Florida King Snake

No that is not my new porno name.

Alex and his pals went on a field trip to the Red Oak Nature Center. As soon as I came in the door last night he told me about this snake that was so cool they brought him all the way from Florida to North Aurora just so kids could learn about him. He also told me he didn’t care that his beloved Tigers were on a two game losing streak he was just happy to see some wild animals close up.

Everybody’s been jumping on the Congress in the wake of their reaction to the latest seizure of materials from Rep Jef. Anyone who’s read this thing for awhile knows I’m not a ‘Congress pile-er on-er’(?). I do think the political savvy of those who said ‘We’ve got to hold hearings right away to stop this activity against members’ is nil at best. In the wake of the whole phone records thing, and the Congress’ non-reaction to that you’d thing someone would say ‘Uh guys, don’t you think people will be pissed if we said nothing when they the people were investigated but now that we are the we the people who think our personal security has been compromised we go berserk?’

It is really strange. Let’s see if I understand politics. I’ll apply the baseball notion of playing the percentages in a sort of fucked up way.

A.) People are already pissed about being investigated.
B.) There is no percentage in Congress fighting too hard against these investigations because as we see the g bushy administration fights back.
C.) The way the g bushy admin fights back is by portraying his opponents as indecisive and soft on terrorism (see the race against John Terrycloth)
D.) With the run up to the midterms Congress (esp the D’s) can’t seem to be any more indecisive or softer than they already have been/might appear.
E.) People (even me), for the most part haven’t been as up in arms as they should be re: the investigation of their personal phone records.
F.) There’s no “percentage” in appearing soft on terrorism when the people seem to not be that concerned about domestic phone surveillance.

You will hear a bunch of news pundits making a big deal about Congress’ actions here to which I respond – said pundits haven’t thought the problem through. They will say: ‘Oh my stars and garters, the first time this Congress has done anything major in a bi-partisan fashion since the gang-bang of 14 and it’s done to cover their own miserable asses. The people will be up in arms’

Those pundits miss something. The R’s in Congress may be smarter than they get credit for, especially if they are creating the perception that ‘we (the Congress) are in this together.’ Rep Jef is a D. It sort of makes sense that the S o’ Da Ho’ offers the public arguments he made the other day – not because he is personally worried about his office being investigated but it helps create a notion that this is not a R problem or a D problem but it is Congress that is under fire. Even though this will create little or no empathy for Congress in the nation (because we have none, they are the ugly-ass middle child among our three not so coequal branches of govt)…it will create the perception that the whole Congress is in this and other messes TOGETHER. What the R’s on the Hill need now is togetherness.

Let me end with an unrelated observation. I hope Jeb Bush becomes the new Commissioner of the NFL. I don’t want another Bush in the White House unless it’s Reggie. Even that poor bastard is scandal ridden. Good luck Jeb Bush.

Maybe he is the Florida King Snake.

- - - - - - -------- ------------------------ -- - - - - - -- --
believe it or not - I don't want to forget this

The water’s good if you don’t look
At the soil test the city took
Let’s grab a glass and drink it down
It feels real cool inside our mouths
Do you like this thing I’m riding now
On my way back up this mountain out

ok - that's it for mow - more later

Weekend/Feedback

Another Saturday in the era where ed no longer has to work Saturdays. It was great. Now if the era where ed refers to himself in the 3rd person could come to a swift conclusion we would all be happier, no?. I’d never make it as a Frenchman.

Which reminds me – I’ve become sort of obsessed (I do everything in a ½ assed way) with the Frank Zappa song IN FRANCE. I feel terrible, because the French were very nice to me when I was there. Even after I opened my mouth and they could hear what I was doing to their language – they were cool.

Saturday, the little family worked all day around the manor and the king ‘n the queen said not a cross word to each other. The boy was great in church. I was a little pissed when we were leaving because a big ole storm started rolling in. I wanted to get at least nine holes in before going to the PDawg soirée. Maybe I would’ve made a good Frenchman – the accent grave was in the right place in soiree. OK, it was my spell-check. (Incidentally, “spell-check” is in my spell-check).

Went to the party a PDawg’s and had a great time. Just drinking beers (I would’ve made a terrible Canadian since all my Canadian friends remind me that the plural for beer is just like the word deer – just an aside in this aside- have you ever heard anyone say they are going to buy a 12 pack of deer?) and enjoying the breezes down by the retention pond. I was hoping Old Dog and I would wake up the next morning in the Soul Coffin but it was not to be (or bea). I was all ready to exclaim, “Is that an SM-57 or are you just glad to see me?!?”

Shure I was.

Sunday the crew went to the OF to hang out with Kim’s family. Homemade pizza kicks ass. To quote Kramer: “We provide the dough, you toss it, you kneed it, you put it in the oven…”

Monday was the first time ever I had 2 pars in the front nine. Then my head left me and the normal collapse set in. Alex and I also saw Over the Hedge. This was just a great weekend.

Thanks to everyone for posting on ajusted music. I appreciate the feedback on the record.

uh, even though there is no feedback on breather.

One last note - congrats to the S. o' da Ho' for having the longest run of any R to serve in this position.

Who knows how different history could've been if Newt wasn't a "never-nude"...

Re: the recent invocation of the "speech and debate" clause...let me say this: I feel more comfortable when our elected officials play fast and loose with the Constitution than when nine black shrouded demi-gods do the same.

End of editorial.

Ajusted Music

As if reading my thoughts weren’t annoying enough – now I have set them to music. Ok, for anyone who knows me – I have spent a good portion of my life setting my thoughts (annoying or otherwise) to music. I’ve started a music blog that goes along with this one. I can’t completely take the blame/credit for this idea. One of the nicer rejection e-mails my solo album received was from an intern who basically said: ‘We aren’t really interested in putting this record out with you at this time…or at any time but I checked out your blog and your links. It’s a nice little thing you guys’ve got going. Why don’t you try putting the stuff up there and maybe I’ll come back and check it out from time to time? Either way this could be an outlet for you.’

It was the friendliest big kiss-off ever.

The other reason I put this up there is kaka’s CD skipped and I never sent her another one. I found Lady Di’s all packaged up and ready to go from like three weeks ago – NEVER SENT IT (the end of the semester always kicks my ass). By the way – sorry to both of these wonderful women. I encourage/beg you to put any and all comments that come to mind when you hear this stuff. Was it easy to download…what do you think - good – bad – indifferent (I hope there won’t be too many indifferents…although that has been sort of the general reception the album has gotten from some who have heard it). You will not hurt my feelings. I have gotten plenty of sour reactions to things I have done. I'm just happy that someone cares enough to say I suck.

The Old Dirty Dog helped me get this up there so all love goes to him. I can’t get the album artwork up there at this time. That is my goal. This record has some great photos taken by my wife and has some really pissy liner notes written by me. I will be adding more credits and information to the ajusted music thing as time goes on. I really just couldn’t wait to put the songs on there. See, when I behave like this it is a good reminder as to why many have poked fun at me for being such an eager beaver over the years - - ‘look at me…I worked so hard….evaluate me….’ it’s sort of disgusting/pathetic. But in the end, I don’t care. This is what I do.

