Monday Got Away

Ran around too damned much today and I don't like it.

SPELLING

let's

he'd

you'll

can't

I'd

you'd

haven't

hasn't

she'd

they'll

when's

we'd

I really have nothing to write about. I barely have time to sit and think for a minute.

fuck

Almost Cut My Hair

Erica came by this weekend and she cut my hair. I would've kept it all over the place but Kim said, "I like your hair long. Erica likes it long to but try to do something with it. For me?"

She is the one that has to look at me, so why not?

It looks like we will not get the copies of MOI bound this weekend but did a bunch of other stuff for the book. Need to contact Larry on Wed to see if the studio's free. Wed is the only day I have this week for rock and even one of the guys has a conflict or a potential conflict I have to try and go to the studio so I don't spend another week with my thumb up my ass.

Alex did a good job with all his chores on Sat. We went to 4:30 Mass and dropped off mom at school so she could prepare for the week. The boy did such a good job with all his tasks I told him he could have a friend over. He invited Pam and I made the kids some Red Baron pizza.

Sunday - the house is full of kids and I am full of piss and vinegar. Ok, not so much vinegar.

It's later and now I am even out of piss.

I will contact Chris to see what days are good for him. The studio is booked Wed evening. Dev is doing an airport run on Wed. I'm not even sure what Chris and OD's availability is for this week.

Someday I will learn to be more into just "being" than having to do do do all the time. But I only have so many "do" years left. Kim heard the Kish stuff and is excited for what we have. She heard the final mix of Virginia side-by-side with the raw/quickie mixes of some other tracks and she thinks they all have their merits and shortcomings. And she liked the new intro.

Technically, Alex was the first person to hear the new intro to the record. I thought he'd like it. It's the last minute 42 of a song called "The Irrelevent in the Room" and it's crazy. He likes crazy and he liked how it went from everything being all thrashy and feedbacky into a regular song.

BEARS!
suck

Thanksgiving and the Big Slag Off

Kim's folks hosted Thanksgiving on the South Side. My folks came out. So did Kim's Auntie Chris. Good times and great food. I ate like a beast. An insatiable beast. I remember what it was like to eat like this all of the time. I do not miss those days.

I wasted my last year or so in the Ambersons eating myself to fat Elvis (or is it Edvis) status. No way to spend good rock 'n roll years. That's one of the reasons the behind the music was so sad for that band.

Bill: "Ed, it used to be about the music. Now it's all about bolony, Twinkies and chocolate milk."
ed: "Slag off!"
Bill: "But ed, we all care about you and..."
ed: "I said, SLAG OFF!!!"

Lost a week of doing music stuff last week so cannot fuck up this week. Need to have my shit in order and know what I can do and know what I have no business wasting my time doing.

Is that confusing? Try being me. I'm confused all day.

Personal crap for this weekend

1. Finish bills
2. Clean upstairs drawer
3. Pick up color cartridge
4. Re-print new cover letter on good paper
5. Help Kim move furniture
6. Wiper blades for bar car
7. Sort out Alex's basketball practice and the possibilities for rock practice or going back to Larry's next week (I will only have one day for rock next week and I can't lose it)

For These Gifts and Treasures

Lord, thank you for the love you have shown me. Kim is the greatest gift a man has ever received. I celebrate the gift of my son Alex. His love reminds me how Christ taught us to love God. Thank you for our Pastor, Msgr. Nelson and our priests at Newman Center. I haven't quite learned how to listen but know that I am trying to make their message my guide through this life. This world, this time, every day (even a shitty Wed with a headache at work) is treasured by me. Someday I will learn to make a service (not sure what word to use here Lord) to love and your glory and the joy of all creation from these days mixed with what talents I have been given. For now Lord I know the true treasures that have been granted me, and I owe all thanks to you.

Amen

Where is Here

Over by there? Need to clear my head. Glad for so much this year and I need to focus on that. I can't fall prey to what gets most people...crying for what they don't have. There will always be things that can't be had by a certain person...in this case, that person is me.

I don't care if this doesn't make sense.

Put up Harvest Here on the OKB MySpace. Joe is giving me some suggestions for the most recent One for the Walkers mix. I've got to be honest, I think the raw/quickie mix is substantially better. This sort of thing, along with other things, fuck with my head more than they should. I'm sure I'll be able to work out this stuff at LnL and all will be well.

For now, I will just enjoy having the raw mix of Harvest Here out there...and you can hear it here

I'll Get Started

...on I Can't Get Started with my guitar students next week. We finished up My Blue Heaven and things are going ok

Better than the previous sentence anyway, and this one isn't looking too hot either.

