Hitless Wonders

Alex and I watched the 1906 World Series as told in the Burns documentary.

Before the “Hitless Wonders” portion began I said to Alex that no team in baseball will ever end a regular season with a better winning percentage than the ’06 Cubs. They were 116-36 (only 154 games on schedule back then, fucking pussies).

He sat on my lap and we heard the prose of Franklin Adams with his famous “Tinker to Evers (sp? Jeanz? Bruce Levine?) to Chance” bit, we learned of the dominance of Ed Walsh, and the fact that the 1906 WhiteSOX hit just 7 home runs the whole season.

Brian Anderson would’ve still underperformed in 1906.

He saw a close up of Three Finger Mordaci Brown’s hand and responded with the appropriate, “Dad that’s freaking me out.”

I knew someone in high school nicknamed “Three Finger” but that’s a story for a never day.

Paused the DVD and told Alex a bit more than the Burns documentary contains. Mostly I told him about Game One (the 6th Inning of the ‘06 World Series, a story for a man to tell his son) which really stunned the baseball world of the time, foreshadowing the great upset. The SOX won the 1st game 2-1 in large part because of two errors at home. The second and most devastating error was a passed ball by Cub catcher Johnny Kling, allowing a SOX runner to make it to 3rd and then be knocked in on a weak single.

That was the game winning run and my point in the story was to tell the boy that no matter how great a team was, how good they were at the plate or their pitchers were, in baseball if you don’t catch the ball, if you don’t play sound defense, if you kick the ball all over the infield - then you will lose.

He said, “Yeah like my Tigers last year. They were better than the National League team but they couldn’t catch anything.”

Me: “Right, their pitchers were kids, except for Kenny Rogers but the other guys were young and spooked and their nerves may have cost them the World Series.”

We watched the 10 minutes on the 1906 World Series again and Alex shook his head…

“How could the best team lose the World Series?”

“It’s baseball son. Anything can happen.”

Just wait till he finds out about 1908, Fred Merkle and the furor of two games at the old Polo Grounds beneath Coogan's Bluff.

Leftover Thoughts from Yesterday

Attending Holy Mass in Spanish yesterday made me think of two things…

ONE – I want to hear the Mass in every language I can before I die.

TWO – Senor apparently is Spanish for Lord, otherwise I am convinced that the Spanish speaking world worships Mr. God.

Maybe I am an idiot and can’t even pick out the word for Lord from contextual clues in a church. Idiot, idiot, idiot.

The experience also made me think about my favorite part of the Mass. I think it’s the prayer used as a bridge from the Lord’s prayer to the “For the kingdom, the power and the glory” part.

The congregation concludes the Lord’s prayer and the priest usually says:

Deliver us Lord from every evil
And grant us peace in our days
In your mercy keep us free from sin
And protect us from all anxiety
As we wait in joyful hope
For the coming of our savior Jesus Christ

Finally, in thoughts unrelated to my attending Mass or anything holy for that matter...America may be ready for a black president, America may be ready for a woman to be president, America may one day be ready for a steroid injecting Austrian to be president...but are we seriously thinking about electing the bass player?

He's gonna walk into the room and the Cabinet isn't going to stand up. Their gonna be sittin' on their asses, reading the paper as the White House Chief of Staff screams: "Hey! You serve at the pleasure of the President of the United States and the president just walked into the room!"

To which the Sec of Transportation will respond: "President? Pfffft. He's the bass player."

Huckabee'll (not even a decent sounding contraction - even Bush'll sounds better)...Huckabee'll have to fire the Cabinet and replace them with the Old Dog's bass cabinet.

He will try to negotiate international treaties with a dramatic vision of the future while foreign dignitaries reply: "And if we refuse what will you do? Play Boris the Spider until we capitulate?"

Well, at least if a State of the Union address by President Huckabee grows tiresome, some random douche from the House floor can yell for Freebird.

This Life May Be Weird

/but it is mine

Took Alex to my folks on Sat. Thanks and much love to my mom and her friends for donating coats. We saw wolves, wild turkeys, raccoons, mountain cats of some sort or other, a guy wrestled/danced with a bear and none of this seemed to be “zoo-legal.”

Hustled over to Grandma Judi’s birthday party. Nice time and Kim’s lasagna was fantastic.

Somewhere in the middle of my cab ride from the OF to Hyde Park I was asked: “You know anybody interested in a great deal on some large screen, hi-def TVs? I can get two or possibly three?”

No.

Made it to Elise’s and I was glad to see her. I was the designated driver so my drinking was adjusted accordingly.

We behaved like dirty farmers the whole night.

Pretty sure our trip home took us past two fatal car crashes.

Mr J was ok to drive Jenny back from DK to his place. Slept in and the only Mass available to me today was the 4pm @ St. Mary’s in Spanish.

It was beautiful.

Last Ambersons Post

…for now at least.

Words cannot describe how incredibly stupid I feel when employing trite expressions like “words cannot describe.”

Thanks and much love to everyone who came to the last Ambersons show whether you came from Geneva/St. Chuck, Chicago, the nation’s capitol, or from right above the Paperback Grotto. Also thanks to everyone watching on the internet (be they with their pants on or off).

I counted 8 text messages waiting for me when I got off stage and they all had a similar theme. Let me answer those text messages from internet viewers now by saying “NO! The internet camera did NOT put on those 10-20 pounds. We put those on ourselves thank you very fucking much!”

Bastards.

What else?

The mind-numbingly boring drunk dumb-ass drama shit was kept to a minimum and for once the music and the useful memories associated with it were shared by all those who cared to do so.

Sweet.

Shocked, stupefied and amazed that our friend from the District and the star of Dear Jenny (who insists she is not a blogger) came all the way from where they came from to see what they saw.

Grant Miller simply rules the known universe.

My kid. He was amazing. After the gig he asked a thousand questions about the band and benefits and how soon we could do another one and if we could have drives for different clothes instead of just coats. He wants us to have a sock drive next.