This is the first record I ever made by myself and it is called breather

http://ajustedmusic.blogspot.com/

edP

Say It Ain't So Barbaro

*warning to horse/animal lovers (kaka, my wife, my sister and anyone else)...this entry tends to underestimate the sadness associated with a pretty bad horse injury - I did not write it to piss off you or anyone else...I just wanted to pretend to talk to the horse*

So I went to this Pennsylvanian large animal hospital the other day. I was looking for this llama who spit on me. I saw the great Barbaro in one of the recovery stalls. I looked at his leg and said to no one in particular, “Man I hope my leg doesn’t look this bad when my bookie Todd the Giraffe finds out I can’t pay pack the five large I had ridin’ on this guy.”

To which Barbaro responded: “I am truly sorry you lost the wager that you placed on me old chap.”

Me: “Oh, that’s ok dude…wha?? Barbaro, you can talk!”

Barbaro: “I most certainly can. My trainers, taking a cue from your Barry Bonds and Rafael Palmero decided if those fellows could take horse steroids to increase their strength exponentially, my trainers thought by administering human steroids to me I could outsmart the other horses in the field and this advantage would be most beneficial to certain parties.”

Me: “Wow, that’s some fucked up, Frankensteinesque shit.”

Barbaro: “Indeed.”

Me: “So you can talk now, what else can you do?”

Barbaro: “I have achieved full sentience…now possessing as much self-awareness as you do.”

Me: “You don’t need to do math with your hoof?”

Barbaro: “No. You are a clever fellow aren’t you?”

Me: “huh”

Barbaro: “Alas, with my newfound self-awareness, the first thing I am faced with is the possibility of my own mortality. If they cannot save the leg they will kill me.”

Me: “That’s sad Barbaro. Hey, ya got any Elmer’s around here?”

Barbaro: “You actually think that’s the first time I’ve heard that joke. Be that as it may, I’m glad to have some companionship in these dark hours.”

Me: “I don’t mind shootin’ the shit with you.”

Barbaro *weeping: “Ahhhhhh, realizing the full capacity of humanity is bittersweet…wondrous, yet short-lived.”

Me: “Waitaminute Barbaro. If you really have developed these human attributes maybe you also have an immortal soul and now can be saved…to live forever with your Creator.”

Barbaro: “You really believe that? Come now sir, don’t you know that’s all a bunch of me-shit? The best I can hope for is what Plato’s Socrates describes as a dreamless sleep. Call it what you will it is all non-existence.”

Barbaro began sobbing uncontrollably…

Me: “I’ve got it. I think I know how to show you another side of humanity that will make this all easier.”

Barbaro: “What are you doing with that television?”

Me: “Check it out. This is all that comes with humanity.”

TV: CLICK

Barbaro: “7th Heaven? This is like the third or fourth level of Hell!”

TV: CLICK

Barbaro: “Why is this septuagenarian singing? Does he actually have some pretense at pop idolDom??? He has more gray hair than Bob Bafford.”

TV: CLICK

Barbaro: “24? No man can stay awake five consecutive days? Doesn’t anyone go to the bathroom on this program?”

TV: CLICK

Barbaro: “Bill O’Really is contacting Faux News Security again? Thank you edP. That bullet can’t come fast enough.”

Privatized Parts

In one of the best short sighted plans (if such a thing is possible) in the history of the State of Illinois – Blaggo (he can feel free to call me Bloggo) is planning to:

a.) Privatize at least part of the state’s lottery
b.) Possibly privatize the toll authority/road/system/whatever

This has yet to be officially officially announced as far as I understand it. Both are part of the Governor’s secret education plan. I love living in a state that has a secret education plan.

You know it’s got to be good if members of the Republican minority were basically locked out of the decision making process. In my limited ability to read between the lines in politics – locking out the minority is one way of saying: ‘We are going to take all the credit for this, and you can’t say shit.’ I don’t really care much about this except to say it’s sort of sad.

But to those members of the State Leg and Senate from the ‘burbs who are arguing that the ‘burbs should get a greater share of the windfall from the initial privatization of the toll roads let me say – shame on you, you shameless fucks.

Everybody knows that I don’t give a fuck about the redistribution of wealth unless it’s through the Holy Church – and even there it is not a primary concern of mine…the church as agent for social/financial change comes far down on the list of important things it is charged with in my feeble brain. I believe government as an institution is even less qualified to do such stuff – but to those who argue publicly that commuters from the ‘burbs must get a disproportionate share (in their minds the appropriate share) of the money because they have paid for the toll roads with their nickels, dimes, quarters and now credit cards over the years – again, shame on you, you shameless fucks.

If you live in a moderately affluent to affluent affluent Northwest suburb you will ALWAYS have a greater share of property taxes to draw from to pay for educational programs. Your schools will always be funded more than those elsewhere in the state. I’m fine with that. Life isn’t fair and government is not there to make it so. You can pass a $2 million referendum to pay for more free Kleenexes (Kleenexes, in my spell check by the way) at the public library’s atrium to wipe away the tears from this tragedy.

While I was proud to support Glen P. in his bid for Gov a few years back, one thing I disagreed with was his plan to redistribute state property taxes evenly. I think there is something to the argument that those who pay this amount may be able to reap certain benefits within their community. But this other shameless fuckery….Fuck. If b.) is really part of the Gov’s plan – this may be one chance for schools in southern and western Illinois – as well as in the Big City to get a BIG little something extra…distributed equally. Fuck you if you live in Something Heights and think your commute should give you more of this too. You certainly paid more over the years for these roads. Thank you. But as we have agreed above, life isn’t fair – so shut the hell up.

The End

OK, this is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad.

I’m actually going to try and do other things while the game is on today and not get all worked up. I don't want to see Zambrano do what I think he is going to do. And, I don't want to say bad things to my friends who root for the color uniform Zambrano and Barret wear. I think after the past 24 hours, the H-brts were right to make fun of me for all my sports BS. Let’s hope this is the last word about yesterday:

“Both sides vowed there would be no need for retaliation in the series finale, with the second-inning brawl being classified as an isolated incident. The White Sox really have taken their best revenge simply through their on-field domination.

"After the fight, we just tried to go out there and take care of business," Garcia said. (then Freddie took care of business with the dugout if you know what I mean)

"We have one thing in mind, and that's to win," added Guillen, who stated that Pierzynski will be in Sunday's lineup. "I'm not a headhunter. We took care of that on the field today. Turn the page, move on and start another game tomorrow."”

Scott Merkin is a reporter for MLB.com.

Amen.

Can Someone Explain This To Me

I don’t understand this blog:

THIS LINK IS BULLSHIT DO NOT CLICK

If you do, could you please help me.

Thanks.