Sorry.

Putting Kish mixes up on the OKB MySpace. Feel free to rip 'em (in any sense you like) and react to them (in any way that you like) here, there and/or everywhere.

Even though I'm not convinced the boys were convinced these songs were good, they played great. I felt the presence of our band in those sessions more than it had been at our hurried and often harried practices. We have busy, grown up lives. Everyone does what they can. I was trying to find riffs and left over stuff from all our practice tapes that would be worth finishing. I think something good happened between us. I don't think Devin was happy with the process which is ok. We pushed it pretty far and we can move on from here.

Anyhow some of this stuff, almost complete is going up on the MySpace with more coming as I finish it or before.

???

Walker to Be

Didn't take long to mix One for the Walkers on Sat. I gotta play it for the O Diggy. I don't want us to rely too much on a template mentality for this record. Virginia's mix worked perfectly for Virginia. This mix seems a little wetter. Maybe it's just because I loved the quickie mic of One for the Walkers so much. Joe's ears aren't poised in the same way as mine are. I had to listen to those rough cuts soooo damned much for performance, overdubs and reasons that are purely narcissistic.

Ask Bill Garver why he was miserable being in a band with me. I listened to those early ambersongs mixes over and over and over. It didn't help but when you care about something ya gotta try.

Alex and I stayed up late watching the Hawks on Sat. Kim came back from her girls' night out. We had a nice evening together.

Thanks to our guy B.C. for hanging out with Alex Sunday night while Kim and I went out for dinner. Life is too short. Not enough time to have all the hand holding, laughing together and just plain fun dinners with my lady.

We're Eating Half and Half

Family Movie Night on Friday! Iron Man! Alex incorporated FMN with a sleepover. Of course when we have a sleepover there are tons of other kids from the neighborhood who aren't sleeping over but come to see how late they can stay at our place. By the end we needed Iron Man to clear out the small army of children gathering in our living room. Good times.

I have to remember that these days will not last forever. Got to enjoy them. The boy is only young once and there are only so many years I get to share a house with him.

Sleepover sleeping schedules are eternal. Stay up late, get up extra early. And this crew woke up extra early, even by sleepover standards. Kim got her wonderful ass up and into the kitchen and made us all pancakes. They were super fluffy and Kim said, "I think it is because we are out of milk and I used half and half with this batch."

Alex said, "We're eating half and half? Yayyyy!"

Yayyyy indeed.

I helped the boys set up the Dreamcast and they are playing ye olde timey video games in our living room.

I'll Talk to Bob Costas

So the Bears are too busy to be interviewed as part of the big Sunday Night Football programme...

Shit, if they want to talk to someone, I'm available.

"Well Bob, we're a running team. We get off the bus running. Actually Jay gets off the bus running because he has no fucking protection. If that poor sonuvabitch had any sense of self-preservation, he'd never get off the bus. Jay's our quarterback."

Bunch of fucking whiners at Halas Hall. Hunkering down against the nasty old media, it makes my skin crawl. I feel like a cub fan.

I'm tired of even defending Lovie as a nice guy. It is his job to talk to people about the team whether they win or lose. It's bad enough that the more control he's had, the worse the team's gotten. Now he's not doing the second easiest part of his job.

Picked up Alex. He had fun with the gang. Then we worked on his x5's. Then we did a few general math drills. Went to the bank, paid Kim's Kohl's bill, had dinner, played chess and watched the Hawks. Then played some football in the living room while still watching the Hawks.

Alex and Cookie went to bed and I am still watching the Hawks.

Hawks.

I bet they'd talk to Bob Costas.

Confirmed Sat mixdown session (11am @ LnL) for One for the Walkers. Kim and I are working on the other package Saturday before I leave for Elgin. If all goes according to plan, I should make it back for late afternoon Mass.

Tears of Shit and the Old Clone

...or, Ye Olde Arse Clowne Clone.

Great practice last night. We laughed about some stupid shit. We were locked in for 90% of the material. We went up in Chris' kitchen and laughed about some more stupid shit.

Not the least of which was our new side project - - TEARS OF SHIT...a concept album where every song is about something bad that happened to Eric Clapton.

Ok, maybe it was the least of which.

When Chris asked if it was too soon for Tears of Shit I said, "Dude, Tears of Shit couldn't come soon enough."

We also discussed the possibility of cloning the Old Dog and what sort of assplay might be morally permissible with our creation...the Old Clone.

Too soon...especially since we haven't successfully genetically engineered the Old Clone.

Yet.

