2006 Baseball Predictions

I Promise This Will Be the Only Picture of My Dumb Ass Ever Posted Here

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Baseball Predictions

Here are my Chicago baseball predictions for the upcoming season. I have done this for years in my journal and now thanks to blogger, the internets can marvel at how wrong a man can be.

1. Best Batting Avg. on WhiteSox: 15 Tadahito Iguchi
2. Best Batting Avg. in Chicago (both sides): 25 Derrek Lee
3. Most Saves in Chicago (both sides): 46 Neal Cotts
4. Most stolen bases in Chicago: 9 Juan Pierre
5. Most Homeruns on WhiteSox: 25 Jim Thome
6. Most Homeruns in Chicago (both sides): 25 Jim Thome
7. Pitcher with the most wins in Chicago: 52 Jose Contreras
8.) Sox Record: 88-74. I’m not sure if that will be enough which brings me to my next prediction…
9.) Will the Sox Repeat? I hope I’m wrong, but no I don’t think they will. I'm not even sure if 88 wins will be enough to get them to the playoffs. There are improvements throughout the AL Central and out on the East Cost it looks like the Toronto Blue Jays actually want to contend for a wild card. I will cheer my ass off and probably puff out my chest until the last strike determines the new WS champion.
10.) Cubs Record 70-92. Believe it or not friends who are Cubs fans, I hope I am wrong.
11.) Chicago Cubs Baseball Prediction Pulled out of My Ass: D-Lee will win the MVP if the Cubs do not sign him before the season starts (I better check if they’ve signed him yet…this prediction might be even more bullshit than I thought at first).
12.) Chicago WhiteSox Prediction Pulled out of My Ass: Kenny W. will acquire one MAJOR superstar for the Sox by the trade deadline this season (and no Santi he will not trade for Carl Everett for the 5th time).

I’ll have an update at season’s end (hopefully sometime in November when one of these teams is crowned W.S. Champion…uh, we’re all probably going to be waiting at least another 88 years for something like that, right?) – and we can add more evidence to the “ed is stupid” file.

Even though I do not like Dusty Baker (I just wanted to vomit in fucking 2003 when those blue haired fans of the Blue Team wore their “In Dusty We Trusty” t-shirts – YUCK fucking YUCK!), and I think our friends at the Tribune are super dicks I am going to try to pull for the Cubs this year. I’m not sure if I’ve ever written the word “Cubs” so many times. I’ve told some of my Cubs fan friends (and students who are Cubs fans) this and they’ve all told me (except Dev) to KEEP IT! WE DON’T NEED YOU. I am undeterred by their rebukes. I enjoin fans of both teams to become bi-Soxual, at least for the 2006 Season. What is so special about 2006 and Chicago baseball? This is the 100th Anniversary of the only Sox/Cubs World Series. What better year to end all the hostilities betweens fans of the Black Team and the Blue Team?

Just to demonstrate my determination to become bi-Soxual, I’m gonna make out with Santi at the Ray Davies show on Sat.

There’s an image for y’all.

Very Important, Relative to Me

I have totally failed doing the stuff on my rock to do list this week. A bunch of shit jumped to the forefront and took my attention away from the rock stuff. I know, I know – What could possibly be more important than sending a copy of GOITER to Tom?!? It was kitchen sink related. When your kitchen sink is f’d up, things sort of stop in the house. Here are two rock things that I have to do or I will have wasted my bandmates’ time at practice tonight:

1.) Burn a copy of the original rough recordings from Larry – esp. STUPID NOW and dIL so Devin can compare the original mix he loved of SN to….
2.) …The latest CD’s from Larry’s. Bring ‘em so we can have a side by side comparison.

I’ll have plenty of time to do these things as we are going to have a later practice tonight. My, aren’t we cosmopolitan? Actually I’m glad we’re doing it later. I had to give up my Dad/Alex ½ day at home ½ day at work today. Stupid conference schedule and my work stuff creeping up my ass! At least I’ll get to spend a little extra time with the boy before heading off to Sugar Grove tonight. Even though we were cheated out of our ½ day, I brought him late to school this morning. We cruised around listening to the Monkees. What a coupla punk rock scofflaws! Maybe this is why people should not take me seriously in the Shorty v. US Maple debate (or any of my musical observations) – I spend my mornings cruising with a four year old listening to the Theme From the Monkees over and over again. Today we came to the conclusion that the real lyrics ought to be:

We’re too busy singing
To go to Bunny Town

The State Was Bad

I’m not trying to start trouble here. I’m pretty sure it is a debate that most people will not give two hoots in a hog’s ass about(???). The comments about Shorty and U.S. Maple the other day got me to thinking. I know I’m in the minority for liking U.S. Maple more. It’s not because they sold more records or got more “famous” (and I’m sure that’s the wrong word). Shorty rocked harder live and on record. No doubt. Uh, both bands rocked harder than no doubt. Honestly, there are two reasons why I like U.S. Maple more:

1. The lyrics are better
2. US Maple offered the world of rock a bigger FUCK YOU!

Number 2 may be the real bullshitty side of me coming out. I’m one of those idiots that thinks there ought to always be bands out there making the grown-ups go, “What is this shit? This is a bunch of garbage that doesn’t mean anything!” That’s what people said when they first heard little Richard and Jerry Lee. Maybe I should get a big time machine, travel back to the 50’s and pretend I’m the Creed guy. At least the blogosphere would be rid of me.

The non-bullshit, slightly more sincere side of me really does love the lyrics. Consider:


LETTER TO ZZ TOP (excerpt)
And well I’m just saying Yeah
get washed up and go downtown to
where they’re playin
and say_______________you asshole
And talk Chinese on your hands and
Knees to
All the women


MAGIC JOB (excerpt)
When I’m alone there
and I sit and I sip on a soda

and I go home
and I sleep
and I dream
about that magic job


THE STATE WAS BAD (excerpt)

Girls there well they all got a groom
so I just sat and in a state that’s
bad and all the men man well they
are just like dad so I just said yeah



The lyrics above are all from the first record.

So in response to the comments in the last post and one via e-mail – Shorty probably rocked harder and the arrangements were tighter, maybe even more interesting with less tweedling and teasing and more in-your-face rock. But the US Maple lyrics still fascinate me. They grab me as much as anything by David Yow, Nick Drake, Ray Davies, or Bob Dylan. I mentioned in the previous post my love for the Squirrel and PDawg as songwriters and believe me – I’m interested in everything they do. Either one of those guys write something and I’m gonna pay attention (I’ve mentioned I’m a bad fan of music and sometimes I listen to things in a half-assed way – never w/ Alex and MM). As much as I love the songs from the Squirrel and the PDawg, I envy AJ as a writer. Again, not for the success or acclaim. Really. I wish I thought of this shit first.


You know what will get you you know where
_______________________and so it goes dee dee dee

Hated It

I reread the list below (not to be confused with the Love Below, sorry Andre 3000…and/or Bill Garver 3000). I will be making changes to it throughout the week as time permits.

Kizzzzzzeszzz

Don't Forget to Get Some PDawg

At long last there is a PDawg link over to the side. I’ve been meaning to do this forever. I love his blog. Kim and I read it everyday. I finally got off my ass and put the link up tonight because PDawg finally got off his ass and posted music by his two previous bands (Klugggggs & Luminous). This is must have stuff. Get yourself some. Stop reading this blog and start downloading. I’ll be here when you come back.