Some More Good Natured Banter Before I Try Being BiSoxual

Two great behind-the-scenes stories from yesterdays SOX game. These come by way of the Baseball Zeus, Bruce Levine. One involves a member of the WhiteSOX coaching staff who Mr. Levine did not name. When Hank White came up to bat for the cubs:

MORE BULLSHIT LINKAGE
see Blanco’s massive stats above

The unnamed coach looked at Blanco’s mighty .063 and said: “My God, the temperature is higher than this guy’s batting average.”

A named coach, Ozzie G:

MORE BULLSHIT LINKAGE

saw Nefie(sp? who cares) before the came. Apparently Ozzie and Nefi are friends, which just goes to show how magnanimous the SOX skipper is. Ozzie calls out to Nefi:

“Hey Nefi, you in the lineup today? We gonna win.”

The two friends embraced and as Nefi was walking away, Ozzie shouted:

“Watch out for the bunt!”

Good news Blue fans, Jeanne Zelasko said that Chicago is still a Cubs town. Faux Sports is at least as reliable as their news department…

…isn’t it?

One Last Try

I was making fun of Kid K's return to the majors. Devin and I were in a liquor store and I picked up some Cubs Old Style fan cans. They had a giant cardboard cut out of Kerry and I said "They're using his actual arm on that thing."

I don't know if Dev heard me. I kept jawing at Chris' before practice. At one point Devin said "Isn't the World Series enough?"

You know, the more I think about it - with minutes before the SOX v. Cubs series starts - all the bite is out of the rivalry. What would it mean if the SOX swept? What would it mean if the Cubs swept or won the series? Maybe it would mean Dusty keeps his job. No one wants that. See Ms. Aquamanski's blog on this.

I'm going to give bi-Soxuality one more try...or at least shelf the Cubs hatred for the rest of the season. Don't get me wrong, I'm rootin' for the Sox this weekend because they already trail the Tigers (not that I'm scoreboard watching in May)...

I just saw an interview with Ernie Banks, so I'll end with the words of Mr. Cub...

"Let's play two."

Smell the Drugs

Fun morning with the boy yesterday. Even dealing with the insurance company is more fun when I bring him along. A 5 year old can provide the necessary semi-chaotic distractions one needs when they have to do boring junk.

Fun evening with the CofP boys last night. Best quote: “Just put it on the pile.” More on this later, maybe. Thanks to Ms. Aquamanski for loaning us her hubby.

I’ll come back to the MadDog drafts of the 1st A next week if there is still interest. I want to present a recent example of the Supreme Court dealing fairly with some language in the Constitution and with the State Courts as if they count too. Consider the recent drug-sniffing dog case – the SC said something about this in Jan 05 (I think?) and the Illinois Supreme Court just “finished the work” the US Supreme Court asked them to do. Here’s the decision from the USSC:

THIS LINK IS NOW BULLSHIT

…duh, I reread the first line…it was Jan 2005.

The Court deals directly with the 4th A and search and seizure language – and even though they apply their understanding of the BoR to the states by way of the 14th A, they ultimately offered council/instructions and left some things up to the Illinois State Supreme Court. Consequently, the Illinois Supreme Court was free to come to the WRONG FUCKING CONCLUSION yesterday. Isn’t liberty grand?

The Rep. from my district said (in the recent past) that General Hayden is the wrong person at the wrong time to head the CIA. I am happy to defer to my member in these matters. That just sounds wrong. I bet General Grevious would do a better job.

Something like a third of WalMarts in the US are discontinuing gun sales. Is that justice? Is that proper? Isn’t it my right as a fucking American to buy a weapon made by Chinese political prisoners?

The NRA, in part of its official, well-researched protest statement reminds us that the demographic seeing the greatest rise in gun sales is women.

That is so hot.

e-1st Congress Shit

I’m going to do this in small chunks. We can follow along with the amending of the amendments process as if we were in the 1st Congress, seeing Madison’s drafts for the first time. How sexy is that?

Remember, in my response to Mikey (and what might be called the mainstream liberal understanding of the 1st Amendment’s meaning re: religion and this erect wall of separation) my contention is: We should consider the thought of the people who actually wanted something like the 1st A. It goes too far to suggest, as Justice Black does that we can simply turn to Madison and Jefferson as the authorities on the meaning of the 1st A (for all the reasons I put forth earlier). While I agree with Mikey and those who say the Framers weren’t as religious as the War on Christmas Crowd would have us believe, it is precisely for this reason that others wanted something like the 1st A. The losers. The people who lost when it came to the ratification of the unamended Constitution…the anti-Federalists – and to understand the 1st A, we ought to ask what did they want?

It would be misleading for me to paint the anti-Feds with a broad brush and say all of them wanted X. The anti-Fed positions and their objections to the Constitution are too nuanced for that. But there was a determined group among them (so determined that they got their asses and their influence in the 1st Congress and in the committee for drafting the BofR) and among these folks their complaint was that the unamended Constitution was manifestly nonreligious (see my earlier discussion about Article VI Par. 3, the only mention of religion in the unamnCon) – and their coordinate fear was that the new government it created might be hostile to religion. Again, Mikey and whoever else can say to voters of the blue tie crowd when they opine that the Founders were God fearing men, you can remind them: No, many of the anti-Federalists understood that the Con was produced in a convention guided by (at worst) the kind of skepticism that informed the Enlightenment and at best indifference to traditional theistic claims associated with revealed religion. That’s why their Constitution was something of a novel instrument of government among these early Americans. Consider the language of the Articles of Confederation, hold on, let me dig it out of my garbage can – the Art of Con openly acknowledges the importance of the “Great Governor of the Universe” and man’s dependence on him, individually and in the fate of the nation.

Great Governor of the Universe is not to be confused with Arnold – who is a governor – and who was once Mr. Universe.

See, jokes like that may be why I deserve to fail as a teacher.

Several of the state Constitutions had language similar to that of the Articles. The proposed Constitution had nothing like that. Some of the anti-Feds recognized this as novelty and wanted to do something about it – hence the drive for something like the 1st A.

Madison was a practical man of politics. Although initially (and probably secretly throughout the process) MadDog didn’t want the 1st A or the BoR in general. But after consulting the polls (just kidding) he understood that some acquiescence to the complaints of the anti-Feds was going to be necessary in the 1st Congress. Also because he was a political man, Madison wanted to try to beat the anti-Feds to the punch. He came prepared to the first Congress. NERD! Short Nerd! He had drafts of two religious amendments. Consider:

1.) “No State shall violate the equal rights of conscience.”
2.) “The Civil Rights of none shall be abridged on account of religious belief or worship, nor shall any national religion be established nor shall the full and equal rights of conscience be in any manner, or on any pretext abridged.”