Ye Olde Arse Clowne Clone

Virginia passed the Old Dog test. Played him the mix on the way out to Sugar Grove. Say what you will about his vision and his taste in friends (mostly me), but I trust his ears absolutely. He said we got what we were trying to get relative to what the studio does and does best. I hope that doesn't sound too provisional. Ready to mix One for the Walkers...do some more and get takes to the boys to see what they think of all their hard work.

Ass Me No Questions

Typical, hectic Monday...sort of. It's 8:10pm and I am just sitting down to my computer and...

Oh shit, I forgot to get gas and run some errands. Be right back.

Ok, I'm back. Bus driver strike in our school district. While it doesn't directly affect Alex, he asked me, "What do the drivers want dad?"

I said, "People striking always want either more of something, or less of something else or a little of both."

Kim made some killer pasta gravy last night and I overdosed on it...bigtime. Great food for day after whiskey drinking and cookie 'n pork chop eating. Soaked all the day after aches and pains away in garlicy goodness.

All this fine pasta sauce from last night lead one of my coworkers to say to me this morning, "You just farted didn't you?"

I did and I owned up to it.

She continued, "It smells like garlic. Shane, doesn't the room smell like garlic?"

Shane said, "It fucking smells like garlic in here."

And the coworker who smelt what I dealt said, "I know this sounds fucking sick and wrong, but ed's fart smells delicious."

Just as I always suspected, not only does my shit not stink...

...but sometimes, my ass even smells good.

On the topic of shit smell that really stinks, I watched some Monday Nite Football. Every time I see the Cleveland Browns play football this year, I feel better about the Bears. Then I feel bad again because I have to watch the Cleveland Browns just to feel good about the Bears.

bears

Whiskey and Cookies and Cookie

Thanks and much love to Mark for sending me a gift via snail mail. The pages are on my nightstand and I look forward to having something exciting to read when the Book of #'s makes me feel like I am going to pass out - FOREVER!

Fun time @ Al and Judi's. Kim normally has to drag me to go out and have fun because at bottom I am a piece of crap that would always rather be writing. But once I go, I have fun and say to my lady: "See, and you didn't want to go out tonight."

Manhattans (of the "perfect" variety) and cookies (of the oatmeal and chocolate chip variety made by Kimberly Jo) all that lead to dozing this afternoon, fading in and out of the Bengals/Steelers game with Cookie laying across my lab.

Thanks and much love to Al for making those killer pork chops. Thanks and much love to Alex for being a perfect gentleman and a wonderful dinner guest for his grandma's 65th. Most importantly, thanks to Kim for driving home. If it was me behind the wheel, forget making it back to DeKalb...we wouldn't have made it to Cicero.

I got everybody up for 8am Mass because I knew I'd be even more useless later in the day. The Lord's people were in His house, a little worse for wear and tear but there anyway. So blessed to have this life.

Sweet Virginia Sour Note

....yet again. Virginia still hasn't been subjected to the Old Dog test but I have noticed one thing that's gonna need attention. I boosted my guitar the proverbial cunt hair right before the fucked up ending and I boosted it a little too much. It sounds like an overdub and that's the last damned thing we want.

Spending time listening to Virginia and a few other things that might appear as part of a Virginia teaser disc.

Worked on bills, Kim helped me take care of updating the IPass shit and we did general home ec stuff. Stuff that had to be done before going to the OF for Grandma Judi's 65th birthday...

Played the latest mix for Kim on the way out and she thinks, for the most part, everything is opened up and clear now. That's good news. She knows how to listen to music. She may have lousy taste in men but she knows if something is good or shit...musicwise. Love that grrrl!

The Ed in Editing

Worked at Larry's last night. We remixed Virginia and dealt with the thundering herd that was Joe's bass track. We brought the kick back as well...without dropping the overall level of the bass.

The bass is now at 10 o'clock...or 10:30...or thereabouts. It's an old timey rock 'n roll trick. Pan the bass slightly and roll off the lows. This opens things up when the bass and the kick are fighing for the same sonic space or whatever you want to call it. Either one eclipses the other sound or they both get washed out in a low-end rumble (and not the good kind of rumble...the Link Wray way) OD heard it right away when I played him the first final mix. This one is better.

Brought the vocal back slightly. After dropping the voc a bit, we didn't need to raise D's guitars as much as I thought. The two Devin tracks were easy to deal with for this song. I may have to come hat in hand and ask D to attend mixdown sessions for Harvest Here and Four to Blow. Lot more going on with the guitars there. Lots of interplay and overlap.

We'll see how much of his time we'll need. Dude has a lot going on. I'm not going to get fucked up or bossy. Do what we can, when we can. If Joe thinks we got this one pretty close, we can move on to One for the Walkers. I am so lucky I have a chance to work with these guys and get to hear these things go from idea, to band to tape and hopefully out to someone who will enjoy the songs.

