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Uncommon thoughts. Unsolicited, unsubstantiated, and unedited.

Monday, March 29, 2010

It's Hard to Predict Things

...especially the future...

...especially if the fortune cookie is as poorly written as this one: "You will make many changes before setting satisfactory."

Whoever edits these fucking cookies is totally asleep at the switch. I think I can see the future of a certain sweet soothsayer, and let's just say it's not at the editorial desk at the New York Times.

...or is it "of" the New York Times? That job's probably not in my future either.

I can't lie in proper English.

Or is it lay?

Sunday, March 28, 2010

As Per Usual

...when a record is in various stages of "doneness" I get myself in the process of moving on to the next thing. That may explain why I have spent little or no time promoting things I have been a part of finishing.

Oh well...here's some new (or re-worked) words for an OKB thing coming down the pike

Goodbye, farewell
Only time can tell
When I will see you again
If I will be you again
If you and me are real
Or really friends

But if I see you again
I will tell you again
While you’re crying how
You will find out soon
There’s no one left in this bar
To tell the truth
There’s no one left to conduct
This sad interview
There’s no one left to conduct
This sad interlude
For all the monkeys and drunkards
And junkies and fools
And me and you

I’ve been walkin on watercress
Prying at the alter of
Ham and salmon on rye
Goodbye, farewell
Only time can tell
When I will meet you again
If I can be you again
When I will need you in this place where
We all need a place for friends

Saturday, March 27, 2010

We Are DeKalb

Probably shouldn't sound too proud about that. Thanks one and all for coming to the rockshow last night. The new Otto's crew was so nice to us. They even had folks help us load our gear in and out. Saw Larry and my Cousin Mike (not to be confused with Cousin Larry from Perfect Strangers).

"Mr. Gorpley...here is your maiiiiiilllll"

Sorry.

Saw a ton of folks I haven't seen in forever. Many cans and boxes of food were donated. Fear not. I did not eat any of the donations.

Yet. I am hungry this morning.

That's not true. I just a delicious breakfast with the boy.

The list from last night...

Broken Sky

The End of Everything (I missed my footswitch on this number, the only major glitch of the night....in my defense, it was the first time I used this rig on stage while my beautiful Fender Deluxe Reverb gets an overhaul)

Sound

Dil

Francesca

Stupid Now

Imported Wine and Soul Food

BFI

Understandable

Something On the Outside

Real Eyes



So blessed and lucky to still be doing this. Thanks friends for coming out and giving with love. Thanks John U and Otto's for giving us a place to play. Thanks Dev, Joe and Chris for being my brothers.

Friday, March 26, 2010

LOST Spoiler - WARNING!!!

Conversation today between me and a coworker who is a big LOST fan...

Me: "I just figured out how the show is going to end."
Coworker: "Oh really..."
Me: "The entire cast is going wake up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette."
Coworker: "She is dead, dumbass."
Me: "Exactly."

Friday, March 19, 2010

Advertising Coupe

...er, Coup

Everybody knows the Ricketts family plans to welcome the world's largest car maker as their first corporate partner at Wrigley Field. What you might not know is I am working with the face of the organization (I call him Tom) writing the copy for the 50,000 foot sign that will cast its shadow from Waveland to Archer Ave (if we get our way)

Here's an early draft...

"Toyota and the Cubs - once we start going downhill, nothing can stop us!"

DISCLAIMER - I own a Toyota, and don't hate the cubs.

BELIEVE ME!

Ok, maybe I'm still upset that my work on the Chevy Camero partnership with the WhiteSOX was a complete and utter failure. It's not my fault the shirtless mullets who might've been lured by that product couldn't even read my nigh-holophrastic slogan

"BUY CAR CUZ SOX LIKE"

Poor, dumb bastards (or is it dumb, poor bastards)...there wasn't even a word with five letters in that pitch. Peggy Noonan herself couldn't have found a lower common denominator.

Yes she could, or at the very least she'd just b.s. & take credit for my work.

Bitch.

I also don't hate Peggy Noonan.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Damned Washington Snake Oil Salesmen

C = consolidated
O = omnibus
B = BUDGETARY?!?
R = RECONCILIATION?!?!
A = act

...of 1985

!!!

Can you believe the federal government once passed something like national health care coverage under the guise of a Congressional budgetary reconciliation act?