See, Madison is Mikey’s guy. He’s Justice Black’s guy to be sure. And if these amendments were adopted they would certainly contain all the principles these thoughtful Americans would find to be sound and true. Madison called #1 the most important of all the proposed Bill o Rights. Needless to say, #1 got totally shitcanned by the 1st Congress. See, here is where we see those of the founding generation that weren’t as “enlightened” as Madison, Jefferson or any of the Enlightenment crowd. #2 sounds like what became the 1st Amendment. Let me remind us of the language of the 1st Amendment that we’ve all grown to know and love:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;”

Significant differences here between #2 and the religion CLAUSES of the 1st A as we have it now. More on the drafting and these differences later. I have some distracting shit to do this morning.

I will not get to half of my proposed list of stuff to do (this week) for my summer projects.

But I am home every night by 5:30pm, having a great time with the wife and kid – and I get to talk about this shit with y’all.

Life ain’t half bad.

100 Years Ago

Thank you Craig B. for your service in Irock. We are all glad you made it home safely.

My brain is free. For better or worse, I’ve got more time on my hands as I am only teaching one class this summer and working at the hhe. Alex and I stopped by the PDawg’s and he still seems open to the idea of me doing the follow up to breather in his studio. Here’s what I have to do this week before I can even start thinking about starting Kish.

1. Do Century of Progress practice on Thursday (or whenever the boys can do it)
2. Talk to ChrisB about live to Internets feed for the fB
3. Talk to Snare Systems guy about breather site
4. Call Larry about finishing the dupes of breather review copies
5. tt OD about doing a blogger thing for breather

With my supervisor’s husband coming home safely from the war (that’s Craig above – and thank God again for this) I’ve been thinking about the impending deployment (probably not the right term) of the Guard to our Southwestern border. I’m wondering if the g bushy crew is using this as a part of an exit strategy for Irock. I’m probably giving Captain Blue Tie too much credit here because nothing in this war has made that much sense to me. Once we establish a military presence there we will find out quickly that whatever the initial force numbers, they won’t be enough. Could Bush really make an argument that American security will actually be benefited by a redeployment of other troops from Irock to our Southern borders? Maybe even to the Northern border – hey, those Canadians can get pretty chippy when they talk their hockey, their Bob ‘n Doug, their rock critics awards show where Alanis Morrisette gets every honor.

Great SOX game Sunday. Yeah 56 Mark Buehrle got lit up in the first inning. But Buehrles and the SOX did something that hadn’t been done in baseball in 100 years…he ended up as the winning pitcher after giving up 7 runs in the first inning. What else happened 100 years ago? The WhiteSOX won their first World Series.

Here’s why I will not miss teaching at university should the day come where I am no longer doing that. First off, the university certainly will not miss my mish-mashing of the language (or my pathetic propensity for alliteration for that matter)…I spent an entire semester reminding my Religion and the Constitution class that the words “separation of church and state” are nowhere to be found in the unamended Constitution nor can they be found in the 1st Amendment. Those words are first used as a way of interpreting the 1st Amendment by Justice Hugo Black in Everson v. the New Jersey Board of Education (1947). Justice Black gets those words from Thomas Jefferson in a letter he sent to the Danbury Baptists in 1802.

There were plenty of Blue Book responses that reminded me that I failed as a teacher this semester, because they reminded me that not only are the words separation of church and state the guiding principles of the 1st Amendment…they are all that amendment has to say according to some of these students.

Has Justice Black and other justices of his ilk used an interpretation of the Constitution and its amendments for good ends? Yes. But we ought to remember that much of the “good” the Court did in the 20th Century has been based on an interpretation – and often times this interpretation can not be squared with a plain reading of the text or the debates, letters and journals of the drafters of the Constitution and later the Bill of Rights.

Surely this is why my friends who call themselves liberal are worried about the confirmation of Justice Roberts and especially Judge Ito. They understand that the Constitution and the Court has been about power for much of the past century and that shows no sign of stopping. By the way, this love of the Supreme Court among the left is so unquestionable that nobody questioned the SC’s decision in g bushy vee Alphonse Gorrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Rather than following the Constitution for guidance re: the Florida recount, everyone on both sides was happy to let the SC decide. When the Gorrrr supporters lost (although then Veeeeeep was well represented by this lawyer from Sycamore, IL of all places) they called it a day. The Supremes have spoken, the fat lady hung the last dog. Yeesh, did I need to be that graphic?

One of the things that energizes me as a teacher of government (especially this government) is I can point to the Constitution and say: ‘Look, here’s the users’ manual. You can read it, I can read it. We don’t need nine sophisticated dictionaries to redefine phrases, clauses or words to fit whatever purposes the dictionaries claim to be most pressing.’ To those who have a fondness for the social/judicial activism of the Court in the 20th Century, I remind them, the Court is going in a different direction. Now how do we stop them? We as “we the people” have let our muscles for interpreting the Constitution atrophy to the point that – now that we may really need them, they are of no use to us.

Anyway, I think I failed – but even if I succeeded, what’re ya gonna do? Pants the Supreme Court?

Most of those fuckers aren’t even wearing pants.

The Most Beautiful Mother in the World

Dear Kim,

The Lord is kind and merciful. He sent you to us. Your precious love reminds Alex and I that the world is a good place. The world is about love. Thank you for sharing yours with us.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

...to all you mothers out there.

F. Y. DRIVER!

God Bless the Old Dog for giving me the good news yesterday. I love hhe, I love my job and life is good over there. But starting this weekend, I don’t have to work Saturdays anymore. I’ve worked almost every Saturday since my beautiful boy was born but now those days are over. Saturday shifts ended at the perfect time for me and I know I am one lucky bastard.

If you ever hear me e-complaining about my life, kick me in the e-ass.

Poor Barry Bonds

No one is embracing Barry Bonds’ race to second place. This is shameful. Remember how America couldn’t wait for Emmit Smith to pass Jim Brown?

Bonds on Bonds is the first reality show I have ever watched and he seems to say that he didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just the media’s perception of him. I’ve never heard of such a thing. I didn’t think that the way news was reported could actually shape peoples’ opinions of another human being. Bonds hit all those homers, and he is insightful.

I think of that fat, dead, fuck Babe Ruth and wonder: Why do people love him? He’s all dead and shit. Then I thought - the one record that no one can take from the fat, dead fuck is Most Nicknames of All Time. Consider:

1. Bambino
2. The Sultan of Swat
3. The King of Swing
4. Even his name isn’t his name…it’s George Herman-whatever-the-fuck.

By the way, best line ever about Babe Ruth was from George Bernard Shaw:

“I’ve heard of this Babe Ruth. What does she do?”

Poor Barry Bonds…Shaw never said shit about him. I want America to love Bonds as much as I do. Maybe if we can give Barry some cool nicknames he will be beloved (or at least be beliked) by baseball fans and Americans everywhere (at least in America). Here are some possible nicknames. Enjoy and feel free to add your own.

1. The Sultan of Subpoenas
2. Scambino
3. The Brick Hit House (that works for just about anybody)
4. The Injector
5. Chemical Barry (with apologies to Chemical Ali)
6. The Duke of Winstrol
7. Mr. Cream
8. Count Dracula

So won’t you please help this national treasure (Barry Bonds may in fact be a treasure this nation deserves) and come up with a nickname for Barry-Poo.