OK. PDawg putting this stuff up (and all the old school DK blogs) got me to start thinking about my favorite DK rock songs. I’m going to list them in no particular order. I am not going to include any songs I did with the fB the Not So Great You Know Whats (or even the Swen Parsons Project). Obviously I like the stuff I was a part of or I wouldn’t have wasted so much time and treasure getting the stuff out there, playing live, recording, blah, blah, blah. I think I called Time and Treasure once. But these are more songs or DK music that I was a fan of…You can't be a fan of yourself. If you were in a band that was not included in this list, or your favorite DK song isn’t on this list, or you think one of the songs on my list totally sucks ass – remember, I am an idiot.

1. ROCKET MAN - Shorty, Dev will argue to the death that Shorty was a better band than U.S. Maple. I don’t agree but I love this song. “Aieyyyeeee – Rocket Man Rocket man! Hi-yahhh!”
2. LONGER LASTING – Luminous, the song is perfect and anything I say won’t really do it justice. I love the Moog. – see, right there I ruined it. People have some nice things to say about the whole Luminous record. Read the kind words over at the PDawg’s hole (if he hasn’t nuked the compliments).
3. WHY? – Sunfrog, “Why you got to be like that? Why do I have to be like that?” When all the DK rock stars hated my rancid, rotting poppified guts, Pat (who worked at Subway and saw my fat ass all the time) was nice to me.
4. LIAR – Rod Almighty “HATE, PAIN, HATE, PAIN, HATE, PAIN, HATE, PAIN – LIAR, LIAR, LIAR!” Actually anything by the Rod qualifies as my favorite stuff from DK rock music. Maybe it’s because of the time period when I returned to DK – but they were my favorite band here. PDawg may be my favorite songwriter, but to be honest, I’d rather see the Rod live on a bad night than most bands on a good night and that’s that.

Aside – Two best All DK Double Bill shows I went to…
1. Klugs/Rod Q101 show
2. Moss/Bog in the basement of Otto’s. Chris and I sat in the front row drinking our thirsty-two ouncers the whole night. At the end of the Moss set we looked at each other and said: “Moss.” When Bog finished, we looked at each other and said: “Bog.” Then we went home.

BACK TO THE LIST

5. JUNKFOOD PUSSY – Festers, probably not their best song but I love how MS’s voice sounds w/ the band when he sings “Junk!”
6. WATERCOLORSOUND - the Klugmaknotts – I can see the disc but it’s too far out of reach to check if I spelled the name right. You know who I am talking about and if you do, you know why the song is great.
7. SQUEEGIE BOY/ANAPHYLAXIS/MOM - Bog, I loved hearing the playback of new Notorious B.O.G. tracks. Alex was making this record at the same time he was making current for us.
8. MALT LIQUOR - Figora, look as far as body of work goes (ok, I'm getting way too serious about this shit) the Squirrel and the PDawg have it all over these guys. But if rock 'n roll is about the truth, have there ever been truer words than: "It tastes like shit but it gets you drunk quicker!"????
9. SWEET LOAD - Shame, borrowing from the world of "found" porno art will always make me a fan. I stalked the Velvet Underground for years. I'm not sure if I can remember a single live performance, I was in and out of DK (and consciousness) at this time in my life. I hung out for practices. Did I ever mention that I am Devin's graduate student. I also played the tape over and over until it busted in the '92 Sunbird tape deck. I was 10 kinds of cool. I think Bob Weston made the rcording, but I could also be 10 kinds of wrong. Jeanz? Anybody?
10. OLD DOG PARODIES @ OPEN STAGE - Old Dog, that shit was always gold. The only thing better is Old Dog kereoke. He hasn't done an open mic for years but I hear that he is working on an all bass version of the Doors' song The End called This is the Low End.
11. LEE VAN KLEEF IS THE BAD – Ploop, um, RRROCK!!!!! 1st live performance was my fav.
12. BIG MUFF PI - Ploop again. I learned math and history while listening to this song. What more do you want...and Dev & To'D did the "Aieeyeee..." from ROCKET MAN.
13. JULIA (yes that Julia) – Crazy Shawn at Open Stage. Most disturbing cover ever! “Uh, you guys got my pedal.” Actually I liked being his neighbor and I miss him.
14. IZZY JEUS the whole Valentine’s Day show. It was a beautiful night and the way I like to remember our friend.
15. PINT OF NO RETURN – the Tossers, because I played this tape over and over until the people riding with me up to Madison mutinied and threw my tape out the window. Thanks a lot jerks.
16. JEN F. behind the drums. She could play behind Ricki fucking Martin and make his music kick ass. She was/is my single-most favorite DK rock star. It wasn’t that she was unflappable or that she was a superbadass. She loved rock and had guts. That’s what it’s all about folks.

Ok, technically the hokey pokey is what it’s all about – but JF would’ve rocked that piece of shit too!

I’m out.

Public Diplomacy

These guys put the "dip" in diplomacy. If anyone thinks that putting g bushy’s right hand girl in charge of the State Department’s spin room helps anything – let me say this:

“You should consider recalibrating your expectations.”
“This isn’t to say that you are wrong for believing in the approach the administration has taken, but it is too soon to say that you are right.”
“We never target civilians, sometimes civilians step in front of our targets.”

Maybe we wouldn’t need international damage control if we didn’t damage so many things internationally.

I think I said that.

What am I, Bob Dylan?

Mercifully, no. If I had that sort of format --- let’s just say that I would be the voice of a generation that would eventually make that generation want to say: “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

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Semi-successful day yesterday…I completed the main shit on my shit to do list. I still have to grade a few SOCI 370 quizzes. I’m gonna do that in a bit this morning. Also, I think on Monday’s (or Sunday’s – maybe on Sunday because nobody needs to kill time at work reading the blogs – so I won’t waste others’ time w/ this) – but start making a list of creative, rock whatever crap I want to do for the week. Here it is:

1.) Send TO’D GOITER (he was nice enough to send me his address)
2.) Find the picture of Dying Gaul (sculpture) for possible fB single I WANNA
3.) Compile the pictures for the first cOp single – the guys gave me the go ahead
4.) Talk to Cousin Mike & Bill about an I WANNA single a.) I WANNA b.) Bread ‘n Circuses c.) the making of I WANNA
5.) Send e-mail to Cousin Mike about a possible live to the internets fB show
6.) Send an e-mail to ChrisB about fB live to internets show
7.) See what’s happening with cOP live to internets show
8.) Mail Jeanz and auftn GOITER
9.) Mail DC Liar the fB Live 91-92 cd & SMELL-o-VISION

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OK – great weekend of college basketball! Sox start the season soon…go Boone! Drink some slim fast Big Bobby! Really, I don’t care – they can lose forever – I’ll still love ‘em. If you think I’m a fool – you better stay out of our business. You better stay out of White Sox business! Did I just channel Kenny Williams?

Yes, I am that much of a sucker.

The Mystery of the Tri-Lingual Squirrel

This may be incredibly boring (as opposed to my thrill-a-minute blogs) – but I’m using today’s entry as my Sunday to do list. If I can’t get these things done, I will consider myself publicly humiliated.

1.) Finish editing new Madison M&R Notes for Religion and the Constitution Class
2.) E-mail notes to students working on Madison (and the Moderns) paper.
3.) Mail the CIti & Komcast bills
4.) DO the rest of the bills.
5.) Grade the remainder of the SOCI 370 quizzes.
6.) Contact the 370 students who filled out their permission slips.
7.) Call my folks.
8.) Do the house stuff for KJ

We had a great night last night. I finally got to take Kim on her birthday shopping spree. At Menurds we saw a squirrel baffle. One side of the box was in English, one in Spanish and the third side was in French (a future blog will be dedicated to the mysteries of the three sided box). Along with the names of the product, the instructions and features being in all three languages – there was a drawing of a squirrel with a thought bubble on each side (a future blog will be dedicated to the mysteries of the sentient squirrel). On the English side the squirrel thought: “It really works.”