I kept looking at Kim throughout the show. I forgot how many of those songs were written about her and us when we were courting. I am so glad that I have this great girl and had that great band to make and share those memories.

In getting ready for the show I listened to Current which I had not done since we made it. Everyone worked so hard on that record. Maybe we knew we were near the end of the line, maybe we didn’t.

What will stick with me from the rehearsals to playing the show was how great Bill, Sonia and Joe sounded when they sang together. I was so happy they got to do it one more time and I was there to hear it.

I know me, Chris, Joe & Dev have our shit together. We have really been battle tested in the last year and ½ playing gigs - good and bad. Hearing those kids sing together was something different and special.

Sonia still can sing her ass off. She and Bill were so gracious with each other up there. The next time I am playing some tough show with bigDrag or one of my things I’ll think of them and what they did on Thursday and be inspired. Well done Bill & Sonia.

The show last night gave me some perspective on that band that I never had while I was in it. I was trying so hard to become a serious writer. I sort of accidentally fell into this other kind of writing. Songs like Alice, Drinkinstone, To Bea or Be basically all the songs that weren’t about Kim or dead people were things I wrote out of frustration because I ran out of ideas for some bullshit novel, fake-ass tome (Jim?) or short story I was writing.

Before I knew it I was caught up in writing, playing, and recording them with my five wonderful friends who made these things so much more than they would have been if left in my hands. The Ambersons turned some throwaway songs into things that people liked or at least cared enough about to remember and shout for us to play. The show last night demonstrated to me that for a long time I didn’t even know what my art or craft or whatever – I didn’t know what it was or what it was for.

Thanks and much love to everyone there who helped me to see that on Thursday.

Many folks have some swell memories associated with seeing bands like us from that time in DeKalb. It’s a normal thing in a town like ours for people like us. I’ll say one last time for anyone who has a fond memory of that band and any of its songs, I feel privileged to be a small part of that.

Drank a little too much after the show but I fucking earned it. The rest of the band was gone. I had a few extra pops with Josh & Jenny. I turned to them before I left and said “That’s it for tonight. I’m exhausted.”

But it was a good exhausted.

Anyone who wants to see a recorded version of the live feed may do so at will by clicking HERE

Great job Chris B and way to go Ambersons.

Wicker Elephant Lamp

Be at the House in DeKalb, IL - EIGHT PM SHARP to see those old timey Magnificent Ambersons.

Those who can't be there in the flesh can see our show in zeros and ones if you go to bigdragdotnet. Chris tested out the camera hooked into his laptop with a better mic & it sounds darn good. I'm proud of that little guy. I'm thinking of doing the underwear trick in front of the camera at the end of the show. That should put an end to these pesky internets once and for all. I got some tight-y whities (sp? Jeanz? David Duke? anyone?) and found the right kind of shoes...

If you have to get to bed early and you are in DeKalb, bring a coat, stop by and say hi like our friend the PDawg. See internet celebrities like THE Official Grant Miller. My instinct is he has aged better than most. Come for the coat drive, stay for the warm glow of a nice night of gettin' yer drunk on in DeKalb.

Think 'too corny for Up with People' and that's us.

Really, I shouldn't be so self-defecating.

People have said some nice things about us getting back together to play this show and it makes me happy. I don't ever say it, because there are so many more hilarious, em-fucking-barrassing stories that make for better bar fodder....

But I was really proud of my time in that band.

My only fear about tomorrow is I won't want to get off the stage and that's the truth.

More good rock 'n roll news - bigDrag is playing a show with Blue Cheer @ Otto's in DeKalb FRIDAY NOVEMBER 16TH.

I am actually going to get involved with promoting this thing because I fucking love Blue Cheer. Cousin Mike made some great mix tapes with their music on it...we'd waste way too many hours listening to it on crappy tape players in our tree fort.

Bands like Blue Cheer are part of the reason I got into rock 'n roll. They are so loud and obnoxious and you know they hated opening for the Dead in the 60's and just tried to blow them and everything else away.

The Dead was their Mr. Blotto.

Their El Guapo was the real El Guapo.

For some shyness might be their El Guapo.
For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo.

//for us it was trying to play a rock show with a wicker elephant lamp as stage lighting.

Last Practice

Last Ambersons practice before the coat drive show.

Thursday - THIS WEEK - be there, Aloha.

We laughed until we peed tonight. We learned that just because we can mouth-sing many of Devin's solos, that does not make them any fucking easier to play.

It's funny how almost athletic our dinky-dinky little tunes were...or how many more intricate parts there are compared to the bD stuff.

My hands hurt right now and some of that has to do with guitar playing.

Sorry.

There may be some big news on the bigDrag front coming shortly.

I don't want to jinx it like I have jinxed the rest of our career so let me say nothing for now.

I'll be blue if it doesn't happen, but I will cheer if all goes as planned.

Camel Hip

/or Let’s Take the Hipsters to the Pumpkin Patch

/or How I Got a Facial Sunburn in Late October


Yesterday I found out that there is a right way and a wrong way to get on a camel. Ow! My fucking hip is still sore.

The most important thing I found out yesterday is how much I enjoy being a grown up. Yes. I enjoy being a boring, dorky family guy.

Thanks and much love to Steener & Joe for organizing our yearly outing to Goebberts. Johnny, Em & V followed (despite my inept leading) and we met Dev, Laura, Tiny E and unnamed baby in tummy at the pumpkin patch. Joy and fun was had by all. We took a tractor ride to the 99% flood-destroyed, pumpkin patch…

By the way, where was FEMA during this pumpkin crisis? Fucking Bush.

Our tractor got stuck in the mud. The befuckingfuddled tractor driver kept rocking the tractor, of course digging us deeper in the rut (not a metaphor) and the way poor Laura was being jolted around I thought we had a chance of meeting unnamed baby on this beautiful, fall afternoon.