What do you expect when you get a Democratic Congress in the middle of a recession and a left-coast Hollywood-type, former actor in the White House to sign their piece of socialist legislation.

Damn you Ronald Reagan!!!

I believe I am going to drive through Dixon, Illinois and honk my horn all day.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

And It Never Ever Gets Old

Listening to Kish running order (@ least this is the beta version of the running order for the food drive gig - come one come all Friday March 26, 2010 Otto's DK Rock City)

1. The Irrelevant in the Room
2. Virgina
3. Night of the Walkers
4. Imported Wine and Soul Food
5. We Can Always Get Away
6. Harvest Here
7. Two for the Stoned
8. Or, Three to Get Some...
9. Francesca
10. Electrons, and where they go to hide

I'm prepared for people to hate it. I don't even think the band liked making it that much (sans Joe)...but the thrill of playing with those guys, taking a few simple starting points, hearing what they become in terms of songs with their contributions and then hearing the songs one after another....

It is a pure pleasure (minus all the filthy jokes we make while working on stuff). Outside my family and faith there is nothing more interesting to me than making records and writing. I do not give a fucking care if I never make a dime. Just trying and failing in new and different ways...seeing the thing through to the end still does it for me...

And it never, ever gets old.

Best line from the 89-90 journals that did not make the Kish record:

"I don't know what it was with me and that girl. We were like two ships sinking in the night."

Monday, March 15, 2010

A Second Slice of Bacon

What will Gordon Beckham be this year?

SOX fans know it will be Beckham at 2nd with Alexis at short and former KC Royal Mark Tehan at 3rd. How will he adjust to playing 2nd in the bigs? Everything #15 tried his hand at last year seemed to work pretty well...but there is something to being a 2nd year player in MLB coming on the heels of a brilliant season.

Chicago sports fans need look no further than to the Northside and one Giovanni Soto. The cubs backstop had a brilliant rookie campaign (and not just in comparison to crap catchers like the coward and fool Barrett before him)...Soto called a great game, was better than average at getting guys out and did damage at the plate...and not just for a catcher...he did some good work in his first year and seemed to be a threat with men on the base paths

And I don't think the cause of Soto's drop off was weed and junk food, although that makes for a good story. I think Soto faced what a lot of Rookie of the Year types come up against in their 2nd season.

Adjustments.

In MLB, on a daily basis you are facing the best pitchers and best pitching coaches you have ever faced in your life. There is now a bigger book on you...a whole season of work...and you can bet the Dave Duncans of the world are going to use it against you. Yes Soto came in overweight and yes that might've led to the injuries but my larger point here is Beckham could face a similar fate even though he has come to Spring training healthy and seemingly in good shape. Pitchers are (more likely than not) going to figure out some things about the SOX plucky young infielder and it will be on him to make adjustments to their adjustments.

No one knows for sure how this will all play out. I think Bacon's had success at every level but saying that does NOT guarantee smooth sailing this year. And the WhiteSOX, to do well, need Bacon to perform at a high level...and that might mean hitting homeruns while batting second and playing 2nd base (traditionally not a power position)...Ozzie may be asking Bacon to be a mini-Chase Utley.

Is this asking too much?

We shall see.

Moving on to a more reliable predictor of things to come...

Kim and I got the Chinger tonight. My fortune cookie read, "You will set foot in the soil of many lands."

Better bring along an extra pair of shoes

Friday, March 12, 2010

Something's Rotten in Our Local Landfill

Those who know me know I am the last guy on earth to drone on about government conspiracies as I am of the opinion that most people aren't clever enough to come up with a decent conspiracy let alone execute it...

But DK County Board Members being told not to discuss the expansion of our local landfill and if said expansion goes forward in its present form (after the secret proceedings have reached their conclusion) the money from the landfill is going to pay for a bigger jail

Come on shadow government, you're not giving me anything to work with here.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Brady vs. Quinn

So the race to be Ilinois' next indicted Governor comes done to Sen. Bill Brady and current placeholder Pat Quinn.

If I was advising our state's Jack Asses I'd try to do everything in my power to get Brady Quinn on the ticket as Lt. Governor. At the very least a ballot with Brady R and Quinn D and another guy named Brady Quinn on their is gonna cause massive confusion.