The Lord has made my life easy, at least for now and I have a chance to take part in things like making records.

You Can't Take Your Fouls Home

Second week of player evaluation in the 3rd Grade Basketball League. The director made a speech and said he has a philosophy when it comes to youth basketball at this level: "It is simply about having fun."

I whispered to Coach Dennis, "I have a philosophy too. The boy has five fouls to give and only so much time to give them. You can't take the fouls home. The only thing you leave on the court are bodies..."

Yeah, I'm going to get banned from the Park District by season's end. Commie bastards!

What am I saying? I love the Park District. Maybe I'm the Commie bastard.

Got to get my ass in gear and bind copies of MOI for those who express interest. I know some nice people. One gal in particular has a reputation of being a voracious reader...devouring books left and right. This is definitely someone I want seeing the book. If they're honest with me I can get some insight from good, decent folks who love books but don't read and write for a living. That kind of input is priceless to someone like me.

I hope this makes sense, but I want to know if the book works the way I think it does. The only way I'll know that is to have all sorts of people read it. I don't know why I need to know this. I just do and am excited to give it away. Kim'll be able to show me how to use the binder thingy soon.

NOT THAT YOU SICK BASTARDS!

Well, maybe a little of that.

Still need to send one to Jaimie and give the rest of MOI to Dennis.

Come on ed. Don't be a dick. Get this stuff to these nice people...

So they can tear it to shreds

Do I Have Enough Discipline

...to STOP practicing my guitar? I am not getting any better. I am running in place or playing runs in place or playing pointless runs, going nowhere.

Gave lessons tonight and kept going like a fool...even tho I have a helluva lot of other stuff (important and otherwise) that I need to do.

And it's not like I'm playing anything new...just reworking the old standards.

Productive day at work. Came home and Alex did his math and decodable reader. He found Michael and the boys walked Cookie.

I've got to get out of stupid guitar playing loop.

I need to contact Larry because I think I've figured out a way to finish the record. Did I say that the other day?

I Cut My Eye

Somehow managed to cut my eye, or just below my eye while shaving. I knew I was uncoordinated but this looks bad...even for me. What should I say when people ask me what happened?

I'll say that Kim hit me.

Now that that problem's solved I can think about how much I did not accomplish this weekend.

There...that's better.

Alex and I purchased a Sunday Football Feast from Tom and Jerry's. Then we watched the Cardinals feast on bear meat.

mmmmm...delicious bear meat.

Sorry Bear fans.

I'm not going to defend Ron Turner, because...um why would I? But I will stand by what I have said in the past. He's not their biggest problem. Lovie is a man and took over the defensive play calling...because it's his defensive scheme they have been running...or his version of the Dungee Tampa thing. He knows it hasn't worked the way it should (really since Tommie H's injury in 2006). It relies on defensive linemen who can get to the quarterback without a lot of blitzes. The coverage scheme...especially on 3rd down doesn't work when you have to bring guys out of coverage to pressure the quarterback.

See Devin and everyone else who thinks I don't know jack about baseball. I know even less about football. Where was I going with all this?

This should be the beginning of the end of Lovie Smith and his regime. Nice guy. Crappy defense, at least for the Bears.

The New Now

I think I need a new and better title for this post.

Now!

Alex is doing better. Both sets of grandparents were supposed to come over this weekend. Worry-wart that I am, I cancelled everything on Friday night. I delivered part of Grandma Judi's birthday present and picked up my bad-ass suit. When I made it home, Alex was out playing with Michael and Pam. Kim said he was feeling better and the gang helped her do clean up work around the yard.

Got back late and worked on Postojna.

One sentence

Four words

Not much

But ok

Yes

Hard Writing this in Public

Poor Alex is down for another day. His fever was super high @ 2am last night/this morning. He was doing his fever talk and Cookie started barking. She's a messed up version of the Medic Alert bracelet or some such shit.

Even though I'm sad and a little worried about my sick kid, we've had fun together these past coupla days...at least when the fever was down. Wed evening he was in great spirits. I thought the worst had passed. We were watching the World Series and playing our guitars as Cookie slept in her little bed between us.

On the guitar front...I think I need to talk to D about continuing to do overdubs for Kish. It felt so good playing the last show and I think our band needs to do more live stuff. I want to finish Kish but I think we may get diminishing returns if I keep pushing D to od tracks that Chris OD and I play on in advance (worst sentence ever?).