By the way, where was FEMA while our tractor was stuck in the mud? Fucking Bush.

This was the only incident of the day, and it was a cute, family-fun, Kodak carousel slide moment.

Sorry Mad Men fans.

Anyone who knows me & Devin know we have seen some dark and stupid fucking days in our lives.

During the ride home I kept thinking how sweet it was to have made it through whatever stupidity I have subjected myself to in my life and be able to enjoy things like a Saturday afternoon spent on a pumpkin farm with my wife and child. I was happy to see my old friend was in the same place as well.

All the things that were soooo big, so dramatic (to speak as the idiot I was) all the things that seemed so tragic, existential or chaotic and seemed to be a justification for destructive behavior...

I can't remember half of what they were or why they bothered me so much.

This probably sounds like some bullshit, self-congratulatory nonsense and I guess it is.

It’s just cool to see everyone grown up and playing nice.

Thank you God for my family & friends, please be with them all their days.

Happy Birthday Kid Sister

Today was a fun day for my little crew and our friends. I may write about that tomorrow. Right now I just wanna wish my sister a Happy B-Day and say thanks to our mom for donating to the MA coat drive.

God bless you both.

F Pinker

So this cocksucking fuck has ass-birthed another worthless pile for cumholes, dick-cunts and vagrants to read while they're waiting to eat shit and die.

The Stuff of Thought

It sounds fascinating.

um, and fuck you too.

Sorry.

Sadly I am starting to get tired of the new Beiruit already. I was excited when Tom Moon or whoever had the high praise for Lon Gisland. I'd been listening to the Zack(or is it Zak?) Condon stuff on line for awhile. At first I thought he was one of my former students.

I am such a pompous ass.

But when I read a Lon Gisland ep review I thought 'Yeah this kid is making waves. As long as they don't turn him into a Bright Eyes with an accordion and euphonium it's gonna be ok."

Well, that didn't happen to him but I am still tired of some of the new tracks.

And as evidence that my musical taste is all fucked up, I am not as into this new, complex wonderful music but I keep listening to this track from Jack and Meg over and over and over and over

I feel myself about to be kicked out of the band again eh Chris?

Good News Bad News

Glad to hear that are friend from the District is planning to leave the District. I do not know what I will call him when he leaves the District. The artist formerly known as our friend from the District?

I'd like to say I could do better than that but who am I crappin'?

I'd only be crappin' myself.

We're happy and excited that he's coming to the greater Chicago area. I hope he won't be too sad when he finds out he's leaving this guy/band back in DC.

It probably doesn't matter in the long run. There's a ton more great music here, there and everywhere the fuck else. I'm just really into the Miss Amputee song these days. I'm gonna get Waltzes and Pleas sometime soon.

Last Revelation Bible study tonight. Fr. Hart did some amazing work and impressed on all of us the importance of reading this book, among all the others - responsibly.

If you know Greek, you know that the alpha-numeric name for the second beast is Nero-Caesar (Rev Ch13 v. 11-18). Father has been trying to remind us that if we read this book like 1st Century Christians we can see that it addresses their pressing political concerns, not some book of prophecy that describes actual beasts, false prophets to come, a road map for the endtimes etc...

There are reasons why people want to see Revelation in this way, in our times and, with all charity those reasons are what give some modern Christians their well-deserved bad reputations.

OK there was almost no charity in those remarks. What're ya gonna do?

Fr's goal then, for the past several weeks is to get us to understand the symbolism and how that symbolism was understood by it's intended audience...not the left behind book writin and readin motherfuckers.

Father didn't say motherfucker.

What I wanted to understand was the intended imagery by John (or the author/authors claiming to be John...whatever John this is)....oh, what I wanted to understand was the imagery of the 1st Beast at the beginning of Rev Ch.13 (v. 1-10).

Not to be confused with Paul Konerko. He plays 1st Base.

I asked Father: "Is it fair to assume then that if the second beast has to be Nero the first beast can't be the emperor Domitian (he came after) and the first beast is some political ruler in Rome who ruled before Nero, or maybe some pre-Roman leader who oppressed Israel?"

The last part of my question was the most important part to me. There is a revelation of Daniel in the Book of Daniel. There are several connections between Revelation and the Book of Daniel. I was sort of aware of them and Father certainly helped me understand these to a greater extent during the past few weeks.

I wondered if the pre-Roman leader, the 1st beast was Nebuchadnezzar or the unnamed Assyrian king defeated by Cyrus the Great, or Cyrus the Elder.

The Assyrian king in history of course had a name he wasn't the Clint Eastwood Assyrian King Without a Name or any shit like that.

He is unnamed in my favorite source on such things, Xenophon.

Out of respect and love (as much love as one can have for a man whose name means "slayer of strangers") out of these things I will follow Xenophon and not name the unnamed king.

The revelation of Daniel takes place in the 3rd year of Cyrus' reign. To the Israelites Cyrus is not Kupos (that's his name in the Greek - the Greeks also being fascinated by the great Persian emperor), he is Koresh he is a Messiah for God's chosen people. He frees them from Assyrian and Chaldean oppression and grants them the religious freedom for which they have longed.

Anyway, Father said the first beast was Rome and Roman institutions and I found the answer unsatisfying.

The rest of the class rocked!...except for the one I had to miss cuz I played the rock show in Rockford. I'm sure that class rocked too, I was just not there to witness it.

What the Hell Do I Know

Started showing Alex the Burns’ baseball documentary and he’s into it. He really wanted to hear the stories of the old timey baseball, and he is interested in my versions of these stories…or at least he pretends to listen.

Every time I do stuff like this I think of the Saint Crispian’s Day speech from Henry V…not to be confused with Jason X.