And secondly, Brady Quinn is going to be better at balancing Illinois' budget than he is at playing quarterback. He's got to be.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

My Big Fat Greek Deficit

Look, if the Greeks are going to climb out of the economic equivalent of the Hot Gates of Shit they put themselves in, it's gonna take some forward thinking.

And when I think of forward thinking, I think of the iconic and tradition-laden National Football League (remember I am an idiot)

Do what NFL owners do to bring in gads of revenue they don't even need...

Yup, that's right...start selling naming rights left and right!

Can anyone say "Invesco Field at the Parthenon on the Acropolis of Athens"? No? Well it doesn't matter because once Invesco pays that money people will call the thing whatever the hell they want and hang 'em if Invesco wants their money back.

That brilliant marketing strategy in conjunction with a few publicity photos of that orange snow-skating dude smoking a fatty while looking down from Mt. Olympus and maybe some Olympia beercans from the 70's lying around Olympia...

...or getting Fifth Third Bank to host their ironically not ironically titled 1/2 marathon on the actual Battlefield of Marathon and you got yerself more money than Pericles' friends can throw on a funeral pyre in a fortnight

???

And if all that fails, maybe Athens can put in a bid to host the Olympics. That's a sure money maker. Right?

Oh...

Monday, March 08, 2010

Hi Ho Silva

I told fuckin' Hendry he should've traded Milton Bradley for for a bunch of fungos. At least the club could get some use out of the fungos...Carlos Silva...BLECHHH!

Always good to see a former Twin turn into a large, doughy pile of crap. It's like Dennis Reyes never went away. Um, he may still be pitching somewhere so I should probably shut up about this.

One remaining point from the last post comparing the acquisition of Freddie G in 2004 with Peavy at the trade deadline last year. I was skeptical in 04 when the SOX acquired Freddie. I was happy that Kenny targeted the biggest "available" pitcher and landed him (in Garcia). I thought he gave up too much (um, Miguel Olivo turned out to be a nice player but Freddie was an important component of what was, unquestionably greatest pitching lineup any Chicago team has boasted in my lifetime so I am an idiot)...oh, but the other reason I was skeptical about the SOX getting Garcia in 04 was he came from a pitchers park. Safe Co is totally a pitchers park. Now he faced some great offenses in that park and on the road in places like Texas and Anaheim so Garcia certainly faced better lineups on a consistent basis than Peavy did pitching in the inferior league, in a pitchers park.

I am optimistic about Peavy as the key to the SOX rotation, but optimism should not lead one to utter stupidity.

Next post, something on the pitching front for the WhiteSOX that makes me a tad nervous...the bullpen.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Pitching is the Key

...or is it? The most exciting part of the WhiteSOX becoming what they've become (a wannabe Atlanta Braves that got winning the World Series out of the way so I can just enjoy the rest of this)...the most exciting part about the SOX since 2004 have been the pitching moves Kenny has made. In a way, they have come full circle on this and this may lead to a delightful result at the end of the 2010 season.

The WhiteSOX world series run began, NOT with the acquisition of ScottiePODZ as many believe but with the late season trade for Sweaty Freddie Garcia in 2004. Those who know me know I love that dope-smoking, double vodka drinking, big game pressure pitching SOB.

Hmmm, acquiring a big pitcher from the west coast the season before leading to a successful campaign the next year...sound familiar?

Maybe.

Peavy pitched well in September but it's not clear that will mean anything this year. If Peavy turns out to be a true top of the rotation pitcher for an AL club then the SOX could have something special. I love Buehrle whether he starts opening day, pitches 2nd, 3rd wherever...I hope he looks more like 05 and 08 Buehrle rather than second half of 07 and 09 Buehrle. He's entitled to a drop-off with all the innings he's pitched since 04. I'll be happy if he pitches great but will not be surprised if their are some bumps along the way.

The 2nd no-no/perfect game may be one of my favorite baseball memories but let's just see #56 be a solid #2 rack up 200 some innings and pitch the SOX to the post season.

I have every reason to believe Floyd and (my 2nd favorite SOX pitcher) John Danks will continue to make progress. I base that on nothing, cuz I don't know what they did in the off-season....but here's hoping.

All I know is if Freddie Garcia wins 10-12 games as the SOX 5th starter, buy your playoff tickets early folks.