The French side?

“Ce functionne, vraiment!”

Incroyable!

The squirrel’s French is better than mine.

Gonna Tell On You Reviews

I thought since I put up most of the Der Fun Barrel reviews, I'd also insert (I said insert) the reviews for the first fB song Cousin Mike put on garageband. My thinking here is - garage band, like the rest of western civilization is going to be smashed to smithereens, and when all that is left of our culture is my blog...people will be able to read these lovely reviews. OK - who thinks I have delusions of grandeur - stand up so we can all see how perceptive you are!

Cacophonic orgasm of drunken crazy folks
This has a very crazy mix. The guitar is mixed very loud as opposed to the vocals which are mixed more softly, almost impossible to catch the lyrics. But the vocals do have a punky angry sound. It sounds like the musicians are having fun and not to interested in hitting the right notes / chords. I would call this song a cacophonic orgasm of drunken crazy folks.
I love the ending! cool guitar effect.
- camdie from West Side Of, Michigan on 18Feb2006

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Crunchy like chips
crunchy guitars lend a nice effect...then the vocals remind me of Guided By Voices a bit...are you chaneling Pollard or just drinking alot like him. Nice song. Makes me want to have a drink and moove around a bit...sounds punkish experamental. Nice guitar solo all messed up and every thing..you have created a mood here...and it feels real. Keep it up and perhaps play around with it even a bit more.
- slowminded from Park Row, Texas on 17Feb2006

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boring after one minute.
Great guitar sound- I like it. Very single coil!!! A true garage song...But it's boring after one minute. Thank you for entertaining me though.
- stainlessband from Denmark on 17Feb2006

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I'm going to tell on you
The song starts with a cool dirty guitar tone sounds like the guitar is playing through a transitor radio with a ripped speaker. I was waiting for a really awesome sounding production and full groovy band to kick but... It just goes on and on with this guitar and someone singing in the distance for 5 minutes.

Hmmm... Too bad.
- bruceglam from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on 17Feb2006

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horrible
this must be a joke
- seanbrodie from Hiltop, New Jersey on 15Feb2006

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think Ummagumma
Starting with bootleg quality recording, illegible vocals, electic guitar, no bass, no drums, hanging out naked and raw... wait a minute, some bass might be present...Jimmy Page on a really bad night sorta sound... no, we left that behind, we are just whanging on Mr guitar here ... going very early Pink Floyd live on an uninspired night.... "I'm gonna tell you" ...

Guys, this is a bit too spare and undirected to get traction. Find a drummer to give this some foundation, and give it another go.
- billiamx33 from Queen Creek, Arizona on 15Feb2006

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dothan's review
i understand experimental, but please, respect what u do. learn to record, play guitar with dynamics, write better lyrics
- Dothan from Chicago, Illinois on 15Feb2006

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Lo fi treasure
I love songs like this that rely on nothing but very simple chord progression and song style but are able to pull off very original results. Would love to see this live. Like the thing that sounds like a theremin in the background.
- TheLordBovarys from Sioux Falls, South Dakota on 14Feb2006

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.
the production on this is horrible. from what i can hear, the voice seem bad. it's just a guy screaming with some basic guitar playing. Altough you do ad some noisier guitar trough the track wich is a nice change...at least you seem to have fun wich is already good
- desertedparking from Quebec, Canada on 14Feb2006

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Clean it up!
Not sure if it's the recording or the sound you're going for, just thought it sounded sloppy and unpolished. Sounds empty at times, consider turning up the bass. Maybe I just don't get where you were going with this one.
- friendswithpills from Antioch, California on 14Feb2006

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Okay
Experimental anything is hard to critic because I don't know what you're being experimental with, however I think these should be fixed:

1. The singing. It was horribly out of tune. The guy was interesting, but I couldn't get past the pitchiness.

2. The production. The vocals need to be turned up and the guitars need to be turned down. It was frustrating because I'd just hear this mumbling.

The guitar playing was good. I like the jam. It was like a less epic mars volta jam.

Nothing too revolutionary, but still alright.
- LittleRedString from Unspecified on 13Feb2006

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A letter of love
Bombs are falling from the sky...or is that whistling. A bit on the grungy side. I can't hear the vocals at all. No drums. No bass. Nice. Hi bandwith check...yes.
- guitar510 from Unspecified on 13Feb2006

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sounds like bombs
This song started and the first thing I noticed was the killer guitar intro. I also really enjoyed the slight whistling sound in the background. It made me think of missiles being fired. I really love how the guitar works with this song. The vocals are very well. I really enjoy the screeching of them at times. Keep up the good work.
- sabertoothcavit from Albuquerque, New Mexico on 13Feb2006

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Original
Cool sound. Havn't heard a theramin in a long time! Vocals are out of pitch but suit the style. Cool band!
- ogradypeter from Booterstown, Dublin, Ireland on 13Feb2006

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Wavy Gravy
the crazy wavy gravy. I dig it alot. the psycho rage rant of rock and roll. rock on
- kosmotelepsycho from Sewell, New Jersey on 13Feb2006

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good
Really free music. Pure expression. Leonard Cohen once said about Bob Dylan " He's trapped in the act of anarchy" I think the same applies to you guys. I like it! Little bit a "The Fall" vibe. Keep it up.
- KevinNolan from Dublin City, Ireland on 13Feb2006

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egads
It's a jolly good song, i suppose, but i can't pick out anything beyond a general cacophony of sound... ie noise. Which is quite obviously what they were going for... i just can't get into it. It's kinda snappy, of course, and it gets the toes tapping. In a musical way, mind you... more of a 'killing cockroaches in the corner' fashion. But it's original, and i like that. The world needs more originality. Not enough of that in today's musical world. To say the least.
- randakk from Pikeville, North Carolina on 12Feb2006

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no nico
Room reeverb. That's the closest to The Velvet Underground that I've been. Droning our emotion in effects. The fact that the vocals are screaming in a room adds to the power of the song. This is pretty dirty also, and mysterious, in a way that we cannot hear everything that is going on and that we are not sure to understand it all.
- BarlosWine from Quebec, Canada on 12Feb2006

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Needs Studio Work
It sounds horrible -- the quality of the recording that is. I can't hear the vocals over the guitar and they sound like they are coming out of a tin can. This song needs to be taken back to the studio and reworked.
- TheStops from New York City, New York on 12Feb2006

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well..
not really my cup o tea, sounds like a cross between the butthole surfers and dead kennedys.. for the style it's just fine. in myt happy little world though I would have taken some more time in the production department.. then again this style of music doesn't require that sort of thing.
- mikeslurry from Lawrence, Kansas on 12Feb2006

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Woodstock
This song could definately use some stronger transitions.. They are in poor places.

I think you're going a bit overkill with the guitar flanger as well. I'd tone it down a little, as well as the high gain. The guitar is very grainy sounding.