What's he that wishes so?
My cousin Westmorland. No, my fair cousin:
If we are marked to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God's will, I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It ernes me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires:
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England:
God's peace, I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more, methinks, would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more.
Rather proclaim it presently through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart. His passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse:
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is called the Feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a-tiptoe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall see this day and live t'old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say "To-morrow is Saint Crispian":
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars
And say "These wounds I had on Crispin's day."
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remembered.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he today that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now abed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. (IV, iii)



This story shall the good man teach his son.

I’m glad I live in this time where the stories I teach my son have more to do with a game like baseball than war.

I realize this makes me sound like a very modern man, and to some extent – that is what I am.

Alex has shown interest in martial history. I choose the examples carefully. The great generals we have discussed at some length:

Alexander the Great – in part because of his name but also in terms of how he united peoples and encouraged the intermingling of cultures.

U.S. Grant – in whom one can find some of the best and worst elements of modern warfare.

Cyrus the Elder – for some of the same reasons as Grant, only from the ancient perspective. Also Cyrus received a poor, last-minute education from his own father. The real education Cyrus gets is from war and conquest. Cyrus also fails to teach this to his sons and what happens? The brothers’ relationship deteriorates and the empire crumbles. The good man needs to teach their son about the education of Cyrus lest they suffer the fate of the fathers and sons, at least in Xenophon's version. One father fails to teach his conqueror son in the proper time, the conquering son fails to teach anything to his sons and all that was gained is lost. Maybe not to Cyrus, he gets to hold the empire but it dies with him.

Leonides I, King of Sparta – and I do not teach Alex the Frank Miller version…what free men do when dark menaces come from the middle east. Rather, Leonides and his 300 men against Xerxes’ two million (maybe defeating over 20,000 of them) are used by me as a lesson that sometimes a man has to stand up no matter who or how many stand against him. (Interestingly enough, some say that Herodotus really teaches that Leonides sends the other Greeks home because he (Leonides) believes that Xerxes’ army has lost its heart and he wanted to defeat them winning all the glory for Sparta making him a victim of his own pride…come to think of it, in this light Leonides sounds like the less successful version of Harry the King. Herodotus may be right or have the rights to this story more than me & Frank Miller combined, but Herodotus can teach his son that version and I’ll teach mine, mine)

Alex listens to the war stories and is sufficiently interested but he smiles and laughs at the baseball legends. He can’t wait to watch more of Part I tomorrow night. I’m not sure baseball has captured his imagination and I might not be capable of presenting it in its proper light.

Baseball’s story is complicated.

But part of me still believes I can teach it, it is worth teaching and I believe this to be one of the great stories that the good man teaches his son.

Sustaining Wood

I am endlessly fascinated by stories of international, consumer/environmental watchdogs prowling WalMarts for goods made from illegally procured lumber.

Story

I know I should not make light of such things but I can’t help myself.

I keep thinking about the guy saying “See, this picture frame? Made in China.”

Interviewer: “So this frame is bad because it was made from illegal wood by slave labor?”

Watchdog guy: “No, the Chinese get most of their wood illegally from Russia. The Russian Mafia smuggles millions in wood to Chinese, and manufacturers around the world.”

This is proof that the Russian mob is infinitely more interesting than I suspect our cosa nostra are here in the good ole USA.

They’ve got lumberjacks!

We've got a lumberjack mob gap. This would never happen if Kennedy was still president.

Congress, probably snickering like the sophomoric jackals they are (but we love them because they are our sophomoric jackals) is getting involved. Politikos around this nation, feel free to steal these obvious headlines you could’ve written yourself

CONGRESS LAYS THE WOOD ON ILLEGAL TIMBER IMPORTS

CONGRESS STIFFENS PENALTIES FOR WOOD VIOLATIONS

HARD TIMES COMING FOR WOOD SMUGGLERS

“TIMBER!” RESTRICTIONS COME DOWN ON QUESTIONABLE LUMBER HARVESTS

MARK FOLEY OUTRAGED THAT THIS LEGISLATION NEVER CAME BEFORE HIM WHEN HE WAS IN CONGRESS

CONGRESS PENIS ERECT PENIS REFERENCE TREES DICK DICK DICK

In Downloads

Someone on the air with Bob Bolin described the new Radiohead release as a “profound gimmick.”

I don’t think it was Tom Moon. That’s too profound for him.

Sorry Mr. Moon and Philadelphia critics in general.

I did not participate in the first large-scale record release that mattered since Use Your Illusion I & II.

I am not comparing G’nR & Radiohead by any stretch of the imagination. That’s a conversation not worth having and even the thinking about the conversation not worth having is not worth doing.

With Radiohead's download release they get to say, or ask...

How much is our music worth to you? We want to know, or at least we are letting you name your price.

Yes it draws attention to the band and makes this ‘not just another Radiohead release’

But that band doesn’t have to worry about that with its followings. I still am pouring through that stupid Thom Yorke record.

Oh, Robert Christgau called the In Rainbows release a “profound gimmick.” Credit where credit is due.

I’ve written about this before but having access to my record collection on my office machine or on a machine I carry with me has changed the value I place on my beloved music.

It has made much of what I listen to a commodity with limited value…in terms of time – how much time I spend on a record. Most decent shit gets a good deal of my attention over a short period of time and then sort of embeds itself in my various shuffle playlists that I call up based on mood.

Radiohead’s Name Yer Price promo is a variation on that theme.

Again, I don’t give a shit about this from a marketing or marketing music perspective. I don’t give a rat’s hinder about that.

I just like the way they ask the question.

Finally, in the category of 'weird random shit I found on these internets' - here's ashow I wish I went to in DeKalb:

Braid live @ 7 Dead Arson

Fuck Fox

First and most importantly, they ought to fire the boneheaded fuck in charge of camera direction for Fox football...at least the guy who is running the Bears Viqueens game. The wrong Adrian Peterson has made a bunch of great runs today and I have no sense of the field.