Barry-Poo is officially taken.

Arrrrrrrrr You Gonna Give Me Some Candy?

The kids arrrrrrrrr having an adventure at the Pirate B-Day Party.

Mom is the Greatest!

Phineas J. Foggo, You're an Idiot

…or, Foggo Went A’ Courtin’

Foggo? Nine Fingers? (Mordecai Brown?) A guy with the first name Porter? Are these men part of our intelligence/defense/security community or are they the bio-duplicated/cloned remains of the 1908 Chicago Cubs?

God Bless the 2006 WhiteSOX and the 2006 Cubs. The way the schedules have been shaking out, I have had back-to-back, wall-to-wall, metaphor-to-simile baseball as the background while I grade papers. Interestingly enough, I tend to turn down the sound of Hawk and DJ after a while (the tension between those two – Yeeesh, did they have a one night stand in Kansas City or something?)…but I am becoming quite fond of the chemistry between the Blue Team’s TV men. I didn’t like Bob B when he was a manager and I hated the D-Backs. I hate all expansion teams. I think I may have even secretly rooted for the Cubs when they lost to the ’03 Marlins. Now that’s some good old fashioned, I-hate-the-new baseball hate. But I really enjoy the C tv broadcast team. We all know how I feel about No Legs Mordecai Santo.

Regarding the 1908 Cubs, it is my sad duty to report that “next year” was 1908. But be of good cheer my Cub fan friends. When the 2008 Chicago Cubs are mathematically eliminated from playoff contention (sometime in early June of 2008), the Sultan o Swaff, Four Strings (I could’ve gone a lot of ways with this one folks) Mordecai Old Dog and me (No Brain Mordecai edP) will host a special bar-BQ to ease the pain of 100 years of frustration for all our Blue friends. Mark it on your colander. No wait; don’t do that you’ll get blue ink on your spaghetti. Mark it on your calendar. There will be so much beer you will forget the past 100 years.

SOX are trotting out a knuckleballer tonight. Should be fun. Thome’s home run kicked so much ass last night. Joe Crede, you will never be called the lamb again for you are the Comet! Man, it sounds like I’ve been eating Comet. What is wrong with me? It makes my eyes turn green. Too many damned papers to grade.

When this semester is finally over, I’m picking up a copy of the new Philip Roth novel EVERYMAN (yeah, I still can’t do italics when I want to on my blog). Here’s a brief review of the book for anyone interested:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5377345

In an alternate universe, I would not be paid a bit more than starvation wages to re-read and teach crusty old books, instead I would spend my time reading novels.

I guess that would be an alternate universe written by Philip K. Roth.

Iraqi Parliament to Vote in New Cabinet

I wonder if they'll go with a faux finish.

Actually, as a gesture of friendship maybe we should offer to lend them some of our top indicted officials. Perhaps we can work serving in a new Iraqi parliament as a sort of plea agreement for our beloved leaders.

Fittzy or whoever can say: "Do you plead guilty, not guilty or would you like to plead guilty and serve your sentence in the Iraqi Cabinet?"

After all, some of the folks on the hot seat helped create the need for such stuff in the first place.

We can even look to exiling F. Murray Abramofffffffffffffff to Iraq. If we want to teach them about democracy they're gonna need lobbyists. Can't you just see J.A. (John Adams?) following some nomadic tribe around asking them where their casino is?

I love it when a plan comes together.

Even I Can't Read the Book Bob Dylan Wrote About Me

Grading and a bunch of other end of the semester bullcrap is cutting into my precious blogging time, so here is a picture of a tarantula.

Joseph Glidden Leaves His Barn Door Open

This is from somewhere:

“Your one chance this year to see inside of Joseph F. Glidden’s barn, where he first manufactured “The Winner” barbed wire, is Sunday May 21, noon-4p.m. The Glidden Homestead & Historical Center Spring Open House this year will feature an open barn. Other activities are planned that day. The Homestead is located at 921 W. Lincoln Hwy., DeKalb, between Glidden Florist and Copy Service.”

www.gliddenhomestead.org

In unrelated news/opinion/fuckery spewed forth by me: If the Republicans want to keep the Congress they should hope and pray that Nancy P and Rep Con-up-Yers make plenty of appearances on TV. Her stammering and non answers about what D’s will do re: investigations of the war, energy plans, the g bushy tax cuts, and barring lobbyists from Capitol Hill is a joke.

Preditction:

Republicans definitely keep the Senate and will barely hold on to the House.

Of course with midterm elections no one knows shit until after Labor Day…but I’ll put my ass on the line. Trust me, I still won’t know shit after Labor Day.

Thanks to Joe Crede for making my day grading papers a little more fun. I was worried watching Thome coming homie. When he was waved around I wasn't thinking:

Please be safe, Please be safe, Please be safe...

I was thinking:

PLEASE DON'T PULL ANYTHING!!!!

Do The Pirates Wear Blue Hats Now?

Man is Juan Pierre doing well at the plate (at least against the D-Backs I didn’t see the whole misadventure that ended in another Carlos Looney Tunes Zambrano 1-0 no decision). I love when the Cubs play on the West coast because after the SOX I can keep baseball going in the background while I’m grading these damned papers.

I have a legitimate reason now for wanting the Cubs to keep losing. If they can drop down 10 to 15 games behind the Reds or Cards or whoever is leading the N.L. Central, the SOX could make a play for Pierre. I think they have some stuff that could entice a trade, and I don’t think the Cubs have JP signed past this year. Just imagine Pods batting 9^th and JP batting 1^st. Ozzzie could make that shit work.

ajusted War

I shouldn’t do this, but my dear friend the Old Dog wants to hear (from reliable Catholic sources) arguments regarding just war. Initially I suggested St.Aug but for a variety of reasons, I think this work may no longer apply – and NOT BECAUSE TRUTHS CHANGE HISTORICALLY OVER TIME OR ANY FAKE-ASS HEGALIAN NOTION OF HISTORICAL RELATIVISM…rather, I think my dear friend seeks an answer to help him understand something else he loves. OD loves his country and I think he has honestly struggled to make sense of the administration’s actions in the present war (which I savage at every turn in these e-pages). Also, with his longstanding interest in international relations OD must have thought about this question hundreds of times. Not only is the following a "just war defense" from a Catholic priest who has studied many of the things OD has studied (only knows them a helluva lot better than him, me and everyone we know), but this source offers a defense of (what I consider to be indefensible) Bush’s doctrine of pre-emptive war. Here’s the interview with Fr. Richard John Neuhaus:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5284809

I respectfully disagree with aspects of Fr. Neuhaus’ interpretation of "just war" – and especially the connection to the dangerous Bush policy, but I think it suits Joe’s needs here. The traditional Catholic view finds (in my opinion) all examples of modern warfare horrific and indefensible. Michael reminded us that he was on a boat in Gulf War ONE that fired the damned C-missiles to soften resistance. Let me say thanks to MK for his service to our country and I admire the brains & courage it took to do what he did. Also, let me remind Michael that he has already called me an "asshole" for what I am about to say…

The modern approach to beginning war with bombing or missile attacks on civilian targets or attacking "military targets" that run the risk of causing collateral damage shows how technology has fundamentally changed the nature of war as the ancient Doctors of the Church understood it. War was fought on determined battlefields between men on both sides who (more often than not) had everything to gain or lose in the venture. The closest thing from the ancient Doctors of the Church to the modern standard operating procedures of warfare would have been siege warfare and OD, you do not want to know what they have to say about that. To the extent that war is now made on hearth and home of people that are in no way connected with the degenerate policies of their sick ruler (and I’m talking about IRACK now, not us…although some might say the argument flows both ways right…the poor bastards that died on watchamacallit, June 26th whatever the new death holiday is in America that gave us that Septembur song by Billy Joel - they didn’t create the policies that led to their horrific deaths) such activities can’t be justified by any traditional Catholic notion of "just war."