Not a bad tune overall if you're going for a 70's rock kind of thing.
- ThisStarlitComa from Unspecified on 12Feb2006

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Original, but you can't hear much but the gui..
The guitar was very loud, albeit original, but it was a bit too loud. You could hardly hear the singing at all, and when you did hear it I'm sorry to say it sounded horrible. Then all of a sudden another guitar comes in (I think it was another) and just starts shredding and playing random notes like someone who has never played guitar ever before. It sounds the worst at 3:00, just utter chaos, and not a good sounding chaos. This song needs a lot of work, there needs to be a bass to add depth. The song could also use drums to hold the beat together, and maybe even a piano to take away from the guitar. This song needs a lot of help, but first get rid of the guitar "solo".
- RogueTrisomy from Burton, Ohio on 12Feb2006

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Rubbish
This is horrid. A bunch or f***** noise that is poorly recorded. Why the h*** do I have to waste my time with this s***. I have a feeling you are taking the approach that if you don't try you can't fail. Well you have already failed by not trying.
- AATSF from Green Bay, Wisconsin on 12Feb2006

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maybe if it was 30 seconds long
I expected the beginning to be an intro...I didn't think it would more or less carry on throughout the entire song. I know it is probably very hard to entertain someone for over 5 minutes (the length of the song) with just abusing your guitar and singing every once in awhile, but entertained I was not.
Maybe this could work as the background for someone OD'ing in a cult movie no one watches, but as a "sit, listen, and enjoy" track, this misses the mark, in fact, the archer was aiming in the opposite direction.
- millerrocks from Unspecified on 12Feb2006

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Bombastic
Sounds like Donkey Kong throwing bombs. Not so much experimental as disjointed and bombastic. Can't understand the words.
- bgypsies from Sierraville, California on 12Feb2006

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Salvatore Dali painting.
The lo-fi guitar is cool, Cake meets Radiohead. The newscaster vox is also cool. I like the mayhem, twisting into a Kinks song almost. I gotta give you credit for attempting this kinda thing. Takes gut to do something no one else has tried. You might want to let some of the other elements breathe though, the lo-fi guitar dominates too much (for my tastes anyway.) of course, maybe that's what you were after? Feel like I'm listening to a Salvatore Dali painting.
- RubberRoad from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada on 12Feb2006

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Stripped
I don't know if I totally get this. It reminds me of P.I.L. and early,* early* Husker Du.

I could use more arrangement form overall and just a smidge more production on the guitars. I like the stark vocals the way they are.
- d_engisch from Elizabeth, New Jersey on 11Feb2006

More from Last NIght?

/the String

SHE WINDS
THE THING
SHE NEEDS

THE TIME
TO SLEEP
TO BREATHE

TO FIND
THE THING
SHE NEEDS

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TO SEE
THE STRING
SHE NEEDS

SHE NEEDS
TO SLEEP
TO FIND

THE THING
SHE NEEDS
TO SLEEP

Oh Goodness Gracious

So the S&P finally loses that batrillion dollar Frito it has up its ass and decides Go0oooogle is ok, even though they (da Googleerzzz) don’t offer investors earning predictions. The old school Street dicks who held their noses up can now feel free to suck it. The fact that there are some so dedicated to a convention like predicting future earnings (even if only for the next quarter)…these things help demonstrate how utterly mindless MINDLESS CONVENTIONS CAN BE! I’m no economist but haven’t overly optimistic earnings predictions (not to say out and out balance sheet fuckery) led to troubles minor and major in recent years?

Yes it may invite mischief but it’s our mindless convention.

Good for Goo0oo0oogle. First the Dutch Auction for the initial offering, now this. Whoever is behind this grand strategy at G let me say that it is beautiful to someone like me. A “tech” stock, something from the realm of the new, bucks the system in part by returning to business principles from the past (uh, sort of). The history of the Dutch Auction is fascinating to me. Now exhibiting a sort of grand old air of confidence: ‘We don’t need to project our earnings. We are making money now. That should be good enough for you.’

Do I think more businesses should follow the example of Goo00oogle, or this should be the way of the future? Hell no! I don’t care about someone leading the lemmings to economic Valhalla. I'm not even sure that Goo000ooo000gle is doing the right thing in the short, or long term. I just like the renegade. I love the outsider. Yeah, it’s a billion dollar outsider – but an outsider nonetheless.

Did I mention I love blogger?

Good Work Mr Old Dog

It's two practices in a row that the OD has come up with some descending bass line from his nether regions and we've come up with something pretty decent around it. I'm still listening to the new thing. It's way too late for this. Tonight was a success.

Bed.

How Did They Know?

Scotch-gaurd
I'm guessing you guys were sitting around late one night .. and had a couple of scotch-gaurd cans just itching to be smoked. Success was at hand on that night. This is nothing short of Ween around the time they made the Pod. The song is fun .. it's lo-fi goodness and I love the pot and pan drumming. Great song!
- thefuzzybunny from Rochester, New York on 19Mar2006

Go0ooo0oogle Lockheed Martin and Shutup!

I think the lack of commas was intentional. This is going to sound like a defense of someone I know but believe me this has more to do with my hatred of non-news news, and something even worse.

Is this a newsflash to anyone?: Those in power afford friends and loved ones certain opportunities. Is that a surfuckingprise to anyone??? Who’s surprised? C’mon. Stand up so we can all see how stupid you are.

OK, so this non-news news just wastes a little of my important news junkie time. If that’s all it did it is a small offense. When one descends further into the blogosphere and the non-news news then morphs into Kafkaesque absurdity that’s when I start saying fuck through the stupid grin on my face. Then the little monster that was once simply non-news news seeps into the blogs of actual political candidates, message boards for people who are even bigger losers than I am and then is ram jetted back out through the coarse voices of the Internet Freedom Now boobs. The harmless non-news news becoming this mindless mass of bullshit makes the case for: INTERNET FREEDOM NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!

When you hear arguments that Go0o0ogle will now c.i.a. (cover it’s ass, not our CIA which seems to be unable to do that when it needs to most) re: information and suppression in Chynnnnnnnaaaa and is seeking Washington insider access to do so – that horseshit smells worse than the newly re-released floating Basement track on garageband (don’t forget to get yourself some). When you have to wade through the dot connectors who suggest inside access for Lockheed Martin has been part of a grand Elephant Strategy to create and prolong WARRE (that’s how Hobbes spells it) in IRock – I want to engage in hostilities with the blogosphere. Me ‘n D-Chain, whippin’ out our blunderbusses and blastin’ away at a few zeroes and ones. Oh, but I’ll only go shootin’ if D-Chain brings the beer this time.

Here’s a real news picture for you: SOMETIMES YOU CONNECT THE DOTS AND THE PICTURE LOOKS LIKE A BIG PIECE OF SHIT! Maybe I should cave in to the bullshit Chinatown Jake Gitzzzz logic of ‘You want to find the evil source of the problem follow the money’ – turn off my brain and call it a day. But remember right before I drift into my sweet semi-self-induced coma twilight, consider this my last attempt to reject the non-news noise:

SONnnnY IS AN EVIL FUCKING ENTITY (check)

People who make airplane (and the like) parts want access to govt contracts (check)

Big internets interests want to increase their influence in the District (check)

And re: a grand elephant scheme to instigate and promulgate this warrrrrre…

It seems like gbushy does not care how many elephants (or donkeys) he hangs out to dry in pursuit of what he wants to call success in IRock. His little crew really believes the legacy of this asssministration hinges on what happens in IRock. They wouldn’t let their guy take questions from Helen T yesterday or engage in the current media strategy if that wasn’t their primary, not to say only concern. I’m an idiot – but I can connect these dots.

You know, in decrying rumor and innuendo – I think I have put enough of those things in my blog that I have officially become what I hate.