The camera is zeroed in on the line of scrimmage from an angle and then when a player breaks into the open field it is completely locked in on the helmet and shoulder pads of the ball carrier.

This better look great on hi-def because it looks like absolute shit on my tv.

The only thing football has over baseball (for me at least) is how much better the game looks on tv and this is garbage.

Sure, I'm all in favor of trying something new as long as it is not unwatchable.

This is unwatchable and I am heading to the golf course.

I'd rather watch Faux News than this claustrophobic, novelty-for-the-sake-of-something new B.S.

Way to ruin a good thing Fox. First America, now the National Football League.

Can the ass-raping of puppies be far behind?

Character Gig

We almost cut out last night. Chris made it to the bar first. He waited around outside and when Joe & I ran into him he said “Did you know there’s no PA? If we play this show we may interrupt a serious dart game going on.”

Devin just left the Big City. We started backing away from the bar and in the general direction of our vehicles when we ran into an old friend. He bought us a beer and it was great to see this guy, a former neighbor of Bill &I now all grown up and living in Rockford.

We met Bob, the owner and he seemed like a sweet guy – happy to have us out.

The booker showed up and he bought food for the band. He gave us the skinny and said “Let’s have fun.”

Dev showed, some old DK friends made it out, got to see Lady Di and we were all in a good mood.

Played great, just a blistering bigDrag set – about as good as anything we’ve ever done.

The five people in the bar and the door girl are our witnesses.

Really that’s all we needed.

One guy who was really getting into the show said: “Who needs people?!”

Me: “Yeah! Fuck people. What have they ever given me? Fucking misery”

Laughter from the chosen few in attendance in this funny/uber-rocking, rock show

I know I sound full of myself but I don’t care.

One thing that is certain, no one has ever come up to me and said “You don’t belong up there dufus”

And the reason why?…I believe that what I am a part of is good. You don’t have to believe you’re Baretta, you don’t even have to think you belong on that particular stage…but you do have to know, for the hour or so the show is going on that you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing at that moment in time.

Last night we were.

Thanks Rockford and thanks CJ’s.

Your pizza was good and you pay well.

Furd

Tonight bigDrag puts the ROCK in Rockford

and the ILL in Illinois

And my favorite old and tired expression describes perfectly my feelings this morning.

I feel so old and tired I don't know which way is up the hill.

But I will figure that out soon enough today. It's always a good day when you wake up in the morning and know you are going to play a rockshow that night.

Also on the plus side, Kim got a fantastic new cut and she looks great. If you see me complaining about anything, do me a favor and kick me in the bag.

Thnx

Good Man

Kim and Alex spent most of Sat in the OF. While I missed them, I played outside all day and had a great time. Did some garage stuff, yard stuff and cut most of the grass. Then, I actually paid for golf and went to South Pointe to do something different. Hot as hell, but for me with my bats in hand – FUCKING BEAUTIFUL DAY!

Golfed with these two nice young men. They were 6 beers ahead of me but big baseball fans and we had some excellent conversation. All of us hit the ball pretty well and it helped the general mood and camaraderie. While we loved beer, baseball and golf let’s say me and these boys were at different stages of our lives when it comes to relationships. They wanted me to firmly convince them that sex with the same woman, even after 16 years could still be good.

I finally said: “Fellas you’ll either find out I am right or be divorced. It’s an interesting gamble because half your shit hangs in the balance.”

We all agreed that Saturdays were made for golf, doin’ it and beer.

I wish Kim was here.

Sorry fans of ambersongs.

Back to the triumvirate of pleasures - I don’t think there is anything wrong or licentious with me saying or believing that. I am a man that loves life and part of loving life means being able to enjoy (but not be a slave to) the pleasures of the body. Sun, beer and love are three good things. If that’s all there was to my life that would be sad but as it is these things make my life rich. Unlike some rich men, I believe I know how to enjoy what the Lord has blessed me with…

The only other disagreement of the day was how to treat cub fans if they lost the series (the tragedy of Game 3 had yet to play out)

One guy was a WhiteSOX fan, the other guy was a Yankee fan from Toledo

???

I said “If they lose tonight, which I don’t know if they will…but if they are swept and the series ends badly I’m gonna hug any cub fan I find.”

The boys were like “Fuck that they think their shit doesn’t stink blah blah blah…”

Shit I usually say.

I didn’t go into a diatribe on why cub fans deserve to be hugged or how they should be hugged…

Dev, DC, Bill Garver – I’m coming to get you.

Seriously I’ll talk about the baseball things that went right and wrong with both sides of town at some point…

But for now I will say why I am sad for my cub fan friends and cub fans in general. More than any other fan, they just want to be happy. Their team plays in a beautiful park in the best summer city in the world…the beer is delicious EXCEPT WHEN THE CUNTS CUT ME AND MY FRIENDS OFF…….

Sorry cunts

But the real cub fan does not love the misery. They may live with some bad shit, but they want to win - they want the success of beautiful summer days well-spent to turn into the memory of one championship season.

Nothing is inevitable here. It is not inevitable that they continue losing, nor are they entitled to the most hallowed team sports crown because they have waited so long and faced so much misery in the waiting.

What I will say to my cub fan friends is:

You deserve to be happy, and you should be happy after this season. Things didn’t go the way you dreamed but that’s another way in which baseball follows real life. If we have the right attitude about it, it helps us see daily, trivial failures for what they are.

Life is too short to dwell on the failures. There are too few baseball seasons that will pass in our lifetime to not enjoy every one of them…even the ones that break our hearts.

I’m not sure that each baseball season is a microcosm of human life starting out with such promise and at the end leaving 90-some % of souls wondering ‘What went wrong?’

But baseball marks time with feats of strength and agility, joy and disappointment.

My team stands a wee bit taller than the Kansas City Royals. Herve Villechaize stands a wee bit taller than both of them.

Sorry Fantasy Island fans.