I found two more great riffs from the bD recordings Chris gave me from over the past seven years and whipped them up into two more songs for the Kish recording. But, if I ask the fellows to work more in the studio I may be responsible for killing what is so great about our band. We all need something that we get from playing together. I am realizing that more and more after playing the gig and not practicing with those boys for two weeks.

There's enough completed stuff in the can for Kish...a second to last song can be twisted out of some of this other stuff and then we can have the ending we all worked on anyway. I know this is shitty writing and doesn't make any sense. It is hard to write about what the band is doing in the blog. I wish I never gave up my journal.

More on this nonsense later.

Pre-Postojna

Started working on a story idea that may or may not be part of a bigger thing called Postojna. We will see. Or not.

Worked.

No rock and it sucks. We will see what transpires later in the week. Or not.

Chris had something tonight and I had something so it could not be helped. But what of the poor Dev and OD. They need to rock. I need to rock. No rock.

For now

Took Alex to basketball. It was player evaluation in his new league. He complained that he was hot and had a headache. Right before we left he had his little crew over and they were playing in the yard. I thought the boy was trying to con me because he wanted to get back to the gang.

When we got home he had a fever of over 100. I said that I was sorry for not believing him at practice. Bad dad.

I feel bad for the kid, but I also feel bad for me. This is going to be a frustrating week where nothing gets done. A wasted week sober.

Shit.

I should just enjoy my family and help the kiddo in any way I can. I don't even have to do too much. He has Nurse Cookie to help him

Aw yeah...

Two Hoosegows

Spelling Week of Nov 11

splash

throw

three

square

throat

strike

street

split

splurge

thrill

strength

squeak


I don't remember anything about last Thursday. It is not because I was all fucked up man or anything like that. I just can't remember it...at all. That's why I do this blog, so I don't forget my life.

Everyone else will forget it, why should I?

I love my life.

Presumably last Thursday wasn't bad or forgettable. I just can't remember it.

Friday was Family Movie Night and it was Alex's choice. Scooby Doo 2. We also watched a lot of the Hawks game because there will not be another game until next Thursday.

I better not forget that.

Saturday morning was spent with bills and writing. Trying to get MOI snail mail packages together...but I was pretty distracted. I may have a big car expenditure in my future and it affects my ability to write with a clear head. It will also put OKB mixdowns and overdubs behind. Dammmit.

bD did not practice the last week of Oct and things do not look good for the 1st week of Nov. More on that later

Trick or Treating for Alex and Finn! They had fun. Alex, Kim, Cookie and I had a camp out in the living room. Originally Alex and I were going to watch the World Series or USC vs. the Ducks while an exhausted mom and Cookie slept. But while we watched the World Series, the boy said, "Can we watch the real World Series where the White Sox beat the Astros in Game 4."

He loves when Juan Uribe dives into the crowd for the 2nd to last out.

I got a little teary-eyed when the boy asked.

I still can't believe the WhiteSOX won...almost five years later and it still brings me joy to remember Oct 26, 2005.

I guess it is just over four years later not almost five.

My mullet is weighing down my brain.

Sorry mullets.

Sunday was T's confirmation. Kim was her sponsor. Biship Imesch presided. He confirmed me back in the day.

NOT THAT YOU SICK BASTARDS!

Last week, Alex and I drove to Crest Hill to pick up Kim from Cousin Mike's house after the rehearsal. We passed Stateville and I showed him the cemetery for prisoners. I don't think he was scared straight...just weirded out, but he's a good boy and doesn't need to be scared straight.

On the Sunday of the confirmation we went to St. Joe's in Joliet by way of Lockport and Collins St. We passed the old Joliet Correctional Center (the one from the beginning of the Blues Brothers)

After seeing two hoosegows in two weeks, Alex said, "There are a lot of prisons in this town."

I said, "It's a bad town son. A bad bad town."

Fun time at Cousin Mike's place. Great party put on by Joan and I was happy to spend time with my Aunt Connie and Uncle George. Alex loves his Cousin T and they hung out most of the afternoon. T and I busted out some guitars and she played Highway to Hell, while I joined her on That's All Right Mama and Going to California. She is a swell kid. My cousin and his wife are fantastic parents and they inspire me.

Ate too fucking much but it was all worth it.

On the way back to DeKalb Alex said he was going to do mouth guitar to the entire Born to Run record because he wanted to be awake and spend time with Cookie when he got home. A few times I asked if I could interrupt his mouth guitar marathon to check on the World Series. He thanked me. When we pulled in the driveway he told Kim, "Mom, I can't feel my lips." Then he ran in and hugged the chihuahua.

It was a nice gesture. A little weird...but a nice gesture nonetheless.