…as if that hadn’t already happened years ago.

...and Whoever this Person is...

...they are a fucking genius. Check out this review for Der Fun Barrel:

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Yippie!!!!
Is the point of this song to capture the vibe of a long night of drinking???Were you expecting some good reviews for this? Basically if this song was presented to professional musicians in the form of sheet music maybe it could be turned into something decent,I dont know. It almost seems to me like a mockery of the Garageband contest. But if this is what your into...I wouldnt be surprised if this was recorded from the built in microphone of a $25 boombox from 1988. Drink up! (or something)
- shabgoid from Rockford, Illinois on 21Mar2006


I think they even got the model year of our Sony Boom Box right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More Big Band News

OK - Chris put up the new Century of Progress tracks - y'all get yourselves some. Cousin Mike just upchucked...er, uploaded a new (reissued) fB track to garageband. Here's what people think:

Mr. Santoni Man?
Are these the guys that wrote Mr. Santoni Man? The pots and pans being played are quite intriguing. Are they 10 inch or 14 inch pots? The lyrics about Howard Stern are a bit pointless, but I love the line about hitting someone on the head with a fish. Whoever reviews this review....THESE ARE ACTUALLY PARTS OF THE SONG!!!! I think this band is insane, but I admire their gumption.
- torynado from Stewartstown, Pennsylvania on 21Mar2006

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Bass solo take 1
The tone on the bass reminds me of Old Cliff Burton from Metallica. Tis sounds like a very fun recording. I like the innovative banging goin on like pots and pans or dumbells or somethin. The singer is on all kinds of drugs for sure. The singer sounds like the circus ringleader. This is really interesting to listen to.
It's pretty strange.
Hit you on the head with a big ol fish!
It reminds me of the guy who fights the Mongolians on southpark who screams about sweet and sour pork!
- PYRAMIX from Galveston, Texas on 21Mar2006

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bushmills
these instrument sounds are the best ever.too bad it was a childish joke.
Thought i found some true avant garde punk.
- kunstscheise from Unspecified on 21Mar2006

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Give it back, man!!
Remember when guitars used to soothe the soul? Anyone from Neil Young to the Sex Pistols use to change the world with a swift strum of the old axe. Tom Waits wants his pipes back and I want my love of guitar sounds back!!
- octoberman from Canada on 20Mar2006

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Amateurish At Best
Seems like nothing more than a poorly recorded attempt at avant weirdness, it just came off as sloppy and crude. Rhythmically, it was awkward and didn;t quite gel, and the vocalist sounded like he was trying to impersonate Jello Biafra.

Nice try but missed by a mile.
- TheOwlWatches from Atlanta, Georgia on 20Mar2006

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Very Experimental
I like lots of types of experimental music but this type isnt really my kind. The repetitive percussion and grating vocal doesnt do anything for me. I did like the acoustic guitar at the beginning and end and the vocal effects at the coda of the song. The simple guitar riff running throughout the song is catchy. It the song changed direction even once at least then it could have been a more interesting piece, in my opinion.
- robpr from Australia on 20Mar2006

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More idea than song
Mix could be cleaned up a bit unless you are going for the older vintage tone. Although different, I like the pots and pans drums. Not impressed with the lyrics. Sounds like something the Residents or the Violet Femmes would do. The song is too long to not have any signifigant changes.
- goliathstudios from Austin, Texas on 19Mar2006

I'm so excited - these are the best reviews yet!!!!

A Great Fucking Weekend

Here’s what I think I’ve learned this week.

1.) Love does NOT conquer all.
2.) Love can get you in a whole bunch of trouble.
3.) Love alone can’t get you out of said trouble.
4.) Love is part of the reason why two people in it do not always fight fair.
5.) If you want to expose a person’s weakness, find out what they love.
6.) Love is real.
7.) Real is love.
8.) That song was a lot cooler when I was 14.
9.) Love can make you want to beat your own head against a wall until all that remains is a bloody stump that used to be your own neck and some wall dust flying around.
10.) Love is worth it.

Thank you God for giving Kimberly Jo to the world for these 35 years and please let her have 100 more.
Thank you Kim for sharing the last 15 with me.
I hope you had a good birthday weekend.
I love you.

A New Link?!?!

OK ChrisB has been tapping his little fingers away. He’s added two new tracks from the studio in Elgin to the Action City page. I’ve done less tapping but just enough to add the Action City page as a link. Check out STUPID NOW and DIL…let us know what you think either on the Action City comments or here.

Got to get ready to go to work. Have a fun weekend everybody. It’s Kimberly Jo Birthday weekend around here so life is pretty good.

This Could Be Heaven

I was a little pissed (Wed) because Dr. B did not tell us Alex would be having X-rays. Going to the dentist is traumatic enough…then that tongue displacement thingy wrecks (sp? Jeanz) havoc with the boy’s gag reflex. He wants to help too…breathes through his nose and everything. He doesn’t fight the dentist, it’s just that once the saliva starts welling up and that thing is in his cheek – he starts coughing. That’s why they call it a reflex. Got the X-rays, the checkup and the cleaning done - after all the crap early on, Alex still ended up giving his dentist a big hug.

His reward was going to be a rag ball hockey set. He played hockey w/ his friend Natalie earlier in the week and he loved it. Nat’s mom told Kim the hockey set was at MC Sports in D-Town. Alex and I stopped at MC Sports to pick up the sticks after the dentist. The salesperson told us that the hockey set in question was a seasonal item and they wouldn’t have anymore until next fall at the earliest.

Two bad surprises in a row: 1.) I couldn’t prepare Alex for the x-rays but he overcame that; 2.) The reward I promised him for doing well at the dentist wasn’t going to be available. How would he react? Alex looked over my shoulder and a large, thin smile spread across his face. What was he looking at? A SNOOPY 3 CLUB GOLF SET!!!!!

Alex: “I love watching you golf and I love Snoopy. Can we get that?”
Dad: “You betcha. Are you sure that’s what you want?
Alex: “Yep.”

I tried to hold it together and not jump up and down screaming w/ joy. I don’t care if my son becomes a good or even competent golfer, but it has been a secret dream of Daddy’s that the boy would want to go golfing with his old pop. Now, with no fucking prompting from me – the kid chose the clubs.

Alex: “Can I bring them to the Buena Vista with you?”
Dad: “You sure as hell can boy?”
Alex: “What daddy?”
Dad: “Uh, you sure can boy.”

We brought the clubs home and practiced for an hour in the yard. Alex got up early on Thursday and the first words out of his mouth were: “Good morning golf clubs.”

We practiced for another hour on Thursday – in the fucking snow. Dad doesn’t care. This could be heaven.

Being a dad and the primary caregiver for a good part of the year has been the greatest challenge of my life. I haven’t always met the bell with the right answers or approach. But being a parent, through the hard work and even some failures has changed me. I’m experiencing my usual manic energy in the middle of making a record and making life a little difficult for my collaborators. In the past, when this shit would come up, I’d move into a really dark place. After the little golf episode, all the frustration and hard feelings from early in the week are forgotten. A good day with the kid makes my little troubles evaporate.

This could be heaven.

LINX

I’ve got redo my links. ChrisB does not talk food anymore. He’s trying to give away the gastroblog if anyone wants it. I’m trying to get the Old Dog to be a collaborator w/ me on it and drop the “g” but he doesn’t want any part of that. Elise (the female version of me) dropped off the bloggosphere-o-scape and is nowhere to be found. Dammit – her blog was one of my favorites. I’ve got the archive page for L&E. To quote Jurko (only idiots will know who that is): “I just suck.”