Anyway, let me know what you think OD – or anybody else who cares about such stuff. I’m trying to be open minded here, especially in light of my last few posts that may have riled my dear friends OD and olekobe. Let me say I respect the reserve and cool demeanor both exhibited in their responses. When men and women (who may be) on very different sides of these questions can have serious and civil intercourse on such matters, it makes me think that the American conversation hasn’t completely degenerated into the American hissy-fucking-fit.

Good job men.

One last note to Sultan o’ Swaff, and I am going to try to handle this with the same civility that my friends olekobe and OD did in the scenario above. So’S said:

"Sorry Ed, that makes no sense. Leave it to the RCC to cite the Nuremburg defense, they've definitely needed it over the centuries. I'd like to think a soldier dying in a rebellion against a leader in unjust war has a better shot at heaven than a compliant soldier who kills for said leader and gets religious absolution because he was following orders. "

It’s not that simple. Will I admit that there are historical examples where the RCC as an institution has aided in (or stood aside and done nothing to prevent) atrocities? Regretfully (which is in no way a strong enough word) the answer is yes. But you go too far in suggesting the teaching I was referring to was something – ANYTHING like the "Nuremburg defense" or that the Church has used it to defend herself against historical charges (in the distant or recent past) of being part of a national or international crime. You may like to think that the soldier dying in rebellion against an unjust leader has a better chance of going to heaven than the soldier who takes orders in the unjust war (part of me would like to think so too) – but us thinking that "doesn’t make it fucking so" (to quote Mr. Whatever in Reservoir Dogs). The teaching I was referring to from St. Paul enjoins Christians to law abidingness. Respecting law even respecting bad governments – I think is St. Paul’s intent rather than turning Christianity into a political yardstick judging entrance into heaven and hell on the grounds you suggest. There are two good reasons for us to think that St. Paul would do this IN HIS LETTER TO THE FUCKING ROMANS:

The Practical Reason: The Christian "cultists" (language of ancient Roman historians) in Rome during Paul’s time were viewed as revolutionaries who would bring down the regime. Ironically enough, Christian principles undermining the old Roman/Greek manly virtues did help on this score but only once their leaders embraced the principles. But St. Paul wants people to know, or tries to do a PR job that we Christians are not revolutionaries, we will not burn Rome (we’ll just take the blame).

The Theoretical Reason: St. Paul understands, better than you and I do, and better than bad religious leaders in the intervening years Catholic, Protestant and otherwise who do need something like a "Nuremburg defnese," that religion can be misused in the name of assuring fanatical soldiers to bring about political change in this life. It is why St. Paul in his wisdom (and presumably through God’s grace), helps us see a separation between the government of this world and the laws of God or natural law. In the epistle I mentioned, Christians are called to forbearance rather that to revolt against bad government. This is not meant to get anybody off the hook, rather to remind us (in the theoretical or theological sense) the ways of man are not the ways of God. Further, even the wicked mistakenly do God's will and can serve the natural law.

Harmonizing the relationship between entrance to heaven (which by the way I do not see as the ultimate goal of Catholics) and the political structures of this world the way you suggest is similar to the argument that every suicide bomber embraces and every duplicitous sender-outer-of-suicide-bombers employs. Maybe you want to make the case that ultimately all religious rationale tends towards the arguments of the izzzlambists but I do not accept that for the reasons I listed. And, the reasons do make sense. I am only irrational in my belief that eating flesh and drinking blood have something to do with eternal life. When it comes to following long complicated arguments, that’s what I do.

Sultan o’ Swaff knows how to push my buttons on these things. That’s why I am honored that he comes here to talk, and I say that not because I want to make part of my follow up record to breather in the studio he and the PDawg built.

Back to grading papers. Y’all gave me a lot of shit to think about.

Hugs and Kisses!

Black and Blue Update

Did a good job with most of the stuff on my list and even handled a few other curve balls tossed at me by life (scurrying out of my office to change a flat tire for Kim and give her and Alex the other car to drive home so they didn't have to drive home on the doughnut...and I managed to change the tire, switch stuff around in the cars, get cleaned up and make it back to my office in 20 minutes, I should send my resume to Dick Trickle and ASSCAR). Taught the Religion and the Constitution class last night, but from 7:05pm on…I was thinking about the SOX vs. the Mariners. The Mariners have had the SOX number for the past few years. I wanted to watch the whole game. I thought I'd earned it after having a good day working.

GOOD NEWS: By the time I could actually sit down to watch the game, Joe Crede stepped up to the plate and hit a grand salami. You bet I put it on the board.

Yes.

What a great fucking game, the M’s came back, the SOX were down to their last out and Pablo did what?!?!?!?! Hit his first major league home run offa Everyday Eddie. Eddie also gave up a 9th Inning hr to Brian Anderson in GreenTown. Sorry other Eddie. It’s great to see any former Twin (besides AJ) struggle. – Sorry fans of Jacques le Strap and the Chicago Blues.

Then Pablo seeing where the D was playing in the 11th turning his next hit into a double, which turned into a game winning run. It was heads up/speed baseball near it’s best. It was almost worthy of a Juan Pierre – and I mean it fans of the Chicago Blues. If I could have my kid watch baseball players and how you play the smart game at the dish and on the base paths, Pierre is on my short list with Ichiro and a few other guys. I really wish the team I love had him (J.P.) in center (maybe next year) - - - sorry B.A. Maybe it’s better he’s on the blue team, think about it: a guy named Jacques – a guy with the last name Pierre – and Canadian, Ryan Dempster - - they could have a hockey team over there if they just rip out those ugly bushes, change Ronnie Whoo Whoo’s name to Ronnie Brrr Brrr, the food there is already cold and suitable only to those with broken teeth (again I kid because I love, I don’t know what the crappy food tastes like at Wiggly Field I ain’t never been there). Yeah, they could really be the Chicago Blues. Already on paper they’re better than the Blackhawks.