As crappy of a year as it was for my beloved SOX the season ending helped me look back on the summer and reminded me of all I did with my family, friends etc…and all the fun we had.

I don’t know if any of this helps cub fans or anyone but one thing I do hope is that no baseball fans out there lose heart even if next year marks the centennial of World Seriesless ball on the northside….even if we get to the sesquicentennial or the Sasquatchcentennial….

Sorry BigFoot.

When I was ripping on Go Cubs Go Devin and others told me not to rip Steve Goodman. Cub Girl or someone suggested I should go find out more about him and see that he and I were alike in some ways. I’d like to think I have a City of New Orleans in me.

Sorry Katrina victims.

He faced some pretty hard shit at the end of his life. He faced it with music, dignity and an unrelenting love of the Chicago cubs. He never got to see the team of his youth win it all, but you want to hope and pray that dying 11 days before the cubs played their first post-season game since 1945 helped him put those final, painful days in perspective. Baseball is not family, or faith or love but there is comfort and even poetry to be had.

I hope we all find some of the above and remember all that was beautiful about this and every baseball season.

God bless you cub fans, Steve Goodman, and baseball fans everywhere.

Klassic Rok

Last night drove back to the South Side to help Al with some computer issues (yes, it is bad when I am your IT guy) and to spend some time with the fam. Kim was already out there. She said “Bring Alex out, help my dad and we’ll have some dinner.”

Cool. I like dinner.

Lots of fucking traffic – stupid Hillside Strangler even in this supposedly, post-Strangler world you still get bottled up all over the joint.

Alex was tired of playing Ghost Rider vs. Superman and bored listening to my sports radio. He said “Let’s listen to some music daddy.”

The boy and I are driving in the shitty sangria-red, manual (Jerry?), no air-conditioning, fully-loaded with a tape deck and AM/FM radio Ford Fuck-us. Let’s say the radio display screen is unreadable because it was its destiny to be unreadable…

…and that destiny had little if anything at all to do with my fist.

Alex had been so good I thought ‘Gee I’ve got to find something for him’

He likes the Chicago NPR jazz show when we’re traveling closer to the city but it wasn’t on at this time.

I refuse to play one of the ‘We Play Everything’ or ‘Best Variety on the Radio’ stations (even though they are easy to find without a radio display screen)

Until such stations play the floating Basement they cannot claim to play “everything.” Sure those recordings are shitty, but shit is a thing hence a part of the larger set of Things which, by definition, must be included as part of "everything".

Stumbled across a classic rock station which are just as easy to find. Now when I was just a bit older than the boy 60’s and 70’s rock – that was like potato chips to me. We don’t play a lot of those records in my house since they’ve been burned into my brain and I think Alex can say he had a full childhood and not have to say “My dad got me into the White Album when I was six”

But he wanted music and a little of my old comfort food crap seemed harmless enough.

His reaction to it all?

Song the First - STONES You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Alex: “Dad, this is never going to rock. This is opera.”

Song the Second – WHO Won’t Get Fooled Again

Alex: “This band sounds like it is trying to start a war.”

/later on during the keyboard solo

Alex: “The organ-er is pretty good on this song Daddy.”

/one minute later

Alex: “Dad, I’m getting tired of the organ-er.”

Keith moon’s drum fill kicks in

Alex: “Whoa!”

Roger Daltry: “YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Me & Alex: “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Song the Last – EAGLES Peaceful Easy Feeling

Alex: “Why is this guy and the brown girl sleeping in the dessert? There are scorpions out there.”

Me: “Ok, that’s enough radio for now."

ECUBS

It should stand for Ed Can't Understand Baseball Strategy. I kept a low profile at work on Thursday and didn't want to pounce on the deflated/sad/sucks to be at work after drinking to a late night loss cub fans I work with. It's not necessarily because I am nice. Hey! I gotta work with these people.

No, I like my cub fan friends.

The only thing I said to them was 'The cubs will win games two and three because the back-to-back lefties will put a crimp in the bats of the D-bags'

Man, I am an idiot.

I think Devin said it best when he said, "So you really don't know anything about baseball do you ed?"

The D-Bags had no problem with Ted Lily. Every hitter seemed to have a plan and executed some great AB's.

EVEN FORMER CUB MINOR LEAGUE VETERAN AUGIE OJEDA!!!!!

I bet his dear old dad was proud of him.

The only cub last night who looked like they had a plan against Doug Davis was Soto. He waited that slow-ass pitching motherfucker out and jerked a two run homer over the left field fence. Everyone else, with the exception of Lee seemed lost at the dish last night.

Theriot swinging for the fences? Puh-lease. He is supposed to be smart. He is supposed to know who he is.

By the way, Doug Davis' motion towards the plate is so slow I think birds can land on him, preen their feathers and fly out of the stadium (when the roof is open) between his leg kick and release.

Doug Davis is who we thought he is....and we let him off the hook!

Who is this we? I'm not on the cubs.

Nor am I a cubs fan.

But I am a baseball fan and the cubs moving on in the playoffs is good for baseball. Nobody (but me and a few other dedicated nerds) are going to give a fig-flying fuck (?!?) for a Rockies/Diamondbacks NLCS.

And that's the way it is America.

- -- --- -- - - - ------------ - - - - - - - - - - - - -

ok, it is later America and, unlike my cub fan friends at work - I AM HAVING A GREAT FUCKING DAY! Not because the cubs lost but because I am playing hooky from work.

You heard me right. Fuck work today.

I took a revenge vacation day. Maybe more on that later.

I don't hate my job mind you, but some personal/family things happened (nothing bad) that necessitated me moving my work schedule around on Friday. I thought 'Fuck all that noise and trouble, I'll just take the day. I've got the time coming any way. Hell with it'

Pulled into River Heights early and thought I'd have to sit in my car for a bit. There was a gentle morning rain. It was the kind of rain that looked like it wouldn't stay long.