…or at least my links suck. I was so excited when I first put them up. I think I called Dev and said: “I’m htmling.”

His response: “Am I going to have to shoot you?”

Can you feel the love?

I need a PDawg link, maybe a link for the new Old Dog page. If he’s worried about hhhe people seeing his blog, he’s already posted enough comments where they will find it anyhoo. And I love the New Old Dog page. OD, ELise, the gunderblog, and the DC L&E pages are what got me started with all this crap in the first place.

…and a fiery beanbag in Hell awaits all of them for that.

I’m also going to include (soon) a link to my first internets alter-ego page where I will be a chain-smoking fourteen-year-old kid who looks like a skater (circa 1993) but is, in fact a golf nut with hippies for parents who named him Gypsy. Gypsy would change his name but that takes effort and a pen…neither of which he can be bothered to find.

Speaking of linx – I’m pissed, this looks like the first nice (golfable) day…and I have to take my poor little buddy to the dentist. Crap.

Brackettasketballbase

Alex filled out his 1st NCAA Brackets today. He went kind of conservative w/ all #1 seeds (except Villanova) advancing in the opening round. However (imagine Screaming A. Smith saying that) he had Seton Hall beating Belmont in the Finals. I tried not to laugh at him. Hey, who am I laughing at…he’s got as good a shot at picking that thing as I do or anyone does. That’s why they play the games.

Orlando Hernandez pitched against the White Sox today. He pitched the greatest inning of relief in the playoffs I ever saw (actually I heard it at work, then watched it 1,000 times on SportsCenter and Komcast Crap Nite).

Only 19 days until opening night for the Sox. I can’t believe the off-season is almost over. For all the fans of the Blue Team I hope your guys (Prior and DLee) are going to be okay. I like both of those players despite my, uh – prior feelings for that team.

The WhiteSox won the World Series. Reasons for trashing the NorthSiders should have dissipated the moment that John Rooney finished his last radio call ever for the Sox:

“From the stretch with a runner at second…
Here’s the one/two pitch to Palmero…
A ground ball past Jenks up the middle of the infield, Uribe has it…he throws…

OUT! OUT! A White Sox winner, and a world championship!
The White Sox have won the World Series and they’re mobbing each other on the field.

The celebration is on the mound right now, at Minute Maid Park in Houston on Wed. Oct. 26, 2005 the White Sox have won their first World Championship since 1917…and the players are absolutely going wild on the infield.

Enjoy the celebration Chicago, this is long overdue.”

As pathetic as this may sound to some…when I have dark moments I play that stupid radio call back on my cel and life is just a little bit sweeter.

There was a point during last season, one of those long, wonderful (and never-ending) games in the dog days of summer when Crede (I think) was coming back from a minor, but nagging injury. Ed Farmer said: “Joe’s day-to-day folks, just like the rest of us.”

Amen to that.

Fourteen

All I know is what we know today
After fourteen minutes here’s what’s left to save
All I know is this is not the way
To do no harm, to help someone today

When we keep the meat alive til there’s nothing left to save
When we keep the meat alive til there’s nothing left to save

Maybe we should try to help somebody
Maybe we should try to find someone to save
Maybe we should try to just do nothing
Maybe we should try to do no harm today

Maybe we should try to help somebody
Maybe we should try to find someone to save
Maybe we should try to help somebody
Maybe we should try to find someone to save

Tell myself
When to pick it up and put it down
I should know
When to pick it up and put it down
Here’s a note
I wrote this thing when I was feeling down
Down and out
Why’d I have to try and write this down

Here’s a note
I wrote down something I should say to you
To help me out
And remember that one thing we have to do
Tell myself
I try to tell myself something new
I should know
If we can’t work it out what we can do

...but a Special Thank You

Thanks to everyone helping me with my crazy musical release ideas, letting me think out loud here, offering to help and providing feedback. I’m all choked up – like the time that snake wrapped itself around Bill Garver’s innocent neck: "Help me ed. I think I'm dying."

…but a special thanks goes out to two, two named girls – Kimberly Jo and Mary Kay for posting on my blog for the first time ever. Someday you too will be using the internets to call me a shithead.

I can’t wait.

Whacked, and why my spellcheck rocks

Trixie made a delicious dinner for Bill’s little crew last night. A good time was had by us. Nobody got whacked.

“They were the ones who were whackin’….”

Sorry Hank Hill.

Sorry Martin Scorsese.

Oh my golly – Scorsese’s last name ended up in my spell check. That is so cool. You know you’ve made it when you’re in a spell check. You don’t want to know the alternate spellings offered for my last name.

I’m on break but I’ve got a lot of shit to do. I made the dopey coP singles list down below (huh huh huh – I said down below)

…sorry Mike Judge.

So I have to do all the stuff on the singles list by Tuesday. I’ve also got to get back on the stick w/ re-doing GOITER at LNL (the covers will look so much better there than the crappy thing I did on my own…I just suck).

Then re-start the fB HATES YOU master tapes reclamation process. That sounds more impressive than it actually is. Actually, after reading it again – it doesn’t even sound that impressive. The HATES YOU thing is tricky because I don’t want to spoil the cool edits Bill did….but the original tracks just sound so much better than the final dubbed down things (I guess our boom boxes were on their last legs at this point).

On the domestic front I’ve got to take care of some insurance crap today…Alex has to the dentist this week, that’s always fun – what else???? I don’t think anybody cares about this.

I’m loving the flikkkr pages. I didn’t know ChirsB had so much stuff up there. I prowled through it last night searching for cool pictures to put all over these singles – and I’ve found some. His big rocket pictures kicked my ass. Sometimes a picture of a big rocket is just a picture of a big rocket.

It was late.

I was lonely.

Anytime

…sorry My Morning Jacket

I’m serious about using this Century of Progress singles project to promote our little quartet of love. I’m pretty geeked up. The one thing I learned from re-doing the fB CDs is to come up with a very simple list that involves steps rather than a plan and then work with others (thanks CM, who do their own steps and everything works better). Back to examples from the realm of baseball (in this case fake-ass baseball – Bull Durham “Don’t think Meat. Just throw.”).

Step the First: talk to the boys which if I don’t e-communicate w/ ‘em by Thurs I’ll probably see the cOp band people at practice.

Step the Second: $, which I think I have without asking the other guys to throw in for my crazy scheme. Dev’s got a baby, OD & ChrisB have put up enough money for recording and I don’t know how in love those guys are w/ this idea. I am in love with the idea. I think I’m gonna do it anyhow and deal with the consequences. Life’s more interesting that way.

Step the Third: e-mail mrgunderson. Chris sent me a blog that had the Frogs Racially Yours (the cover and a list in order of MP3s from the record). It was done on blogger. Gunderson is trying to spend more time working on his own projects which I totally respect – but he said if we ever need help w/ blogger related shit (since he helped bring some of us over here) he’d pitch in. So I need to tt Gundy and make (who knows?) a special bloger page linked to the Action City page Chris set up – just for ppl (oooh, now I’m cool) to download our little singles.

Step the Fourth: e-mail DC Liar, I saw four pics on his flickr page that would be perfect for the first two CD singles. I’ll throw myself at his mercy and say: “I can’t pay you anything unless God forbid a real label wants to put this out. But I have beer.” He’ll go for that.

Once I’ve completed tasks one thru four I can focus on the best way to do my little dupes for the first thang. Pretty exciting (well, if not to everyone else, to me).