After the SOX won, I actually tuned in to the Blue game in hopes of seeing a Maddox (not in my spell check) winner, or a well pitched game by the 40-year-old pitching like he was in his prime. No such luck. I was a little bummed for them and their fans (out in force) in AZ.

I got over it because I was so happy about the SOX win, especially the way it went down. Perfect. Good job Pablo. Even tho’ this was his first major league regular season homer…he hit a walk off dong in Spring training. Maybe he’ll do it in the post season this year.

One last note: Mark Prior – you heard it here first: He’s on drugs. Larry Rothsourchild o’ mine said that MP is still recovering from food poisoning and it is unclear when he will return to work on his arm. And by the way, what sort of "work" was Prior doing?

THROWING A MOIST TOWEL 22 TIMES OFF OF FLAT GROUND?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

How good do you have to feel to do that? Or a better question might be, how fucked up are you if you can’t do that? Not that I’m making a personal confession here, but I had a friend who missed plenty of musical excursions with his Cousin and his older bands and/or his friend RobbieG because he had "food poisoning" that lingered for months on end. That friend of mine only made his judicial hearings and/or court dates but missed a lot of other things because of his food poisoning. Friends, that friend did not have food poisoning (which usually lasts 24-48 hours not months), he was on the goofballs. Mark Prior has struggled with his food poisioning since friggin’ December. He’s missed out on his schedule of simulated games and his only public appearance has been at the Just Ducky trial. Why? There’s only one answer.

Goofballs.

Après Moi le Deluge

No Owwie for Moussaoui

God Bless the good jury from Alexandria, VA.

----- --------------------- - - - - - - -------------- --------------------------------- - - - - - - -

May 3, 2006 · ALEXANDRIA, Va. (AP) -- A federal jury rejected the death penalty for al-Qaida conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui on Wednesday and decided he must spend life in prison for his role in the deadliest terrorist attack in U.S. history.
After seven days of deliberation, the nine men and three women rebuffed the government's appeal for death for the only person charged in this country in the four suicide jetliner hijackings that killed nearly 3,000 people on Sept. 11, 2001.
The verdict came after four years of legal maneuvering and a six-week trial that put jurors on an emotional roller coaster and gave the 37-year-old Frenchman of Moroccan descent a platform to taunt Americans. The judge was to hand down the life sentence Thursday morning, bound by the jury's verdict.
It was the sixth case in a row since the death penalty was restored in 1976 in which federal prosecutors failed to obtain an execution in this courthouse -- all the more striking this time because the Pentagon is just miles away.

-------------- ------------------ - - ------ ------------------- ------ ---------------------

Our regime is always worth defending and more so when its legal system attempts to act with cool deliberation, even in the presence of anger, confusion, frustration and such. Moussaoui was so broken inside he was a terrorist-suicide-bomber-wannabe. Not even on my worst day have I fallen that low. I say what I say here as a Catholic and not as an American. Praise God that my name is not on that death sentence (as I believe it would have been a federal death sentence, that’s all of us "we the people" as far as I understand). I believe the death penalty is Constitutional…declaring it unconstitutional was one of the most unconstitutional not to say utterly incoherent decision ever rendered by the Black-Robed, Hammer Wielding gods of Mt. Hall of Justice.

While I have tried to present myself here (and tried to honestly be) a Catholic who is accepting of a wide range of positions from other Catholics, sisters and brothers in the faith from the Protestant sects, those from the Orthodox side who clearly can read a calendar better than Catholics can, "recovering Catholics," deists, atheists (professed or otherwise), Gnostics, Diagnostics, Scientologists, Zoroastrians, followers of Zorro, futurists, Neo Futurists, medievalists (shout out to Steener), Jews orthodox and otherwise who I (and the Catechism) consider to be "elders in the faith," Yaziddidiis (I can’t even spell them yet their opinions are welcome), relativists, secular humanists, secular Inhumanists (shout out to Black Bolt...please do not shout back Black Bolt), Black Panthers, White Panthers, the Pink Panther, fans of the new Pink Panther movie, people who work in the insulation industry (shout out to Klaus von....waitaminute that's the insulin industry) Heaven's Gate the Next Generation, Trekkers (or is it Trekkies - You decide!), HELL – I EVEN LET SATAN POST HERE A FEW DAYS BACK….

…uh, the point? I try pretty hard to be open-minded but not be afraid to publicly admit the degree to which my beloved Church helps frame my opinions in certain important matters. One opinion I will simply say is wrong is: Catholics or those who claim to be serious followers of Christ who support the death penalty. I think among those I listed as "serious believers" of the Testaments Old and New…the Orthodox Jews are off the hook (at least in my feeble mind) because they have a scriptural and philosophical tradition that defends the death penalty and they are, to a certain extent, bound by that tradition. I do not believe that it is a defensible position to say:

A.) I am a serious Catholic.
B.) I support state or Federal death penalty laws as a positive good in society.

The moment B.) becomes your position, it might as well be A.) and I will, with all the charity I can muster, say:

"You sir are a law and order man of the first magnitude. Your Red State credentials are secure. In matters of the Christian faith however, you are mistaken. I will pray for you."

And you are in pretty bad shape when I am praying for you.

List to Help Me Break Free of My Nut Vice

My nuts are being crushed by stupid fucking work leading up to finals week. Here’s the beginning of what I have to do, and pretty much in this order:

1. Round up my Engel v. Vitale notes for last Religion and the Constitution lecture
2. Assemble the stuff for Reading Day make up quizzes
3. Meet with remaining students discussing their R&C papers
4. Begin grading R&C papers
5. Invent time machine to have all the papers done by our R&C exam date
6. Pick up course evaluation packet for R&C
7. Pick up eval. packets for both sections of the History of Social Thought
8. Put together last R&C review session
9. Get it together for the HST review session
10. Clear off my schedule (at least Tuesday morning of finals week) to make sure I’m available for additional student meetings
11. Make sure I get the stuff Kim needs for work and drop it off later this morning
12. Double check my Torasco v. Watkins shit as well as the pre-incorporation 1st Amendment cases (at least Permoli v. New Orleans) and my one post 14th Amendment religion case that deals with the issue at hand as a trust fund rather than making up the usual/unusual things the SC does re: the interpretation of the 1st amendment after 1947. Probably do the Quick Bear v. Leupp (1908) – that’s a trust fund issue…double check my original additional notes. I can also remind my students who are Cub fans that this was the year the sad blue machine last won the World Series. Hey it’s still pretty impressive, it was a 9 game series back then. Shout out for the Sultan of Swaff – go Reds, it would be great for baseball if either the Reds or the Brewers win the NL Central.
13. Start doing HST quiz tallies
14. Finish multiple choice section for HST final
15. Finish matching section for HST final
16. Narrow down the HST essay choices for final to 5 – no more than fucking 5
17. Reduce the R&C Final Exam short questions to 5 – no more than fucking 5
18. Revise mandatory blue book essay question for R&C final
19. Determine the amount and decide on the actual 15point essay choice questions for R&C final
20. Finish paperwork for new POLS classes I’m teaching in 06-07…hopefully the last go-round
21. Get those other letters of recommendation together
22. Do all the other shit Kim told me to do
23. Crap my pants

A Target of Opportunity

Grant Miller is My Hero

I’m no judge of character, but Grant Miller is my hero. I first met Grant when he was a college freshman. He lived on my wife’s floor (uh, in the dorm where Kim was the RA, not the guy who actually lived on her floor – she swears that he is gone and they only call each other on holidays and their anniversary). Grant’s assigned freshman roommate was an interesting fellow, and by interesting fellow I mean completely fucking insane.

