit he’d disappoint the others and we wouldn’t go on. He’s right too. Bill was an important part of the Ambersons. We all were. One gone – NO GO ON!

Poor Kimberly Jo I think took it the hardest. She cried. She’s got such a good heart. She went to all those shows and took all those pictures.

I had to tell Devin and Joe in front of John and Christine. I ran into them on the street right after I called Bill.

Yeah that was comfortable.

I am no good at keeping shit inside. If I have something to tell someone I try to tell them. Devin’s response: “Really?”

We drank beers and tried to enjoy .38 Special. We went to Bill’s place and drank beers on the porch. Then we went to the Courthouse to eat food and drink beers. Then we went back to Bill’s place and blamed Trixie’s other dog (the ugly Daisy) for breaking up the band. Bill said “We were a band before that dog came around here!” Devin and I went to Annex to drink beers. He really wants to preserve the friendships. I believe him. But I do not want to find a way to save the band at this point. It is over in my mind. It was over the minute Sonia said she was thinking about leaving the band to me.

We’re not closing the door forever. We are not saying to anyone who would know or care (other than Alex cuz he made the latest record). I hate bands that announce their last gig, the last album the last track and come back in 4 ½ years.

Last Friday probably was our last gig. That’s all I’m saying.

In some way all six of us aren’t interested or capable of doing this anymore. Sonia wants to start a new, non-DeKalb related life, Bill and I do not agree with each others musical whatever tastes, ChrisB wants us to play a gig wearing powder blue tuxedoes and Old Dog thinks we just need to practice more. The relationships between all of us, for whatever reason aren’t as good as they were and that’s reason enough to quit. That’s the whole reason it worked on whatever level it worked in the first place. The six of us genuinely loved each other and couldn’t wait to hang out…in fact we didn’t have to wait to hang out because we were always hanging out. We were a six-headed monster that I’m sure a lot of people took a lot of pleasure at mocking. We didn’t care. We were really happy. It sounds so hackneyed but maybe it’s a tired saying cuz it’s true – that just can’t last. Now that we don’t need those relationships the way we used to, the band is sort of besides the point in many ways. It’s not like we need the band as a source of revenue. At the height of our monetary success we were able to break even on PA, gas, sticks, strings, most of the recordings and every once in awhile we could bail friends and Devin out of jail. Sadly, that’s the most $$ success I’ve ever had at anything. It isn’t like the fame or the reputation or the potential of the band is compelling us to stay together. We never followed up on the Metro. The story of this band – publicly - really ended a month after that show in June of 1996. I’d be lying to myself if I said otherwise. And why would I do that? But most of the time after that was worth it because we loved hanging out, succeeding together, and failing together. Devin, if it were up to him would keep the band together to revive those relationships at the price of whatever we should or should not be doing next because he loves everyone so much and partly because I don’t know why Devin does things.

Anyhow what the band had (or thought it had) is over. The friendship with those guys isn’t over in my mind. In the case of Billy, our friendship will go back to what it was before and probably will be better – because now we have more stories and hardly any bullshit. I am very happy for that. I love that little guy. I can’t see Sonia, Bill, Joe and Devin hanging out together all that much for one reason or another – BUT I’m sure we’ll all be in the same room again soon. Chris’ wedding is coming up. We’re also planning to get together for dinner somewhere just the six of us for a toast or something slightly less pathetic than the 72 Dolphins.

What more can I say? To be honest, and I don’t know why I shouldn’t be honest cuz WHO THE FUCK IS EVER GOING TO READ THIS, it doesn’t matter who did who to what or who feels what way now. It’s done and I need to think about what to do next. I wrote songs before I was in the Ambersons and I’ll keep doing afterwards to the chagrin of the world at large and amateur recording engineers everywhere who have to listen to me get this shit on tape. To be honest I JUST SAID THAT, but to be honest after almost five years in that band I feel ten years older and one year smarter.

That is not a good ratio.

We tried. The Magnificent Ambersons tried. We failed.

But what I’ll remember most is….
---------------- - - -- - -------------------------------------- - ---- -- --------- - -------------- --

…and that’s basically how the entry ended 7 years ago. No wonder I couldn’t tell the nice fellow the whole story when he asked the question. I couldn’t even tell it to myself right after it happened. Funny when life and our brains are like that. We think we understand ourselves, our lives the things big and little that happen to us…

But it’s hard, hard as hell to articulate them let alone archive them.

Anyhow, I sort of promised Mr. J.O. (not the Old Dog) a story about what happened to the band. I gave him the address to my blog. I thought the source was good. I didn’t mean to spew a sack of woe, if that’s what I did. His note made me happy the other day and for that I say

Thanks…

And thanks and God bless to all of my friends who’ve put up with this kind of shit for all these years. To quote my blessed Lord and Savior: “Your reward shall be great in Heaven”

Mostly because there better not be any pathetic blogs you have to read there!!!!

G’night

Not Totally Useless

I am so damned sick and my throat is so damned sore. I had the energy to wear a devil mask to work yesterday and put Little Debbie Devil Food Cakes in the break room. I was a mid-level demon working my way down to the inner sanctum of the corporate Hell spiral.

Wha?

I managed to go Trick or Treating with Alex for a block and a ½ or so…then Kim went with him the rest of the way. I feel like a world class pud that I couldn’t make it any further. I went home, put the Halloween candy on the porch, put on my sick clothes, covered myself up and sweat like hell.

I perked up when Alex came back because he wanted me to watch him count his loot.

We watched a little Return of the Jedi and then checked out the Bulls. Alex was so excited to see the Bulls pull away. He grabbed his YMCA basketball jersey and bounced around the living room. When Skiles got the “T” Alex asked “Why is the Bulls coach yelling? They’re ahead by like a hundred?”

Me: “Because he’s one crazy son of a buck kid.”

I’ve refined the Nietzsche paper topic for this semester and part of this was inspired by an ongoing discussion in this blog – parts of which were picked up by jeanz the other day. My students will have two ways of addressing my question:

Topic One: Describe the “problem of history” presented in Nietzsche’s On the Uses and Disadvantages of History for Life. Explain how Nietzsche’s discovery of this problem helps us understand the following quote from The Birth of Tragedy: “…art, not morality is presented as the true metaphysical activity of man.”

Topic Two: Explain the connection between history, art and science from Nietzsche’s On the Uses and Disadvantages of History for Life, The Birth of Tragedy and The Gay Science. Do you agree with the interpretation presented in class over the past several weeks? Present reasons and examples from the texts that support your position.


I think most people will take the second option since it is the most straightforward. Also my students, like most of us don’t really understand the problem of historicism (as uncovered by Nietzsche) since we live in it’s midst and have conceded much to it already.

I haven’t been totally useless whilst sick...but I’ve been getting my sleep which is much needed these days.