What would DC say? "It was just spittin'..."

Then he would shoot the rain.

Lo and behold, as soon as I turned off my engine the sky-spit stopped, the clouds receded and a gentle wave of sunlight washed across the first fairway. It was almost as if God said to me: "Go ahead kid. You can play through."

What little water remained on the course was almost refreshing as my blade cut through it sprayed at my ankles keeping my feet nice and cool as the morning got hotter.

Twenty some holes later there were no birdies, but a respectable number of bogeys (again, bogeys are par to me) and one par.

With golf weather quickly going the way of the Canadian geese (presumably to Tennessee) it looks like I am destined to only have shot one bird this summer.

On the golf course...playing the game...not the stupid Canadian geese that litter River Heights...the Canadian geese are protected.

By NAFTA I think.

Stupid NAFTA.

The minute they allow the sunset clause to kick in on the 'no beating the fuck out of protected geese' part of the agreement, that's when I take out my driver and go through those geese like crap through a Hun.

Sorry Patton.

And PETA.

This may be my best post yet as I have managed to offend supporters of the Third Reich - General George C. Scott, er S. Patton - NAFTA and PETA all with the same unfunny joke.

Who says I ain't working today?

Is This a Test

I am having problems uploading stuff to blogger. Let me see if this works.

Ok. It looks like all this crap is uploading now. I dunno what happened before and I will pretend not to care.

Listening to the new Joanna Newsome (well it was new sometime in the past year) and toggling back and forth between that and some Tom Waits tracks from Orphans.

I toggle between records now. What has become of me? What will become of me?

Ash.

In between I will continue to toggle some great music and be undeserving of pity from anyone except for everyone.

I am too lazy to assemble the rest of this Tom Waits record. What does that say about me?

When ChrisB first got his kick ass record collection all loaded and manipulatable on his machine he burned a lot of discs for me with tons of great music in alphabetical order.

Enjoying listening to music these days in part, because I am not writing anything new (or anything that's worth anything I'm just writing shit to keep doing it waiting for more good songs to come) but mostly I am enjoying listening to records because aside from prayer and time with family it is time well spent.

This is one of those periods when everything is falling into place. I don't have time to write and no need to throw myself into it with any great thrust of energy. bD will have a show in Rockford next week (thanks Lady Di), the Ambersons will have a coupla practices left to get our shit together for Oct 25th and it will be fun to sit down with them again...

Things may get a bit manic after the Oct 25th show. I turned down another gig (with possible hard feelings and fall out to follow) and we will probably turn down some more gigs coming our way but that will serve a greater goal. bD can start recording these new songs we've worked so hard on and I love so much.

I don't recognize the Decemberist track that is playing now. It is probably from the Crane wife record that I loaded into my machine and then never took the time to listen to in one sitting. That sounds like me. Critics are saying it was the best record last year. I'm always a few years behind these things so I'll really dig it in 2010 or something like that.

I figure I have plenty of time to listen to this and other records before the end of the Mayan Calender.

This Decemberist song is pretty good. Maybe I should listen to the record before 2010. There's a part:

"I will hang my head, hang my head - low"

/and there are some cool doodely, doodly things that make it sound like a song from Camper's OUr Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart.

Another great record my friend ChrisB burned for me.

Did I mention that I wish Chris Young was still on our beloved WhiteSOX?

See the Light Water Reactor

...or, from Crawford to DeKalb, Texas.

Congrats to gBushy and those who strongly believed from the beginning that multiplayer negotiations were the only way to go with N. Korea. The six-party talks seemed to take forever and were incredibly frustrating for all those who see the US president as the leader of the free world and something like a broker or caretaker of peace.

Disassembling the facility where the N. Koreans obtained the fissionable material that most likely led to their bomb…and subjecting that process to scrutiny from not just one but five other countries – countries in the region with a more pressing interest in a Blooey-capable Kim Jong ILL (not from the I-L-L)….

This was the bush administration dream from the get go and one of their few realistic and almost realized dreams they saw through (or nearly to completion).

There are those who are still critical of Captain Crawford for not engaging in one-on-one talks with the N. Koreans. These are the same idiots who lambaste bush for going-it-alone in Iraq. More proof that Ricky Nelson was right.

About freebasing near the cabin heater of a DC-3?

ABOUT EVERYTHING!

I’m not saying that bush doesn’t deserve a library full of criticism for 8 years of foreign and domestic jackassery, but I’ll give him this one. He got some of what the old (failed) Carter/Klinton plan sought…but this time the responsibility for verification is shared. That means, esp for those who don’t trust gBushy’s assessment of a country’s nuclear capacity there are others who will weigh in on the threat of N. Korea or its compliance with obligations.

One point on libraries, maybe everyone will forgive some of the idiocy of the past two presidential terms if we all agree not to have a presidential library for Mr. Bring It On.

No library and we’ll try to forget.

Fat chance.

At least bush isn’t a fat president.

Man I wish the WhiteSOX still had Chris Young. They could’ve left him stranded at third just as often as the Diamondbacks have.

Sorry D-bags...er -backs.

Finally, take this for what you will cub fans. No matter what happens tonight your team has the left-handers Lily and Hill going in Games 2 & 3. Both of these guys will give AZ fits. You have my personal guarantee.

Ryan Theriot can have a long and beautiful career in baseball if he continues doing what he did late in the game tonight...banging the ball off the plate forcing the shortstop to field the ball on a high hop, arching down near the beginning of the left field grass and driving in the first run to crack Webb. The mustache still has to go, but nice woodwork young man.

Enough on baseball. I will end with something about which I know even less...

Here are some great lyrics from the Avett Brothers' Yard Sale:

The guitar I am holding is way out of tune
The neck it is warped and the saddle is through
I wonder if sweet music ever was played
From the hands of a boy to a girl in the shade
From this rickety ghost of a song
Here at this yard sale

You Didn't Have the Ball Bitch

Boy, you listen to some baseball experts and the poor little Arizona Diamondbacks ought to pack up their 90 wins, go home and call it a successful season.