One day Grant asked if Kim and I could come over and bear witness to something in his room. OK, I didn’t go over there in any official capacity. I can honestly say I’ve never done anything in this life in an official capacity.

Grant pointed to his roommate’s (let’s call him X) bulletin board: “I didn’t say anything about the picture of Hitler in a peace sign.”

I always knew Hitler was secretly a hippie!

Grant opened his roommate’s closet and revealed an entire wardrobe of WWII German soldier uniforms: “I don’t really mind the WWII reenactment gear. It smells sometimes after maneuvers but what’re ya gonna do?”

Pulling some objects from under the bed: “I even used one of X’s samurai swords as a letter opener. Please don’t tell X.”

But, pointing at a hand grenade under the bed next to the swords: “I think I have to draw the line at this.”

You really get to know a guy while you’re hanging out, waiting for the bomb squad to arrive.

Today I noticed a comment from Grant Miller on a blog that I visit from time to time. She is The Company Bitch. I won’t waste space linking her here, she’s pretty e-famous and if you haven’t heard of her check out The Company Bitch. The blog is pretty funny and you never know who you’ll meet.

I bumped into Grant Miller. Hadn't heard from him in years. Read all about Grant at his official site, and get all the latest dirt on him at the unofficial site.

Golden Star

I wanted to look for Frank Cezan’s polka club in Milwaukee but there wasn’t time. I think it was called Golden Star (or Ta Starra Ya Bona to those who were down with the Amerikanized Slovelinguo). Frank Cezon came over from Yugoslavia at the same time as my mom’s dad and they were the same age, 16. I’ll write more about my Grandpa Vessel in this blog at some point. I’m not trying to be timely, talking about my roots in the wake of a Day Without Immigrants. It’s just funny, I was in Milwaukee over the weekend, looking at the decimation (they done blowed up a big part of that town, presumably to put in a new town)…I wondered if Cezan’s club was part of what was done away with to make room for the new. That’s when all all these thoughts of my mom’s dad came to me. We were close and he told me stories about leaving home. Note: leaving home, not coming to America. His friend Frank Cezan had the typical big dreams of coming to America and making it as a professional musician, having a niteclub etc…and he sort of got that. Cezan was also lucky enough to open the club when Frankie Yankovic was making all those Capitol records in the 50’s. Polkas that were hits for the Love of Ljubljana!?!?!??!. I always got the sense that my Grandfather just left for the sake of leaving. His mom died, his dad married someone else, the new mom wanted the old kids out of her house and he was too sad about his mom dying to try staying. He had to get the fuck out. They should put that somewhere on the Statue of Liberty:

Give us your people who’ve just got to get the fuck out. They need a break too.

By the way, I’d like to say to my friends and family who vote for the Blue Ties because the represent the law and order crowd – why didn’t they take the opportunity to round up all the illegal/undocumented folks publicly protesting yesterday? Here’s your answer: If they don’t take the time to arrest them when they are working in their houses, why would they arrest them when they are marching in the streets? I have beloved family members who have strong feelings about how these undocumented aliens are costing us an arm and a leg in insurance rates. This is just a suspicion, but illegal or undocumented aliens don’t raise insurance rates, insurance agents do. The availability and the development of medical tech, research into both tech and medicines, advances in treating cancer etc are the blessings/bastards that will both help to prolong our lives and the lives of our loved ones – and cost us a bunch of money in insurance to meet rising health care costs. Your insurance premium did not go up because some brown-skinned kid who doesn’t speak English has pneumonia and is waiting in an ER in Morgansville, CA (I just made up the name of that town, it has no significance) – it’s more likely that rates went up because some actuary wants to put his kids through college, or buy a boat or develop some interest outside of being an actuary. Is that justice? Is that proper?

Sorry. I just like being a prick to those who think the Blue Tie Crowd really represents their values. In my case, I got what I wanted from the Reblikan Congress and Presidency (and I didn’t even have to vote for their presidential candidate, the Artist Formerly Known as ‘Tootie’) – two Supreme Court Justices that actually read the Constitution and try not to make up a bunch of shit as they go along. Do I think they will use their knowledge to protect issues of real liberty and life in the way that I think these things ought to be protected? No. Do I think they will roll back the Constitutional right of privacy and a whole bunch of other shit made up by the Court (all for good reasons of course but also setting the precedent that when it comes to applying the BofR by way of the 14th Amendment the SC can say make up whatever it wants)? Again, no. But they’re better than the guys that BF Kerry would’ve given us (although I’ve got a feeling if he actually won the Election of 2004, Sandra Day wouldn’t have retired and Rehnquist would’ve found a way not to die).

Here’s something I know a little more about…SPORTS!!!!

I admire the two Baby Blue bears (the Red Mur-Ton and Marshall Sweeping Curve Ball) more than I dislike Krusty and Ka-razy Carlos Zelda Zambrano. There is some hope for the Blue Squadron after all.

Cleveland fans booed my new Homie (but he got a nice insurance run in the 9th) and the shenanigans w/ AJ, well I understood all that. Especially the double whammy with AJ, first plunking him, then Boone or whoever trying to plow into him on the base paths. Only olekobe, Santi (who kept sending me those damned ‘Go Tribe!’ e-mails) and Sultan o’ Swaff will probably remember last year when the pesky Indians were cutting into the SOX seemingly insurmountable lead in the Central, there was a breakthrough game that the SOX had to win to stop their surging rivals. In that game AJ was running to 3rd when a wild throw came over there, Boone fell over in an attempt to field the errantly thrown ball and he landed flat on his stomach. As AJ rounded 3rd he stepped right in the middle of Boone’s back as if to say ‘We’re stepping right over you pricks to win this thing’ - - so believe me, I understand why the Tribe would retaliate thusly. I was surprised they waited this long. It was a great weekend in Chicago sports and I was glad to be wrong about how my beloved SOX would do against the Halos. I guess they got all the strikeouts out of the way against the Pink Bunny Team. And what the Bulls did to the Heat?!?!? MJ is still my favorite athlete ever, but if this team keeps doing stuff like this, I may end up loving the Baby Bulls more than the Jordan Bulls. Who am I kidding? Alex and I watched some crappy Bulls games this year – real suck fests. We couldn’t stop tuning in the next time around. Being a fan of the Bulls now is like a disease. Here’s hoping its chronic not terminal.

Heh heh heh…I said chronic.