…um, that may be the new unofficial official title for this blog: Stuff that's Pretty Exciting (well, if not to everyone else then at least to me). It's catchy.

Singles

No practice this week and that always bums me out. All the crap on the good times post cheered me up.

But the good times post is cursed.

That's bad.

But it comes with a free frogurt.

That's good.

But the frogurt is also cursed.

That's bad.

Where the hell did that come from?

I've been thinking about what we're doing at LNL and the more I think about it, the more I think Century of Progress should be (for now and for the foreseeable future) a singles band. I've always sort of wanted to do that. Robbie G and I had a sort of thing like that going for awhile when I first moved back to Lockport. We'd get together on a Friday to do one song (and to not go out drinking at a Lockport establishment).

I should probably talk to Chris and Dev (I already said something to the OD at work - he loved the idea) about this before talking about it on my stupid blog.

I want Any Questions (and don't throw rocks at the computer DC Liar - but Water too) associated with the new incarnation of our band (whatever that means) - but they (and I think all three of 'em are right about this) don't think that the song sounds right w/ the things we're doing at Larry's and one EP or longer thing w/ songs done w/ the Squirrel and at LNL will be a mess. So maybe I'll just go back, do some layout stuff w/ ChrisB or something (Dev's really good at this but he's fucking busy as hell with the beautiful little baby)...

If nothing else we will have three short, sort of creative things to give away at shows and on the internets rather than one longer, disjointed thing. More on this (maybe) later.

...ah, Good Times

My friends are spending a lot of time talking about getting old. While they have expressed some of their deeply held beliefs and feelings on the matter and how getting old is changing their perspective on life and what it’s for, I can’t help thinking about Cephalus’ (his name means “head” heh heh heh) speech on the virtues or peace that comes with old age. Near the beginning of the Republic, the impish Socrates asks Cephalus (the oldest man present) what it’s like to be so old. Rather than being insulted by this questions, Cephalus offers the following, somewhat good natured response:

“I was once present when the poet was asked by someone, ‘Sophocles, how are you in sex? Can you still have intercourse with a woman?’ ‘Silence man,’ he said. ‘Most joyfully did I escape it, as though I had run away from a sort of frenzied and savage master.’ I thought at the time that he had spoken well and I still do. For, in every way, old age brings great peace and freedom from such things.”

We quickly learn that Cephalus’ view of what might be called mores, his piety and his understanding of justice and human virtue are shaky at best…and this passage is the first evidence we have for that. Old age is good because we don’t get horny (says you Cephalus!!!). It’s actually one of the cutest passages from the Republic.

My friends who have talked about such things are doing so in a much more serious way…getting older and how it relates to their understanding of human happiness – what it means to be happy – the old ‘so why am I not happy’ question. Regarding the last statement, I don’t mean to trivialize it by saying “it’s the old something or other” – it’s the old ‘so why am I not happy’ question – because the question has legs, it rings true to all of us (unless we have been so dulled by reality TV we no longer have any perspective on our own life). Oh, if you're insulted by my reality TV comment - I apologize, just give the blog the finger or something.

I’m gonna sound like a prick here (but when has that stopped me from saying anything before) – since turning 30 I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I haven’t escaped the frenzied and savage master of sex (my poor wife will attest to the fact that getting old hasn’t “helped” me in that regard). I’ve learned to be less of a dick in my thirties. I’ve learned to understand more about what failure is and what my past failures mean. I haven’t been tamed, dulled or satisfied with my station in my life – or made peace with my past, present or future or any crap like that. I’m not even saying that understanding I claim to have is a function of being in my thirties…but I’m happier now because it’s at this time that I have a better understanding of these things.

Understanding my life in terms of failure and what failure v. happiness means is made clear (or clearer) to me when I think about why I love baseball. Santi’ll back me on the baseball side. Ted Williams (the greatest hitter who ever lived) said: “At the plate, if you don’t fail one time out of three they put you in the Hall of Fame.” I need to raise my average a little, but once I can learn to only fail one time out of three – I’m goin’ to Cooperstown.

Maybe in my forties…

Hey - Bonds really started hitting home runs in his forties and it's working out OK for him isn't it?

After Much Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth

…we have the mixes from last Thursday. They came via snail mail. I’ve got to say, even though there were some really dark moments at the end of this mixdown (especially after dev & ChrisB left) I’m really f’in happy w/ the results – at least for STUPID NOW. Chris was right about what the track need – and I think we found the right level to have the new Dev guitar relative to the original track. We just needed to augment or add a little bite to the original guitar. We pulled it off and the three guitar Dev and ed sandwich sounds pretty good. Sorry for any readers who now have a “we pulled it off” and “Dev and ed sandwich” set of images burned into their skulls.

I’m not sure what to make of DIL. OD’s heard it and he likes it. I don’t know if he’s sent them to Dev and/or ChrisB. We’ll try to practice this week and then find out what everyone thinks. Progress is so slow on this thing – but it’s been worth it…especially for the way STUPID NOW sounds. It was worth taking the time because I think we have what we want. It no longer bugs me that our project takes so long…and it’s definitely easier for all of us to work together – especially since the two most restless souls in the band (musically anyway – me and ChrisB) are working on multiple projects. One of the things that made the middle to the end of the Not So Great You Know Whats such a drag was my frustration at having all these new songs to do – but Chris and Dev being in another band. I know I’ve talked about this before – but now it’s time for me to say what I’ve learned from all my petty jealousy and junk like that.

I no longer feel the same hammer-to-the-throat urgency that I felt back then – ONE because I’m not making this record on somebody else’s dime – TWO playing and recording with the Century of Progress guys is no longer my only outlet. I may have said this before, but walking away from the fB when I did (nobody quits the fB it’s sort of like the mob) but walking away when I did was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I went all in with the You Know Whats and all I got was frustration and trouble with my friends who love me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Now putting the fB records on CD and reworking some of my breather/other solo songs, and really working on the dissertation and the longform bio project – when I work w/ Dev, ChrisB and OD – I’m relaxed and happy (relative to me) and things are going smoothly (despite these other weird things with the mixing procedure that are too geeky to go into here).

Music, the Education of Children and More Shit About Which I am Clueless

My friend Jeanz recently posted this question: “What kind of music are you people (meaning the folks on our Yahoo friends group e-Pissy) playing for your kids?” And like most thoughtful questions, my answer is diversionary in nature – but hopefully not completely unhelpful…whatever it is it certainly is irregrammmaterarical. How did that last monstrosity pass my spell check?...or my grammmaterarical check?

The kid she’s talking about and my kid are the same age – born about a month apart. One would think I might have some great advice for this. Instead, I’ll talk about something I am more familiar with…or I think I had some success in doing. See, I think what Jeanz was asking is: What music do you play a four year old now to spark their love of music, something they will enjoy, maybe provide some help for them brain wise, and as the icing on the cake help them develop good taste in music. If my hints above weren’t clear enough, let me say – I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW TO DO THIS!

I do know is it is important to help your kids be able to listen to music – period. We live in a world where music is losing its meaning. I know that sounds like a hippie, bullshit, fake-ass esoteric thing to say – let me make it sound a bit more “scientific.” Listening to music before the early 20th Century was an event – something we had to go out of our way to experience. Now it’s everywhere, TV, radio, stores, in cars (we can even hear the song Cars, or songs by the band the Cars – in cars), our fucking phones, and yes even the proverbial elevator. How do we prevent ourselves (let alone our precious children) from being desensitized by the glut of music (most of it mind numbingly mind numbing)????