I wonder what will happen tomorrow when the pre-season Cy Young winner (in his own mind) goes against an actual Cy Young Winner???

Maybe Carlos has been stupid like a fox all along. Maybe he has put all this seemingly unnecessary pressure on himself, restarted the season over and over again, engaged in asinine behavior with friend, foe and fans alike to prepare himself for the biggest test of his career. I don’t know if Webb (who is the more accomplished pitcher although his contract doesn’t look as “accomplished” as Big $’s…uh I mean Big Z’s) – I don’t know how or if Webb will handle the pressure in tomorrow night’s Game 1 - - - - -

Sure, Z couldn’t beat Aaron Haraunge (another actual ace) but he beat the Haraungeless Reds last Friday night to stop the cubs backslide into post-season glory. Maybe Z’s luck is changing at the right time. Maybe he, the cubs and the baseball world will find out that Webb is a choker and will give it up to the cubs like an Iowa whore on a davenport…

I doubt anyone will ever find out that Zambrano is a better pitcher than Webb but maybe we’ll find out one or more of these other things.

I have no idea who will win cubs v. Snakes. I’d like to see the cubs go as far as possible because once they’re in it’s good for baseball and I know some beautiful people who would die to see the cubs win it all.

And I’ve known others who have died waiting for the cubs to win it all.

As great as the ’05 WhiteSOX were during the regular season, when they played the 1st series vs. Boston I kept thinking to myself - -

JUST DON’T GET SWEPT BY BOSTON
JUST DON’T GET SWEPT BY BOSTON

All I know are these two stupid things that shouldn’t happen:

1. THE D-BAGS SHOULD NOT NOT NOT NOT RUN ON FUCKING SORRY-IANO UNLESS HE IS LAYING FLAT ON HIS COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING BACK…

…WITH HIS TORN GROIN HANGING OUT OF HIS PANTS

….AND HE IS DEAD

…AND ARMLESS

…AND VULTURES ARE FLYING OFF WITH THE ARM

…AND THE VULTURES ARE ALREADY OUT OF STATE

…AND THE BALL IS STILL IN THE HAND OF THE ARM IN THE MOUTH OF THE VULTURE THAT HAS JUST CROSSED THE STATE LINE

…AND ONLY RUN IF THE NEXT BATTER IS THE PITCHER AND THERE ARE TWO OUTS

2. cub fans, pray to whatever blue, anti-goat god you believe in that Lou is bluffing when he says Zambrano is the only cub pitcher capable of pitching on 3 days rest. Pray he is bluffing, or he doesn’t have to use Zambrano on 3 days.

I know this. The cubs have the best bullpen of the remaining NL teams. If they get to the 7th inning with a 1 run lead or trailing by a run, I like the cubs chances to win.

Also of all the teams left in the NL the cubs have the best team ERA…after the Padres were knocked out by the Rockies.

If you’re like me (a stupid fucking dork) you watched Game 163 last night instead of MNF and you thought ‘Man, none of the other team sports have anything like Game 163.’

I laughed my motherfucking ass off when it was the coward Barrett who dropped the ball and lost Game 163 for the Padres. Barrett’s offensive contribution an inning earlier was going from a 3-0 count with a runner @ 2nd, 2 outs and grounding out weakly to end the scoring opportunity.

As Denny Green would say “He is what I thought he was.”

The ump didn’t let him off the hook because the coward, the fish, the fool was able to block the plate and step on the hand of the better man…but Barrett neglected the most important thing in the situation – THE BALL!

If you are one of those who say ‘it looks like MH did not get the plate’ I say – you have a case. The umpire just refused to give the Not So Great #8 the benefit of the doubt when he didn’t have the ball. I’m sure he muttered some dumb shit like ‘Ooops I’m gonna need that’

Or what did he say to AJ before he failed to knock him down with the suckerpunch?

“I didn’t have the ball bitch.”

I can still hear Barrett crying in his no carb beer after Game 163 “I didn’t have the ball bitch…I didn’t have the ball bitch *sob sob”

The cubs have two better catchers than they did at the beginning of the season and I ain’t talking about Hank White. Getting rid of Barrett was one of the best moves the management team made this year. I salute them.

I will be honest and admit that it is easier to watch the cubs in the postseason than it was to watch my beloved WhiteSOX. I was so caught up in thinking they were the best Chicago baseball team I ever saw I didn’t want to see them blow it.

With the cubs doing well I can be all lippy, not worry and be happy for my friends if they win.

Speaking of friends, I gotta to talk to a few of them in order to execute my plan to put out a few youTube clips of Celine live to tape, maybe Hey Reagan (maybe even Rose Marie) stuff we probably won’t do in the show but stuff that Bill and Sonia both expressed interest in doing.

And on a topic not related to the previous ones...great line from the Philip Roth interview for his latest book: "I find the body a landscape as rich as Newark, New Jersey."

Philip K. Roth wrote something about fighting Nazi overlords in an alternate time line.

Pants On

First full practice Sunday for the October 25th show - it went better than I hoped for considering we haven’t all been in the same room since Chris’ wedding. We played the following (and maybe more, I don’t remember)…

Alice
Call It Anything You Like
Mt. St. Michael
Drinkinstone
Stay Out Here
My Best Friend
Ridin’ that Wave
Not Let Go
Lincoln County
Weightless
Thank You

- then we stripped down and played Mundo e Mono, Wasted Days and Hey Reagan.

Bill kept his pants on.

Sorry.

Great to see Sonia again. The best part of the day is how much we all laughed together. Sure we laughed at some stupid shit and most of the laughing was at our own expense…

But I am a firm believer that is how you can tell that you are growing up.

You can laugh at yourself, what went right, what went wrong…and all without bitterness.