I didn't make that last part up. It comes right from the baseball Zeus. He could be an idiot too...but he's an idiot I admire, so let's call him an authority hmmmmmm

more on pitching if I have any coherent thoughts

Friday, March 05, 2010

Let's Get Physicals

Julius Peppers and Chester Taylor are getting physicals in Halas Hall as I blog and the Bears have signed a 6'2" 295lb tight end whose name I can't pronounce.

I hope these desperate Bears do better groping around in free agency than the desperate cubs did from 2007 on...

I love the Bears and I hope this works...but if its gonna turn out badly, the big bears might as well do the blue baby bears a favor and take Soriano off their hands. I can just see that piece of hot garbage (as a professional athlete, he may be a fine human but he is the pro sports equivalent of a toxic asset) as the Bears new kick returner, hopping while the ball is still in the air.

...and Santo let's lose with the anguished cry, "He dropped the ball! Why am I not in Wrigley...and why is it so cold? Patrick!"

Thursday, March 04, 2010

SOX vs cubs Streetfighter

Alphonso Soriano vs. Alex Rios...FIGHT!

Soriano: "I hurt myself hopping!"
Rios: "I don't give a shit...my shoulder's bothering me."

TIE

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Bucks for Those Who Might Just Suck

Either my beloved WhiteSOX are poised to make a serious run at the mighty Yankees, or they are setting themselves up for a high-priced disappointing season.

But unlike when the Mets or cubs, or failed Yankee teams do this, there is a method to the SOX madness.

When the team I credit for making mostly smart baseball moves starts doing things that don't make sense at first, I need to try comparing players and situations. Those who think I don't know anything about baseball (or I just bash the Mets and cubs because it's fun) feel free to stop reading here. This is me thinking out loud.

Alex Rios does not have to hit .300 with 35-40 home runs and 100 RBI to be worth the rest of huge contract the Blue Jays wrote up and the SOX now owe (some not insignificant portion of $69 mildo)

If Rios even matches his first "delcining year" and bats .290 with 15-20 home runs and 80 RBI, or if he doesn't pop us as much, if he hits line drives or with some authority it will be an ugrade over Wise and BA. Perhaps it is the most expensive minor upgrade in history but any upgrade in center for the White Sox has significant value to the club.

I know I mock the cubs and Soriano every chance I get but the difference is Hendry gave that jackass $130 million over 8 years with the thought that he'd be a 40/40 man for a few years of that contract. The cubs billed themselves as landing the biggest free agent of 2007, virtually made him the face of the franchise and now they are stuck with a left-fielder who can never live up to the offensive promise, is crappy in the field and now, even his plus arm is questionable.

The Rios story is different (and yes I heard he pulled himself out of spring training activity due to a sore shoulder). Rios was picked up on waivers for nothing. And even if the worst case scenario is true (some folks who write for Baseball Prospectus have gone as far to say that he just doesn't care at all)...Rios, unlike Soriano can be moved one more time. No one can tell me that if the Mets, or the Dodgers or the M's are in a playoff race in and have injuries in the outfield (and remember the M's have Milton Bradley so he's bound to hurt himself in some incredibly stupid fashion)...someone would take Rios if the SOX plans with him totally collapse.

I will not be bothered by those who say for the remainder of that $60-some million, Alex Rios needs to be an All-Star. I could give a crap about him being an All-Star. I don't care about the money, because I'd rather see the SOX take a chance with him than spend $1 million too much on left-handed power that ain't what it used to be.

If the WhiteSOX are in contention at the trade deadline, they'll be buyers. Believe me, they know mid to late season ticket sails are dependent on winning. It's one of the most realistic things about following this team. They do well, people come out, they try to spend a little more to make the product even better. Sometimes it works and sometimes you end up with Albert Belle.

Rios, even at his worst offensively last year, solidified the SOX outfield. I think, in center, he can cover some of the deficiencies of an aging Juan Pierre in left and a sometimes injured and oftentimes weird Carlos Quentin in right. I think Ozzie and Walker can find a place for him in their lineup where they will get whatever can be gotten from him at the dish.

Or Ozzie will switch him around so much that Rios won't even know which way is upp the hill anymore and that'll be that.

Andruw Jones, I hope he is more part-time DH than anything else. You know the WhiteSOX plan is going off the rails if we see Jones playing a lot of centerfield.

I don't even want to think about it.

More on my excitement over the SOX in the days and weeks leading up to the start of the season. WHOO HOO!!!