What we did w/ Alex – when he was little, we kept the incidental music in his life to a minimum. TV was off most of the day, even the SportsTalk radio (which is my secret addiction)…when the commercials would come on – I wander over to the radio w/ the boy in the backpack and turn the radio off until I was sure that the commercials w/ their milky-white watered-down and shitty background music was over. During Alex’s first summer, I would come home from hhe and play with the boy in his Gym-inee (don’t ask, although I want to get the grown-up version). While winding down from our play I put on the JS Bach solo cello performances (the YoYo M CBS recordings). I’ll never forget the first time I played this for my son. His eyes opened wide…there was a look on his face like ‘what is this new thing coming into my ears and introducing itself to my brain?’ Most of what Alex listened to his first year was Bach, Mozart's piano sonatas (no rock…except for vanMorrison’s Veedon Fleece and St. Dominic’s Preview).

The point is – I can play him pretty much anything now and he will listen to it, ask questions about what he’s hearing and remember what he’s heard. How do I think I’ve helped my son? I certainly haven’t helped him develop a taste for music in general or for Bach…but those weren't my goals. My only hope was not to over saturate his beautiful brain when he was so impressionable and help him develop the capacity to follow and remember simple, ascending melody lines. I think he can do these things. I guess this advice doesn’t directly address Jeanz’ question – it says more about what I did for my boy at some point in the past. Even though Michael (the kid she’s talking about) is four, just the process of cutting out the boring din of music on TV and radio commercial and finding activities where music is made into an event (it sounds like she and auftn are already doing that since they are making him special music mixes to listen to) you will help the child see that it is worth taking the time to listen to music. Once the kid develops the ability to really listen (and they find it to be an enjoyable experience) they will choose music that is beautiful, good, or at least interesting.

Now if you’ll excuse me, Alex and I need to finish our song about how Yoda’s farts smell even worse than wookie farts. We might even have time to visit Q Ball “the Q’s” Catster page. Alex loves when we visit Catster and Dogster. Yeah, there’s some real edifying shit happening at my house.

Why Not?

…sorry Old Dog. We started the Why Catholic program at Newman this morning. My group seems pretty nice. Fr. Godwin came over to our table and offered some pretty cool insights on St. Thomas Aquinas. I wanted to follow up with some mad Albert the Great science/love – but then I thought: “What Would KJ Do?” (KJ = Kimberly Jo). I think Kimberly Jo would tell me: “Ed, don’t start pontificating at our church. That’s for the Pontiff. Everyone everywhere else has to deal w/ your shit, NOT HERE!” So I kept my Albert the Great thought just a thought and the world is a better place for it.

Kim made a big dinner for her dad’s belated birthday party. Now that’s Italian. Actually her dad is German…uh, but she made pasta. Everybody likes pasta. Alex played Happy Birthday for his grandpa on the drums and he rocked it pretty hard.

Loving Rodeohead on the new ChrisB mix CD. There’s a friggin’ hilarious interview w/ MC Chris. Not my Chris. Yes Chris, you’re now my Chris.

For those of you who have this capacity on your MP3 players or your home computer or whatever you use to listen to your compressed, re-digitized musical porridge: try arranging your songs from shortest to longest. Lotta intros to albums, last blurbs on albums, Simpsons and Frank Zappa tracks, as well as false starts from box sets. OK, that’s my public service for tonight. Tomorrow I plan to give blood online.

We are the Something Somethings

I woke up this morning with a fresh cup of coffee next to the bed. If anyone ever hears me bitch about my wife on this blog, feel free to shoot me. I’ve worked pretty much every Saturday since right before Alex was born – and for almost as long I’ve been greeted with a fresh cup of coffee right out of bed.

Kim, Alex and I piled into the dopey Ford Focus and went to see the World Series trophy today. You could still smell the Miller Lite, see the champagne stains (I hope it was champagne) and where Freddie Garcia put out his cigar. The Sox promotions people were really well organized and polite. They volunteered to take the pictures for us, asked how many we wanted – got the whole family, individual shots of each family member w/ the trophy – and a picture of just the trophy. They even took our coats for us. We never got them back…

One More Thing that ChirsB was Right About

Dev went in last night and threw down more guitars to dil and Stupid Now. I think we ended up doing the right thing with both tracks…and I’m glad ChrisB led the charge weeks ago for this. Something weird happened at the end of mixdown that I’m not going to discuss here – but it was one more thing that ChrisB was right about.

Alex and I had a great Thursday morning. We worked on a new song about Yoda and did more stuff on his hurricane power-line repair guys song. He likes to play the drums standing up and he looks pretty cool while doing it.

Over ½ a billion dollars so far to help schools that have accepted children displaced by hurricane K. You go g bushy. I’m always railing against that guy (and perversely joyful as his public approval numbers become Carteresque) – but here’s an example of no strings attached money going to help those institutions who have already helped others. This is part of the “thing” promised in the first campaign that we have rarely seen in the past five years. gb’s understanding of the Fed govt being a friend to those institutions public or private that help others…this does not spirit away the poor handling of the hurricane or anything else that I bring up from time to time…but I gave them my worthless thumbs up for Roberts (we’ll see about Judge Ito) – and I’ll say (in my, AGAIN worthless political opinion) this was a good thing and more than I expected to see for the schools taking in hurricane victims at this time.

…oh, one more small Valentine for g bushy today. I think the India trip is going to be one of this administration’s few foreign policy successes. The hard line approach to New Delhi as a nuclear outlaw is pretty dated and pathetic. Those who would argue that coming to the table w/ India on nuclear material is only going to encourage rogue nuclear powers like North Korea and Iran to continue their pursuit of weapons simply don’t understand the meaning of the word rogue. If you see your people eating bark and you’re still spending money in the pursuit of missile and other technology, you are either determined to have a weapons program – or you are a sick fuck who likes to watch people eat bark.

Monarchs #22

Because I am so lame every time I talk to Alex about sports I always have to work in that clichéd nonsense about how it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you played the game. Yesterday I saw Buck O’Neil’s speech to fans telling them not to be upset w/ the 12 member special selection committee for baseball’s Hall of Fame. This special committee overlooked one of the great ambassadors of baseball when they decided not to induct O’Neil - and Minnie M (not mouse) – the only two living members on a special slate of candidates from the Negro Leagues etc…for induction to C-town (not C Note).

I’m no expert on the history of race in America or in baseball etc…but everything interesting I know about the Negro Leagues comes from interviews I seen over the years with Buck O’Neil. The game he loved shit on him during the prime of his career. He took it in stride and now speaks proudly of the brand of baseball played in the Negro Leagues. Sure he would tell stories of the treatment he and other players endured – but you’d walk away from an interview thinking this man celebrated what he and his fellow players accomplished…and it wasn’t ‘what we accomplished in the face of adversity’…it was a celebration of accomplishment as such.

He exuded the same dignity yesterday when he said he would speak on behalf of the players who were inducted – INSTEAD OF HIM!!!! (by the way – Olberman is so mad he’s rattling his SABR…and threatening to resign from one of America’s nerdiest organizations because of this injustice). Near the end of his speech he said: “Don’t be upset for me and be disappointed that I was not inducted in the hall of fame. I’m already in a Hall of Fame.” – alluding to the Negro Leagues Hall of Fame, drawing applause and tears from the audience.

Someday I’m going to take my son to the Negro Leagues Hall of Fame in KC. I’m going to show him a picture of Buck O’Neil and say: “Alex this is Buck O’Neil. He knew how to play the game.”